you just got to find some balance.
right now, its worse than before... because now he's in control. You are still struggling with your wanting to be there for him... and at the same time you are fighting your instincts to call. Basically it means you get the ulcer worrying.
the best case scenario when dating is that you both are on the same page. I think the most healthy relationships are those where the two INDEPENDENT people are still independent while dating.. they keep their friends and hobbies and interests and their own personal time... they just also fit in time to be together.
now this isn't a fit all. Some people find other people and they both like to cling together like they are falling off a cliff. To each their own. Each person needs to find their own kind of "weird".
but here's the point of the whole mess... you guys are not on the same page. To make it work, you need to compromise. Right now compromise probably means more like you doing all the concessions. Oh well. Sucks to be you. =)
so... here's your plan for happiness.
1) make it about you. It isn't about keeping him. Its about making you happy. He might be a fantastic guy and a great catch. But the number one problem people run into when in a relationship is that they lose perspective of what is important. Your happiness is your primary goal... not keeping the other one happy.
2) that said, we ALL need to bend a little unless we want to be kicked to the curb. So... you DO need to back off a little and give him some room most likely. If you find yourself fretting about him... well stop it. Didn't you read rule number one?? I know... I know... its not that easy. It is, but it isn't. But it is. Drop all pretense, don't play games. If he's got other plans get over it. Healthy people have diverse interests. Now if he ignores you until he's bored or in need of a "chick fix", then there's a problem. Again, there needs to be a balance. Only you can tell when you are spending more time frustrated than happy.
3) make the time you spend with him worth it. This doesn't mean go overboard. But if you are wanting to spend three hours on the phone talking about the latest OPI color you just are in love with, stop it. Call a girlfriend for that. When you are with him he should be about you and you about him for that time. Have fun. Laugh a lot. Leave all of the hum drum stuff for someone else. Half of the fun of a relationship is the newness and discovery. And I say that having been happily married for six years. I'm still learning things about my wife... doesn't mean there isn't some monotony after a time... but again, make the time together worth something... which usually means don't try to spend every minute together.
4) ah hell... I'm too tired to come up with a number four rule for happiness. Lets just call it flowers, football, kissing, movies, food, pictures, and laughter. And football. =) I'm a guy. Whatdya expect? Look don't spend hours trying to figure this out. Make it up as you go... and when you make a mistake don't do it again... unless it was fun as hell and worth it.
make him make you laugh. A lot.
hope this nonsense helps.
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