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jessnmike · Oct 15, 2009, 03:44 PM

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for over 3 years now. We know we are going to get married one day but didn't know when. One day we where in his house and I finally picked the date. But the BIG Problem is his parnets. They don't care for me too much because I don't like them bossing him around and I'll stand up to them. I was thinking about making a christmas card for them. All pretty and writing th

jessnmike · Oct 15, 2009, 03:48 PM

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for over 3 years now. We know we are going to get married one day but didn't know when. One day we where in his house and I finally picked the date. But the BIG Problem is his parnets. They don't care for me too much because I don't like them bossing him around and I'll stand up to them. I was thinking about making a christmas card for them.The whole family well be there so they will all find out at the same time. All pretty and writing the date on it and giving it to them then. Our wedding over 18 months aways. Should we do it or should we do it another way?

Alty · Oct 15, 2009, 03:51 PM

The Christmas card idea is nice but, if you think they won't take this well it's probably not best to do it during a holiday like Christmas.

Why not have them over for coffee and cake, tell them that you have decided to get married, ask them to be a part of the big day, help with some of the plans and let them know that you're excited about marrying their son and that you love him very much.

It's hard to let go of a child, even an adult child. Some parents will do anything to stop that from happening, but, most times, when they realize that this relationship is for good, they come around.

Just make sure to include them, that should smooth the road for you a bit. :)

Just Dahlia · Oct 15, 2009, 04:18 PM

Looks like you got interupted:confused: Always be honest, they might not like it happening but at least you can hold your head high.

If they boss him around does that mean he is young? If so, you might want to wait for a while, there really is no rush to getting married. It's the same as being with some one you love without the paperwork.

There used to be a commitment issue (many years ago) but it doesn't seem that way anymore. A lot of people think 'if I marry him/her than they are mine and I am theirs' If that is true, there is no need to rush, it will still be the same.:)

jessnmike · Oct 15, 2009, 04:30 PM

Originally Posted by Just Dahlia

Looks like you got interupted:confused: Always be honest, they might not like it happening but at least you can hold your head high.

If they boss him around does that mean he is young? If so, you might want to wait for a while, there really is no rush to getting married. It's the same as being with some one you love without the paperwork.

There used to be a commitment issue (many years ago) but it doesn't seem that way anymore. A lot of people think 'if I marry him/her than they are mine and I am theirs' If that is true, there is no need to rush, it will still be the same.:)

Im 22 Years old and he is 23year old. But by the time we get married he be almost 25 and ill just make 24 .

jessnmike · Oct 15, 2009, 04:33 PM

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for over 3 years now. We know we are going to get married one day but didn't know when. One day we where in his house and I finally picked the date. But the BIG Problem is his parnets. They don't care for me too much because I don't like them bossing him around and I'll stand up to them. I was thinking about making a christmas card for them.The whole family well be there so they will all find out at the same time. All pretty and writing the date on it and giving it to them then. Our wedding over 18 months aways. Should we do it or should we do it another way?

jmjoseph · Oct 15, 2009, 04:53 PM

How about sitting down with them and expressing your plans, and thoughts. I think that they probably would get angry with the group disclosure. Do you think that they would be afraid to make a scene in a group? Don't bet on it.

If these people are going to be your family, you need to all get along. Feuding with your in-laws is a huge waste of time and energy. Plus, you might need a babysitter some time in the future.

Some parents think that NOBODY is good enough for their precious little baby, but it's really not their choice now is it?

Personally, I think that it's the boyfriend's responsibility to let his parents know that he's grown now, and he wants to stand on his own two feet.

Good luck to you and yours.

Fr_Chuck · Oct 15, 2009, 05:11 PM

First please stop starting a new thread on the same question, I have merged them.

If you want to add more info merely "answer" your own question.

You have not spplied a lot of info, do his parents live close, do you visit often,

But of course you don't do it in a christmas card, that is totally childish. You , if you live close, go over together and he tells them. If you don't live close you pick up the phone and tell them. Much better than them finding out from the parents of one of his friends or somewhere else.

Next I will address something you did not ask about, it is not your place to "stand" up to his parents for him, either he does, or you and he discusses it when you get home.
Esp if you are in their home. That is very improper