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profmac777 · Nov 2, 2006, 12:59 PM

:confused: I have known my girlfriend since I was a junior and she was a freshman in high school. She really liked me back then and I didn't really give her too much attention because I had a girlfriend. Anyway, I came to find that I had fallen in love with her over the past seven years, and I really felt like she was the one. We have been dating since last April, and things have gone really quite well. We both really love each other. Anyway, she broke up with me in July, and we got back together after three days. I was freaking miserasble without her, and I didn't know what to do with myself. She said she didn't have the same feelings for me, and then ended up telling me that she did, but she was just scared, but knew that I would never intentionally hurt her. Anyway, a week ago Monday, she told me that she wanted to take a break, and that she wanted some time and space. I was freaking out, because I love this girl so much. Not only is she my girlfriend... she is my best friend. Anyway, she says that she loves me , but sometimes she doesn't see us having a future. I don't see how that is possible... we love each other so much and we get along really well. We just really go together great. It has been the hardest week of my life, and I have had so much trouble not contacting her. I miss getting her text messages throughout the day, and being able to see her at night. It feels as if the joy has been sucked out of my life. I hate that feeling. I feel so empty. I have not eaten much, but have been getting better. I have heard from a number of people that I should kind of play her hot and cold, and not call her much, if at all. I freaking hate games, though... when we broke up in July and I went and hung out with her and her friends, and I wasn't paying full attention to her, and heaven forbid, I hugged one of her friends who had helped me deal with it... and she just lost it. She started crying... and she realized that she wanted me back. I just love this girl to death... and I want to marry her one day. But, I don't control her at all, and I treat her really well. Does a guy really need to not treat his girlfriend so well, in order to keep her interested... I just don't get it... and I'm dying to know if we're going to get back together eventually... I have had a number of people tell me that I have a lot to offer, and that I should see other people during this time. But, we haven't broken up, and I don't want to... so I have no interest in seeing other people.. . What should I do... we have hung out twice as friends and it's hard to not treat her like my girlfriend, but I want her in my life... I hate that there's no resolution on the situation.. are we broken up or not? How long do I give her before I ask? How long is long enough when a girl needs time and space... I don't want to hurt her by hanging out with other people... Please help me out... I want her in my life.. and I love her more than even my own life, but I don't know what to do. I can tell that she is having a tough time throughout this all, too.. . I know there is no other guy involved.. she just said that she isn't sure if she's ready to be this committed, and although we've talked about getting married, it would still be a few years away, so I don't get it... I can't picture her with anyone else... I think if she started dating some other guy, I would have to not see her.. because it would make me want to kill the guy... help!:confused:

Krs · Nov 3, 2006, 03:34 AM

COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY.
Talk
Talk and
More talk with her.
Come to a mutual of decission of where you both stand and what you want in life.

talaniman · Nov 3, 2006, 06:43 AM

This love you are in, is not healthy at all, and you need to decide if the two of you are on the same page and want the same things in life. Love is not misery, and just my take, I think you have given so much that you have lost yourself and who you are. Not good. To stay in this relationship without working out your own issues will be a big mistake. Work on yourself and slow this train way down. Find yourself.

profmac777 · Nov 3, 2006, 07:25 PM

Can a guy and girl actually be friends after they have dated for six months? Is it possible to go back and just be friends? How can I, as she needs a break, "turn" those feelings off? Is it even possible?

imation · Nov 3, 2006, 09:00 PM

Well is it definitely possible, I did just that about 2 years ago... girlfriend and I had been together just over 7 months and we broke it off, it was hard for about... oh well I don't know... a few months, but I assure you, you will be friends again in the end. She and I now talk a lot and there's no weird silences or awkwardness, so hang in there it'll be OK sooner or later
As for turing off your feelings... don't think about it, get out and have a blast

talaniman · Nov 4, 2006, 10:58 AM

The feelings will be always be there, but you learn over time how to deal with it. Friendship depends on you two.

profmac777 · Nov 4, 2006, 06:20 PM

I have known my girlfriend since I was a junior and she was a freshman in high school. She really liked me back then and I didn't really give her too much attention because I had a girlfriend. Anyway, I came to find that I had fallen in love with her over the past seven years, and I really felt like she was the one. We have been dating since last April, and things have gone really quite well. We both really love each other. Anyway, she broke up with me in July, and we got back together after three days. I was freaking miserasble without her, and I didn't know what to do with myself. She said she didn't have the same feelings for me, and then ended up telling me that she did, but she was just scared, but knew that I would never intentionally hurt her. Anyway, a week ago Monday, she told me that she wanted to take a break, and that she wanted some time and space. I was freaking out, because I love this girl so much. Not only is she my girlfriend... she is my best friend. Anyway, she says that she loves me , but sometimes she doesn't see us having a future. I don't see how that is possible... we love each other so much and we get along really well. We just really go together great. It has been the hardest week of my life, and I have had so much trouble not contacting her. I miss getting her text messages throughout the day, and being able to see her at night. It feels as if the joy has been sucked out of my life. I hate that feeling. I feel so empty. I have not eaten much, but have been getting better. I have heard from a number of people that I should kind of play her hot and cold, and not call her much, if at all. I freaking hate games, though... when we broke up in July and I went and hung out with her and her friends, and I wasn't paying full attention to her, and heaven forbid, I hugged one of her friends who had helped me deal with it... and she just lost it. She started crying... and she realized that she wanted me back. I just love this girl to death... and I want to marry her one day. But, I don't control her at all, and I treat her really well. Does a guy really need to not treat his girlfriend so well, in order to keep her interested... I just don't get it... and I'm dying to know if we're going to get back together eventually... I have had a number of people tell me that I have a lot to offer, and that I should see other people during this time. But, we haven't broken up, and I don't want to... so I have no interest in seeing other people.. . What should I do... we have hung out twice as friends and it's hard to not treat her like my girlfriend, but I want her in my life... I hate that there's no resolution on the situation.. are we broken up or not? How long do I give her before I ask? How long is long enough when a girl needs time and space... I don't want to hurt her by hanging out with other people... Please help me out... I want her in my life.. and I love her more than even my own life, but I don't know what to do. I can tell that she is having a tough time throughout this all, too.. . I know there is no other guy involved.. she just said that she isn't sure if she's ready to be this committed, and although we've talked about getting married, it would still be a few years away, so I don't get it... I can't picture her with anyone else... I think if she started dating some other guy, I would have to not see her.. because it would make me want to kill the guy... help!

imation · Nov 5, 2006, 01:08 AM

OK firstly calm down, take a chill pill.
Instead of being all 'what do I do what do I do? ' why don't you try being more, what does she want me to do? Now, 90%percent of the time when people ignore someone, its because they want attention from them, crazy I know but its true. So is she talking to you at all? Does she hang out with other people? Does she just have a busy shedual and can't keep up with the relationship at the moment?
These are all the questions you should be asking yourself, you need to figure out what is behind her not wanting to make the commitment...
One possible reason is that there isn't any excitement left in the relationship, no sweeping her off her feet or filling her room from floor to ceiling with colourful balloons, no romantic dinners set up in a park as you casually walk past pretending not to know anything about it...
Wheres the spark? Give her spark, and then maybe she'll come back to you. But if she doesn't come back to you, and she see's another guy, don't go nuts lol no matter how hard it is, don't go nut. Buy yourself a punching bag and a bench press and go nuts on that, not him.
I hope I helped.

talaniman · Nov 5, 2006, 08:12 AM

If your in high school then marriage is out of the question especially with someone who isn't ready for it. I also think that your view of this relationship is not hers, but you refuse to see things from her point of view. Back off and stop pressing this poor, confused girl with you aspirations that she has told you she is not ready for. Slow your train down and let her breath while you get your head together. You should be having fun and not try to plan your whole future by what YOU want, and until you realise your expectations are overwhelming her then she will stay confused, and you will push her away.

andrewcocke · Nov 5, 2006, 03:19 PM

If I were you, Id just let her go. Its clear she really doesn't know what she wants.
She wants time and space, give it to her. Im not trying to be cold hearted, but you both are still very young, and new people will come, and they will go.

Ive been in your shoes before, so I know what its like. I actually married my high school sweetheart when I was very young. A year after we were married, she just approached me out of the blue and said she wants to start seeing other people. I was devistated. So yes, I know what you are going through, but you have to finally just sit down, and realize that she doenst want to be with you, and if you continue to insist that she stay with you, she will eventually give in, and you are just setting yourself up for another heart ache.

Just let her go. Don't bother her, don't do anything to make her jeolous, just move on and be done with it.

mastone · Feb 21, 2007, 06:23 PM

She needs "time and space"? That probably means that she needs "time" to find somebody else and "space" to do it in. I don't buy the excuses. If she loves you, then what's the problem?