[noble123]

What would you do if you had a person at work who is always mimicking you in anything?

I was going to forget about this man at work who keeps on doing it but he just did it again.

Its over any slightest thing like I am in the office with a black shawl and he asked if I was cold. I said 'a little' and he repeated me with a (sigh) 'a little'?. and walked off..

He use to do it constantly over anything I said, he would persecute me for negative things (i.e. my expressions or something for being bad). Any actions I made i.e. on a random chance if I was talking to someone and playing with my hair or stationary he would watch and mimick it looking troubled?. Whats going on with him?

Also, one day he said I looked unhappy or sad or something and I calmly said he always has something to say. He immediately became defensive and started to call me defensive instead! I didn't say a word. My colleauge was unaware of this banter but saw his diposition at the time and asked him if he was OK as he looked very troubled (or something to this effect). He told me he was trying to be friendly but anyway, he stopped talking to me for days? Strange, strange, strange.


Any input? Thanks.

[adam_89]

I thnk he may have some issues he needs to work on. Like the right way to interact with people. Maybe that is just the way of him trying to converse and he doesn't know he is being mean or annoying. Have you talked to your boss about it if it is really bothering you.

[Gemini54]

Often the best thing to do with people like this is to totally ignore them.

He makes comments to you and mimics you because he can see that it's getting a reaction. So, stop reacting. Practice your poker face and behave as if you're totally uninterested in him. If you have to deal with him professionally, make it direct and straightforward. Don't respond to any needling or belittling comments. Just act as if they were not said.

Starving him of your responses might make his behavior escalate for a while, so be prepared for this.

As a precaution, I would be recording any interactions that you have with him - good or bad. I don't think talking to your boss would achieve anything except perhaps make matters worse at this stage. But make sure you write down everything that happens between you and this guy anyway. You never know when you may need it.

[noble123]

He makes comments to you and mimics you because he can see that it's getting a reaction. So, stop reacting.

Hi thank you.

I actually don't react, just asked him the once and then left it cause he was being rude. I don't think he realises his actions, as is common with human intrinsic behaviour. Or it may appear in jest, but seem to be sarcastic like the other person said he may genuinely not know how to react with people all the time. Like when he mutters something negative about me when he is walking off.

Yesterday I had a scarf on and jacket I was un well and he came and immediately said 'you should take that off it doesn't look professional' and then started to talk to my colleague and continue to make fun of something else.

Any way, I took off my coat immediately and he was so shocked. He looked very worried and said no I didn't mean... went away came back looking worried. I mean, I just said 'well its warm now anyway' (but he couldn't her that) and ignored him, cause he was fretting.

I mean?!

[Gemini54]

It still occurs to me that he's best ignored.

Sounds as if you've got the right idea - he could just be one of those people that doesn't understand body language and people's 'cues'.

Best thing - don't focus on him and don't react when he focuses on you.

[redhed35]

I'm just going to throw this out there,but could he fancy you?

And his way of trying to 'talk' to you is make fun of you?

Not pleasant for you,but from your post after he has made his comment it sounds like he shows remorse..

A agree with the other posters to a point,in recording his behaviour... have you considered just asking him if he has a problem with your work or with you?

Confront him.