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redhed35 · Oct 18, 2009, 08:12 AM

If its any help,you learn that you don't have to play games and just being yourself is all you have to do..

It took me a long time and many heartaches to learn that.

Having a full life and just being happy on your own has many benefits, and you would be amazed at how many date offers I had when I was just content and happy on my own.

dream11207 · Oct 18, 2009, 08:18 AM

All true

Well I guess I should have re worded the question.

"Why would a guy all of a sudden stop putting forth effort, when he had been doing everything right in the beginning, and then just stopped making contact/putting forth effort."

He really liked me at first. Then stopped calling/texting/emailing every other day like he was. Stopped making plans, etc.

rockie100 · Oct 18, 2009, 08:42 AM

There could be so many answers to this question. He could have gotten scared, his ex could have called him up, he could have depression, he is having money problems, you see I could go on and on. If you really want to know you could just simply ask him what's up. He might tell you the truth. Or, you could just drop it and move on. Thinking about why is a bit of a waste of time. It doesn't get you anywhere.

talaniman · Oct 18, 2009, 09:09 AM

The obvious answer to your question is he is doing something else more important than being with you. Probably with someone else.

So while your still interested his action say he is not.

Move beyond this, and stay out of the bed of new guys, you don't know very well, because again, its very obvious your interest is more than his, by a mile.

dream11207 · Oct 18, 2009, 10:25 AM

I took my time in getting to know him. We went on several dates, communicated often and really got to know each other before "getting in bed together." He played a disappearing act for a few weeks but I left him alone and let him figure out whatever was going on his head. Last night he texted me for the first time in two weeks and said he missed me and wants to hang out soon. I didn't respond.

I wish · Oct 18, 2009, 11:24 AM

Sounds like he only looks for you when it's convenient for him. Why be someone's booty call?

Just job on not giving him to him!

dream11207 · Oct 18, 2009, 11:33 AM

Yes, it does seem like he's only interestd when it works for him and that's not okay. I'm hoping by ignoring his text last night he will see that I am not always available to him and it may spark something in him to make him contact me more. Do you think my tactic will work?

He texted me saying he's out of town at a fam reunion but misses seeing me. We should hang out soon!

The text didn't really require a response... do you think my tactic will work?

I wish · Oct 18, 2009, 11:45 AM

It's not suppose to be a tactic. Leave him out of your life and find someone else who wants the same things as you.

dream11207 · Oct 18, 2009, 11:48 AM

I want him to want a relationship with me.. I know that sounds weird. I know he likes me but I want him to want a relationship, not just to be around when it works for him..

talaniman · Oct 18, 2009, 12:42 PM

I want him to want a relationship with me..

Are you ego tripping, or do you think you can make him want you. He's having a great time, and your obsessing. Something is very wrong with your thinking.

dream11207 · Oct 18, 2009, 01:48 PM

Ok you're right about me obsessing... it's because I actually like this guy. Ego trip, not hardly. I know he likes me/wants me/ could possibly love me... now it's about getting him to call more and act like a boyfriend.. guess ill have to wait for the time to be right for him

talaniman · Oct 18, 2009, 02:09 PM

Exactly, let him come to you in his own time, and fashion.

dream11207 · Oct 18, 2009, 02:17 PM

Ok but just one more thing from me over here obsessing okay!

I did wait for him to come to me and he did LAST NIGHT. He reached out to me via text saying he missed me and we should hang out soon. I did not respond, as advised by my two best girlfriends, and now I'm questioning if I should have ignored his text. Do you think it's okay that I did? After this answer.. im done obsessing

dream11207 · Nov 12, 2009, 08:27 AM

He went from texting, emailing, and calling just the right amount... taking me on great dates, asking how I am, etc. Once I finally slept with him he stopped making effort! Now he just texts me on Friday/Saturday nights to see if we can meet up. After his most recent text on a Friday night I ignored it and sent him a message the next day asking him to please call me in advance so we can get together.. this Wednesday morning he sent me a Hey how you been? Message.. which is better than a Friday night I suppose, I responded and asked how hed been said it's been a while since I've seen/talked to you and NO RESPONSE. What do you think? He was so great in the beginning and then nothing. We're super compatible and I really like him.

tickle · Nov 12, 2009, 09:56 AM

Sounds like after he got the old probverbally roll in the hay, after wining and dining and showing that he really really cared for you, he just moved on.

Tick

dream11207 · Nov 12, 2009, 09:57 AM

And him still messaging me (on Wednesday this time instead of a Friday night) means he's just still trying to keep me around for another roll around probably right?

tickle · Nov 12, 2009, 10:07 AM

Originally Posted by dream11207

and him still messaging me (on wednesday this time instead of a friday night) means hes just still tryin to keep me around for another roll around probably right?

Yes, you are probably right. I would just not bother with this guy, dream. He is a player.

Tick

jaime90 · Nov 12, 2009, 10:38 AM

He got what he wanted from you and now he's probably not that interested anymore, except to keep you around for sex. Leave it lie, and don't keep going out with this guy- he's a jerk. Next time around when you date again- don't jump into sex because the guy is charming, you could end up in this situation again, and with a reputation that you're an easy sleazy girl, if you know what I mean.

2ndTime · Nov 12, 2009, 11:22 AM

I agree with all the others. This jerk is using you for sex. Stop communicating with him and stop seeing him in the future because, if you want a serious relationship from this guy, it sounds like he is not interested in it.

redhed35 · Nov 12, 2009, 11:42 AM

Is this the same guy from your other thread?