[CGM91]

I have been dating this girl who is 16 years old, while I am 18 years old. I am currently in college while she is in grade 11 high school. We have been dating for more then a year now and I am just wondering about a few things.

I have had some trouble with her flirting with other guys in the past, she has gotten better but I notice she still has some slip ups and it hurts me. I was on Facebook a little while ago and I was just looking at one of her pages and she left a comment on one of her "Summer flings" pictures. It read "hey hottie! how are you and (insert her name) I miss you <3." Supposedly her summer fling (before she met me) just broke up with his girlfriend and she was just being nice. But I have been trouble getting over it, is something wrong with me?

Just recently some guy in her class asked her to come over to his house and watch a movie with him. She said yes because he is supposedly a shy, awkward dude and he got the nerve to ask her. I was pissed off when I heard this from her, I immediately told her that I was uncomfortable with this and she said "I don`t have to go if you don't want me to." I felt bad but I was still mad that she actually said yes.

She is working two jobs and she has high school to deal with while I am working one job and have college to deal with. We don't see each other very much, we didn't even see each other over the long weekend (thanksgiving weekend.. I am Canadian). We had plans for tomorrow but she canceled them to go with her friend to her friends grandparents house for Thanksgiving. She said "I already had the plans laid out and you can't cancel them." Unfortunately she has canceled our plans before and did today to see her friend.

I don't know what to think about this situation, am I over reacting? It seems like everything even the small things tick me off and I get mad at her. I don't know why. I love her very much, I would just like an opinion on how I should be going about all this.

Thanks -

Chris.

[amicon]

Have a serious conversation about your relationship. At 16 she s still quite young. Do you get angry because you feel you can't trust her?

[CGM91]

Have a serious conversation about your relationship. At 16 she s still quite young. Do you get angry because you feel you can't trust her?

I trust her, I get upset because she knows what I am comfortable with and seems to be going against it with no regard for my feelings.

[amicon]

That's why the two of you need to talk and find a solution that you re both comfortable with.

[CGM91]

Thats why the two of you need to talk and find a solution that you re both comfortable with.

Hm.

[CGM91]

My girlfriend is kind of an "Attention Seeker" per say, and she likes to be looked at. I don't mind if other guys look at her, but she tends to over exaggerate her bra size and buys bra's too big for her. When she bends over you can easily see her whole breast. I don't mind guys checking her out but I don't like that she is practically flashing them.

I don't know how to bring this topic up nicely with her? Or should I even bother?

[kctiger]

I wouldn't trust her. She seems to enjoy attention. Re-read your original question and then tell me, objectively if possible, how you would answer this question if another person asked it.

Read the signs man. You already have trust issues with her and regardless of how much you like her, it will effect your behavior. I would be gone. People like to say, "Have a serious talk with her," but you know what? Sometimes actions speak louder than words... hers do, and I think it is high time you paid attention to them.

I trust her, I get upset because she knows what I am comfortable with and seems to be going against it with no regard for my feelings.

This should be a pretty big hint to you. I think this answers any questions you may have.

[I wish]

If so many small things can piss you off, then imagine when things get serious?

I'd say leave each other alone and meet new people.

[s_cianci]

Ultimately you need to decide whether you're comfortable with things the way they are or not ; that's your call to make. I always like to tell people to go with their gut instinct ; if it seems wrong, then it probably is. Keep in mind that you won't and can't change her ; she is who she is. If you're willing and able to deal with what currently is, then fine. If not, then it's time for you to break it off tactfully but firmly.

[s_cianci]

I wouldn't trust her. She seems to enjoy attention. Re-read your original question and then tell me, objectively if possible, how you would answer this question if another person asked it.

This is a good tactic to employ.

[CGM91]

Interesting.

She is a pretty good girlfriend but just inexperienced with relationships. I am thinking if I wait it out and try to guide her it will get better. And in a way it is getting better.

[talaniman]

Young fellow, it takes a special kind of secure guy to deal with a young girl who is exploring her own emerging sexuality, and the effects it has on other guys. You either get over your jealousy, and let her grow, which means putting up with her antics for attention, Or get some one who is further along the life line, as she is still in high school, and smelling herself.

All you can do is tell her (gently of course) to respect you, and your relationship, and see if she does, or can at 16.

Don't you remember how you were at 16? I doubt she will be much different. You want a mature relationship, get a mature partner, I'm sure they are out there. But don't expect her to go along with all your feelings, or wants, she may not see things that you do. Not at 16.

[CGM91]

I seem to not be able to PM you talaniman, due to my shortage in post count.

Since my other thread was deleted, can you answer my other question as well?

----

My girlfriend buys bra's too big, and when she bends over her whole breast is exposed. It bothers me, how should I tell her to reveal herself with appearing like a prick? Or should I bother?

[CGM91]

Cover herself up* <- I can't edit my own post either :p

[CGM91]

Currently I am 17 years old and turning 18 in a few days, my girlfriend is 15 and turning 16 on December 5th.

She doesn't seem to have any symptoms but she seems to be about a week late or so.

Advice, Information etc.. Would be very appreciated.

*Edit

I am from Canada, Ontario. The age of consent was moved to 16 last year I believe.

[Survivor07]

The authorities would have to be contacted to pursue charges against you.

I'm from the U.S. If you were here, you would not be charged unless you got her pregnant after you turned 18.

I do not know Canadian law, but hopefully someone will answer your question soon.

Just get a pregnancy test to ease your mind AND practice safe sex or better yet, abstinence until you both are old enough to not get into trouble with the law over having sex and are capable of raising a child. Good luck to you

[CGM91]

IF she is pregnant, I am definitely considering abortion. We both have a lot going for us and a child would be over bearing at the moment.

Do abortion clinics cost money? And if so how much?

[justcurious55]

Hm, that's nice that you're considering abortion. What about her?

Why not figure out if she is or is not pregnant before you even start worrying about adoption or keeping it. It might not even be something you end up needing to consider right now

[CGM91]

hm, that's nice that you're considering abortion. what about her?

why not figure out if she is or is not pregnant before you even start worrying about adoption or keeping it. it might not even be something you end up needing to consider right now

I like to think in the future so I can prepare myself and whoever else and make the most intellectual and ethical choice I can.

And yes, she is going to take a pregnancy test and I hope we don't see the "+++++" but if we do I would like a back up plan.

I know at 15/16 your period is not 100&#37; regular as last month she was a week later for her period. It could be the same in this case, I surely hope so. I have definitely learned my lesson however. We are going to wait till she is 16 and then she is going to get on B/C asap. But speaking in the present, does anyone know how much Abortion Clinics cost? Are they covered in your Health Care for Canada?

[Survivor07]

Before you start thinking abortion, get the pregnancy test. You could save yourself all this stress.

Remember, birth control is not 100 percent effective, doubling up methods such as her being on the pill and you using a condom is a suggestion, because you obviously do not want children.