[NLMONT]

I am in LDR hell here, or so it seems.. before we were long distance, my boyfriend and I had been together for 3 months. It doesn't really seem that long but we were so close and I had the best time with him.

So anyhow, he went off to Florida to start college in August this summer. At first, everything was fine. I really missed him but everything seemed to be going well. We're 2, almost 3 months down the line since he's been away and I won't be seeing him until after Christmas and then after that, not until May 2010. He plans to stay out in America for probably the next 6 years (he's at college for 2 and then university for 4 most likely) and then maybe live his life out there (I live in England by the way!).. Do you think its unrealistic for us to stay together? It just seems to me like there will never be any reprise from the distance but at the same time, I still want to be with him. At the same time, I think he's having doubts about the feasibility of us staying together whilst being apart for so long.. I just don't know what to do. But my main question is about the future of the relationship, with being apart for so long.. any feedback would be great.

[redhed35]

He's planning on living in america... has he included you in this plan?

Sounds like he is making plans,living his life and generally getting on with things... and your,what? Counting the days and months until you see him again?

Its really up to the pair of you to decide if your relationship will stay the distance... perhaps the distance and seeing each other 2 or 3 times a year will be enough,depends on what your both happy with.

I say both,because the relationship is half his as well,so the effort to keep things running should be 50/50.

[NLMONT]

I see your point. Thing is, I'm at university for the next 3 years so there is almost no chance of us being together, at least until those 3 years are up. For some people, there's an end point but for us, I really can't see one.. does this mean the relationship is doomed?

[talaniman]

That's a long time to be apart for sure. I can only wish you the best of luck.

[redhed35]

Its difficult to maintain long distance relationships even when they are within the same country..

Do you think your relationship is doomed because of the long distance?

One suggestion I can think of is ending the relationship on good terms,and live your life...

Unless your prepared to wait that long,and move to america!.

Are you willing to do that?

Is he?

[rosemcs]

Live your life without being together and see what opens up as time goes on. Otherwise, how will you or he stand the lack of physical affections?

[Belle1986]

I'm in the same situation with my boyfriend, we are separted (alot shorter distance than you and yours) by my school and his job. I just don't see a time when we will be together again. Him and I have been together for 2 years now and I see him about 3 days a month. It's hard, and I'm not sure its something I want to continue to do, you really begin to get used to not seeing him, you talk less often then suddenly, you realize that all that's left is to say that "it's over". You need to live for you, enjoy your University years and decide which comprimises and sacrifices are going to be made by either party. If he isn't willing to accommodate you in his life, or you him, then you need to realize that allowing it to drag on will only make it harder later on.

[darkamenity]

What people have problems with sometimes it worrying about the future. We do it too often and most of the time it's pointless cause we jump to conclusions, get all irrational.

I've only been with my boyfriend for 2 months. I had to leave the country unexpectedly because my dad had been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer.

I know I'm not looking for anyone new and I do worry he might want to be with someone more conveniently closer.

My experience with LDRs is that is can only last for so long, a few months, because one person might get more 'needy' or want more from a person than to be on the phone or chatting online. Also there are other people out there...

Talk to him about it, but also realize you have to the potential to be with someone more convenient too.

If in doubt, there's no doubt.
You can't make a man stay and you can't make him go away.

If you can avoid being in a LDR, do so, but if it's too early and you're not ready to, still expect the worst.
I only say this because I don't encourage false hope.

If you both love each other, stick it out.
Love has no doubts.

Good luck my dear <3

[LDRgal]

Hey you know I'm in almost the same situation except its me that is abroad and its going to be 3 years till I'm able to move back home.

The thing is love, just picture the relationship... can you see yourself without him? Can you see a future together? You just need to ask yourself questions about the long run and see what answers you come up with, I did the same thing and its only been almost three months and I can actually say that I am hoplessly in love with him, even though we argue a lot, I honestly cast see a future without him, just like I said look at the long term.

Usually people like to take things as the come and not really look to the future but that's OK if you are seeing your partner a lot and can develop together but when it comes to an LDR, its harder to develop so looking in to the future wwould be a safe step.

Also think about doing this, as its something that worked for me, don't talk to him for a day or two, like completely cut him out with no contact, no Facebook stalking, no anything! And see how you feel after that I was ready to fly back to england just to tell him I love him because I missed him so much that day, but give it a go, you really don't have anything to loose
:)