[Fr_Chuck]

This is what dating is for, to find out about each other and if you have things in common.
You are finding out what is important to him, you need to pay attention to this.

[Lovelee]

I need to know that I am doing the right thing. My boyfriend and I have been on one hell of a roller coaster ride and I'm ready to get off. Yesterday was the last straw. I got a flat tire and I made the horrible mistake on calling him, he got so angry with me then he hung up the phone. He arrived in 10 minutes and boy was he pissed. So I asked him why he was so angry but he didn't answer until I asked him the third time, then he bit my head off and said I wasn't the problem. There was so much tension. I asked him to stop and I will manage but he got angrier and told me stop making trouble. The moment he was finished I drove off.
Later that night he called to apologize saying he was under a lot of stress and still is. There are too many inconsistencies in our relationship! One minute he is sooo in love wants marriage, kids the works. Another time he is moody and stressed out. I have stress too but I wouldn't take it out on him.
I really love this man but I feel like there is no other choice but to call it quits, am I doing the right thing here?

[Romefalls19]

No one can tell you what the right thing to do is. A lot of girls I know have had to call me to fix there car when it breaks down because their boyfriends won't come and do it. I'm not sticking up for him at all, but you mean to tell me you don't ever get angry when it's that time of the month?

[ilovcali]

Also, if this is the main thing, perhaps he just had a bad day? Maybe? And he did show up in 10 minutes despite the fact he was having a bad day.

--Cali

[liz28]

I read your other posts and it seems you kill yourself whether you should leave all the time. If you're sick of this ride, then leave. You are capable of making this decision because it seems this will always happen or come up. Is he still working 2 jobs to pay his debt and father medical bills? If his father is ill, then it can be eating him up and maybe he don't know how to express that. Sometimes when I am stress it turns into anger and I get frustrated easily but I learned to change that and he should do the same.

If your unhappy then go, but I think your both need better communication. It seems to be the only thing lacking unless you forgot to mention something else.

[Lovelee]

I read your other posts and it seems you kill yourself whether or not you should leave all the time. If you're sick of this ride, then leave. You are capable of making this decision because it seems this will always happen or come up. Is he still working 2 jobs to pay his debt and father medical bills? If his father is ill, then it can be eating him up and maybe he don't know how to express that. Sometimes when I am stress it turns into anger and I get frustrated easily but I learned to change that and he should do the same.

If your unhappy then go, but I think your both need better communication. It seems to be the only thing lacking unless you forgot to mention something else.

His father passed away in April so that's not what he is fussing about. He has a lot of things going on mainly because he needs to RELAX every once in a while. Is his desire to make money so strong that he is losing focus? This situation is unfortunate because he really is a nice guy, that's why its so hard for me to decide what to do. I'm miserable with him and miserable without him.

[Lovelee]

No one can tell you what the right thing to do is. A lot of girls I know have had to call me to fix there car when it breaks down because their boyfriends won't come and do it. I'm not sticking up for him at all, but you mean to tell me you don't ever get angry when it's that time of the month?

Romesfalls19 I always appreciate your advice, you do not sugar coat you just tell it like it is. But sometimes I feel so overwhelmed by all the things going on between us that I have gotten very sensative when it comes to him. I used to consider myself a strong person but now I'm turning into a cry baby and I'm at lost. This is his second blow up for the week, how many more am I to expect?

[Romefalls19]

Sit him down and have a calm rational conversation with him about how you are feeling and how you feel he is lashing out at you all the time. The trick here to keep it civil is do not make it seem like you are attacking him but rather informing him of how he feels. If you come off as attacking him you will be met with equal resistance as he will feel the need to defend himself aggressively. Please keep us all informed of what you decide

[margarita_momma]

Your best bet is an old trick that I use with my husband. When he has been in a "mood" for a few days, I have him a hot bath made with candles lit ready when he gets home. I make his favorite dinner and give him a shoulder and neck rub after he's done eating. While doing this I talk softly to him ask him if anything is bothering him. Believe it or not it works. He starts pouring out all the things that are bothering him and what is causing him to be so frustrated. If I don't get him relaxed then he clams up and hangs out in the garage by himself all night. He will snap at me when I ask him simple questions or requests. I have my mood swings too but I have learned to deal with them in my own way. Get your man relaxed and try to talk to him. If he doesn't want to at least talk out your problems, its time to take a break.

[Lovelee]

Your best bet is an old trick that I use with my husband. When he has been in a "mood" for a few days, I have him a hot bath made with candles lit ready when he gets home. I make his favorite dinner and give him a shoulder and neck rub after he's done eating. While doing this I talk softly to him ask him if anything is bothering him. Believe it or not it works. He starts pouring out all the things that are bothering him and what is causing him to be so frustrated. If I don't get him relaxed then he clams up and hangs out in the garage by himself all night. He will snap at me when I ask him simple questions or requests. I have my mood swings too but I have learned to deal with them in my own way. Get your man relaxed and try to talk to him. If he doesn't want to at least talk out your problems, its time to take a break.

Trying to get him to come over by me is a trick in itself

[talaniman]

Talaniman's responses to previous posts.

Don't give the person you dumped any false hope, with that friends crap. Let the guy get over you. If you care as you say.

Stick by your guns, if he can't handle the heat, get him out of the kitchen. There may be no easy way of doing this, but honesty is best.

If it ain't no fun now, I doubt if marriage will help!

KICK HIM TO THE CURB, and move ahead with your life and stop wasting your time on a flake who is in a hurry to go NOWHERE.

By Lovelee,
This is his second blow up for the week, how many more am I to expect?

As long as you stay together. You two don't communicate well, and don't work together at all. Its hard, but you can make it better by leaving him alone.

[margarita_momma]

Trying to get him to come over by me is a trick in itself

So your saying he doesn't even want to be around you? And why are you still with him? There are plenty of men out there that will treat you better than your boyfriend. If he doesn't want to communicate and work things out, then he is pretty much putting an end to the relationship himself.

[Lovelee]

Talaniman's responses to previous posts.




As long as you stay together. You two don't communicate well, and don't work together at all. Its hard, but you can make it better by leaving him alone.

I know communication is bad, I talk and talk but he doesn't seem to listen this is just so depressing I can hardly function.

[Lovelee]

[QUOTE=margarita_momma]So your saying he doesn't even want to be around you? And why are you still with him? There are plenty of men out there that will treat you better than your boyfriend. If he doesn't want to communicate and work things out, then he is pretty much putting an end to the relationship himself.[/QUOTE

Its so frustrating but my boyfriend is so caught up in making money that he hardly has time for himself. When he realizes that I'm going to end things he's all sweet, but like I said too many inconsistencies.

[margarita_momma]

Its so frustrating but my boyfriend is so caught up in making money that he hardly has time for himself. When he realizes that I'm going to end things he's all sweet, but like I said too many inconsistencies.[/QUOTE]

If he is only sweet to you when he thinks you're going to leave, then there is a big problem. Apparently money is more important to him right now than being in a loving, happy relationship with you. Maybe he needs a wake-up call. Leave him. Give it a little while and see if things change. If they don't and he still doesn't seem to care, then its time to move on. Don't stay in a relationship that you are miserable in. Happiness is so easy to achieve when its with the right person. If you are not happy, things either need to change or your need to change men! ;)

[jamie Cart]

This sounds too close to home. MAKE HIM LISTEN TO YOU, Tell him how its destroying your love for him, otherwise he will regret, big time.

[Lovelee]

Well just a few minutes ago we had a huge fight over the phone. Apparently he was calling me on my cell phone while I was driving but I honestly didn't hear it as it was on vibrate, then when I got home he accused me of deliberately not answering it. He told me he had my spear tire, but I just told him to keep it and that I'll get another one. Then we started yelling at each other, it was a mess. I told him that I am sick and tired of chasing him and he kept shouting "I love you too" but in a sarcastic "I want to get off the phone way". Then I hung up on him. Now here I am as angry and hurt as ever, he wouldn't even let me talk! This is not how I wanted things to end, I wanted to do this face to face but these days I'm an emotional wreck. I hate him and I want nothing more to do with him ever!

[talaniman]

I hate him and I want nothing more to do with him ever!

See how you feel in a week without him being in your life.

[Lovelee]

Two co-workers think I'm wrong and should apologize.

[talaniman]

So what??