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zacho6124 · May 3, 2009, 06:14 PM

My girlfriend of 29 months broke up with me on Thursday.. I know that a lot of it was my fault. I'm having a hard time absorbing this sudden decision. I still love and care about her more than anything in the world! She says she just wants some time away. The main reason I think we broke up was because we never really talked the last 6 months. I mean we talked, but never like we used to. Now it was mainly about our relationship and I think we both got annoyed. We used to talk about everything.. absolutely everything and I was never drawn to her more! If we are able to talk again like we used to.. do you think that she will come back to me? If so how long will this take?

liz28 · May 3, 2009, 06:23 PM

No, talking might not work but if you realize that was a problem 6 months why didn't you do something then?

zacho6124 · May 8, 2009, 10:10 AM

Well its been exactly a week. I recently found out that she was planning to break up with me before prom. The thing is is that prom was great! We slept together, had sex, did everything we have enjoyed.. she said she loved me. She had said she loved me every day until the breakup! Was I being used? I'm getting over the whole break up as of now.. but still find myself thinking about her all the time. She has talked to me a little bit and looks and smiles at me in the hallway. I have been giving her space and the freedom she needs.. the freedom I need too.. are things heading in the right direction? Her friends say she still cares about me a lot.. I care about her too.. are things taking a turn into the right direction?

kctiger · May 8, 2009, 10:47 AM

The right direction? It depends upon what your definition of "right" is. I can't really answer this .You are doing the right thing by giving her space. Continue to do that, and live your life youngin'. You are in high school for God's sake, enjoy yourself and don't be fawing over a WOMAN!!

Romefalls19 · May 8, 2009, 10:57 AM

Damn! You beat me to it. I want to know his definition of "right" direction

Triysle · May 8, 2009, 11:00 AM

I think for him, the right direction right now leads to them getting back together. Let me go ahead and put up a few detour signs...

OK kid, time for reality. You need to realize that this person is only a part of your life, not your entire life. What you are going through is normal, and everyone on here has felt the same way you do right now. Your best bet is to let her live her life, and in the process live your own. Don't worry about getting back together, because then you will end up changing your life and losing sight of what you want.

Go hang out with some friends, and if you don't have that many friends join a team, band, or club. The more confident you are in yourself, and the less you care about controlling the situation, the happier you will be.

Read my signature. It might help put things in perspective for you.

~ Tee

zacho6124 · May 8, 2009, 11:29 AM

Well my view of right direction is getting back together.. all of her friends say she just needs to see that life is better with me.. see both sides of the hill and to see that my side is greener. They say she that she's says she cares and loves me.. I don't know

kctiger · May 8, 2009, 11:30 AM

So... she likes you enough to break up with you to "test" life and make sure there isn't anything better out there... sound right to you?

Romefalls19 · May 8, 2009, 11:32 AM

Here puppy? Come on, come on... Never mind there is a better puppy next door.

zacho6124 · May 8, 2009, 05:02 PM

OK.. you.. I want her more than anything.. "but i told her i agree with it all.. sorry if i hurt you in anyway".. and said goodbye until you realize what it is you want.. sound good?

Survivor07 · May 8, 2009, 05:49 PM

No. Why are you saying you're sorry?

Goodbye until you realize what it is you want... that sounds like this:

I'll be here, always, waiting for you to return because I have no life of my own and no one else will want to go out with me.

I realize you miss your girlfriend. I'm not being mean. Just wanted you to know what that really sounds like... to a girl.

talaniman · May 9, 2009, 05:45 AM

Just leave her alone, and get your own life together. Break ups happen all the time and you have to learn to deal with it, and keep your dignity and self respect.

"but i told her i agree with it all.. sorry if i hurt you in anyway".. and said goodbye until you realize what it is you want.. sound good?

She may not know what she wants, but she has made it clear what she doesn't want, and that's you.

That's why you don't deliver those sappy, corny love notes, to get someone back.

zacho6124 · May 10, 2009, 11:01 AM

Threads merged again, its not necessary to start a new question, when responding to your feedback. Just scroll down to the Answer This Question, box

You.. so my ex's friend told me to "forget about her.. to forget everythign that happened and move on. she is never coming back to you" and that's what I am doing.. I feel like she used me.. this is what she told her friend:

"she said for prom that she didnt wanna break up because she didnt want to find a new date and then you would hate the guy. she didnt want to have to put him through what she has been with me."
"what made her annoyed was the letters. going to her house and work. talking to her on facebook. talking to people in the lobby about it." (all of this in the first week after breakup)

You the first week was terrible.. I was crazy because I wanted her back so bad.. instead of talking to her I talked to her friends.. and now I can't trust them because they told her everything.. the friend says she is never coming back no matter what. With no communication and space will she come back to me? I mean idc about a relationship anymore.. I just want her in my life.. after awhile will she talk to me? What do you think? This is so hard right now:(

talaniman · May 10, 2009, 11:37 AM

You really should stop acting like an immature kid and accept that this is over and learn to cope with your feelings like a mature adult.

You screwed up, and now you must really show yourself you can do better. It may not get her back in your life, but may help you to leave her alone, and rebuild your own life without her.

IWHO · May 10, 2009, 08:36 PM

I know this is going to be hard, but I think you need to back off, give her time, and MAYBE she will let you know what happened... going to her friends for answers won't help... because you don't know if the information is coming from her or them... sorry, but I think you will just have to wait this one out...

chuff · May 10, 2009, 08:58 PM

The friends are right. She knew you were getting dumped, but needed you for prom so she kept you around. Once that was done, she didn't need you so she dumped you. It's a hard lesson to learn about women at your age, but it's true. She's not coming back, so I would back off her friends and start loving yourself more then anything because you deserve it and she does not.

IWHO · May 10, 2009, 09:07 PM

Originally Posted by chuff

start loving yourself more then anything because you deserve it and she does not.

Chuff is right...

Gemini54 · May 10, 2009, 09:27 PM

Sadly, if she doesn't want to be with you anymore, there is nothing you can do about it.

It's hard and it hurts, but you have to live with the uncertainty that she may not contact you again. Your life does not depend on her - don't let her make you look like a fool again.

Try and behave with maturity and restraint and quit the texting.

IWHO · May 10, 2009, 10:00 PM

Chuff is right...

Comments on this post
chuff agrees:... As Always.<<<<<<HEY! Can you do that?! Lmaoooooo:D

I wish · May 29, 2009, 04:12 PM

I'm sorry to hear about your situation, but you're grasping at straws. If she still had feelings for you and ONLY wanted space, she would not have gone out with another guy. She would have been by herself, reflecting on her life.

While she's out having fun with other guys, you're sitting at home disecting all her signs. The fact that she went with another guy means that her feelings for you have changed. You're still in the early stages of the break up, so you're still twisting all her signs into her still having feelings for you.

I know this is very difficult for you to hear, but you're just dragging out your pain and suffering. You need to let her go and move on with your life. Maybe you did have true love before, but people's feelings change. Asking for a break is kind of a lighter way of breaking up, but in fact it just lead you on.

If she comes back, then she comes back, but there's no point putting your life on hold and continue to torture yourself.