[Metalhead11592]

My name is Alex and I'm 17 years old, I've had it rough since birth. My mother died in child birth and when my birth father found out she had passed he committed suicide. I've been raised by adopted parents and I really can't say I had it too rough but they got abusive since about late elementary school and middle school. Throughout my entire school experience I never had friends and I was constantly picked on, my first suicide attempt was when I was in about 3rd grade and I remember it ever so clearly. I've been through a cutting fase where I cut myself with a box cutter to the point where my theighs were almost completely covered with scars. Now I'm facing one of my toughest problems of all. My father is beating me and I'm dealing with so much stress from school and college applications and my girl friend. I'm trying to balance it all and I'm not sure I can handle much more. I've already had insane ideas how to kill myself but I'm trying not to think about it. I need to think of ways to get my mind off it.

[jmjoseph]

Please go to your school counselor. Life is hard sometimes, but it will get better. There is so much out there for you to experience. Please hang in there. May GOD bless you and keep you from harm. If ever you want someone to talk to, come here. Please promise us that you won't harm yourself.

[Clough]

Hi, Alex!

Have you tried calling a suicide prevention hotline and/or spoken with a professional counselor about the way that you feel and think, please?

Thanks!

[Metalhead11592]

I have talked to many people about this but they find that I'm not a threat to myself. But I haven't told them about the recent suidical thoughts I'm having and I don't feel comfotable telling them. Last time I shared information like that I ended up in a physc ward which messed me up so bad I felt more depressed than before

[Clough]

Hi again, Alex!

What do you think messed you up in the psychiatric ward, please?

Thanks!

[Fr_Chuck]

Do you have medication you are suppose to take and refuse to take it ?

[Metalhead11592]

I take anti depressants and the fact I was almost stabbed and that it was a horrible facility that had bad food which wasent always given to us. And yes I always take my medicine but I don't see anything help with the medicine.

[Clough]

Then, it might be time for a change of medications that you've been prescribed.

Would you see about having that done, please?

Thanks!

[Alty]

Metalhead, being 17 is tough. Heck, every age is tough, but you do have a lot on your plate for a 17 year old.

You shouldn't have to deal with all this alone. There are suicide hotlines, but they can only help you if you call and you're honest.

Also, there are many types of antidepressants, sometimes it takes trying a few different ones before you find one that works. Also keep in mind that many of them can take months before they actually start doing what they're supposed to.

You're also being abused, an no one has the right to do that to you. If your father is beating you then you need to tell someone. This needs to be stopped. You deserve a healthy living environment, this isn't it.

I can't tell you that life is going to be all peaches and roses, there are always going to be hard times, but there are also going to be good times.

You're almost 18, applying to college. Pretty soon you'll be on your own, you'll be able to get out from the home you're living in and maybe that will help you have a better outlook on life.

Don't give up, use the resources available to you. Okay?

[Clough]

Excellent post, Alty! I couldn't spread the "love" so soon again!

Thanks!

[Metalhead11592]

the problem is that the anti-depressants used to work for me, so it's that it randomly stops working?
and I have tried suicide hot lines but they don't believe me most of the time so I don't bother. They tell me someone who is as emotionally disturbed as I am should be crying or at least sound upset. I don't get upset easily its just weird. I feel like I'm getting emotionalized or however you say it. Like I tried cutting again for the first time in a year and it doesn't do much for me. But like now I'm really worried about if I need stitches or anything because it hasent stopped bleeding

[Clough]

What did you think of Altenweg's post please, Alex?

Thanks!

[Alty]

the problem is that the anti-depressants used to work for me, so its that it randomly stops working?
and i have tried suicide hot lines but they dont believe me most of the time so i dont bother. They tell me someone who is as emotionally disturbed as i am should be crying or at least sound upset. I dont get upset easily its just weird. I feel like i'm getting emotionalized or however you say it. like i tried cutting again for the first time in a year and it doesnt do much for me. But like now i'm really worried about if i need stitches or anything because it hasent stopped bleeding

Sweetie, you need to get help.

When did you cut yourself? How deep is the wound? If it won't stop bleeding then you need to see a doctor.

You said that your dad beats you, what about your mom? Do you have a teacher you trust, a pastor, priest, counselor, family member? Someone that can help you?

You deserve to get help and I truly hope that you do.

As for the antidepressants, most are used to correct a chemical imbalance in the brain. It could be that you need a higher dosage but you really need to talk to your doctor about that.

You need to take this into your own hands. It's your life, you need to get the help you need so you can live that life.

You deserve it.

We're here to help but there's only so much we can do. We can listen, we can give you advice, we can even help you find the help you need, but the rest is up to you and to the people you choose to trust with this. You need to find those people and you need to get help.

One thing I do know, the world is better with you in it. You're here for a reason, so choose life, figure out what you're meant to be, do, and do it!

[Metalhead11592]

I did it about twenty minutes ago and alt I really appreciate the concern and advice your giving me it means a lot. And its maybe about the length of my pinky finger nail

[Alty]

i did it about twenty minutes ago and alt i really appreciate the concern and advice your giving me it means a lot. and its maybe about the lenght of my pinky finger nail

I'm really worried about this cut.

How badly is it bleeding? Did you put pressure on it?

Sweetie, you need to get help for this. Is there a medi centre near you? Can your mom drive you or can someone else? I think you need to get this checked out.

As for the concern and advice, sweetie (hope you don't mind me calling you that) no appreciation necessary. All of us are here because we care about people, we want to help people. We're here for you. I want you to know that you have people to talk to. We're here. Okay?

[Metalhead11592]

My mums passed out drunk and my dad laughed me when I told him and now some water is coming out of the cut too with the blood

[Alty]

my mums passed out drunk and my dad laughed me when i told him and now some water is coming out of the cut too with the blood

That's probably plasma.

Did you put pressure on it?

I want you to get a towel, a clean one, and put firm pressure on the cut. No peaking, you're going to continue with firm pressure. If the blood soaks through that towel then put another one on top and continue with the pressure.

Is there anyone else that can drive you to the hospital?

[Alty]

Sweetie, are you okay?

Please let us know.

[Metalhead11592]

Sorry I'm tired all of a sudden I'm nodding in and out of sleep but I think I'll be OK

[Alty]

sorry im tired all of a sudden im nodding in and out of sleep but i think i'll be ok

Tired or woozy? There's a difference.

I'm really worried about you.

Please, take care of yourself.

Did you put pressure on it like I suggested?