[Pure Suga]

Wow golden girl, that was deep. Very emotional story behind this,I enjoyed your post and I agree with you totally.

[Hot Cocoa]

Hi everyone,

My user name is Hot Cocoa and I joined this forum today. I am from West Africa and live in Los Angeles. To answer your question BrownDeceit, before I came to live in the States, I was OK with my skin color, I am a rich dark chocolate complexion. But since I came here things have changed after an incident few months ago. I was shopping on Hollywood Blvd and a black guy came to me and wanted to sell me CDs. I told him I wasn't interested and the next thing he was following me around yelling "black and ugly" The street was really busy and everbody was looking at me. I felt so bad and realised that dark skin is like a curse here in the States especially in the black community. Funny enough white guys seem to find me very attractive and exotic as I also speak French (I am dating a white guy) However, I feel the urge to be lighter. During summer I used bio claire after reading all the posts on that product but it thinned by skin and gave me an unvenen complexion... Yesterday, after reading some posts on 55H+ I ordered the glycerin, soap, and lotion but I am not even sure it's going to work on me as I am really dark :( Anyway, I think this forum is the best place for me to be as members are not judgemental and try to help out. Thanks for this excellent thread BrownDeceit because it's what encouraged me to join askmehelpdesk.

[Pure Suga]

Hey Vanillawanna be, not here to judge, because everyone's entitled to their own opinion, freedom of speech, but I have to say this: How in the world could you say that dark skinned people look dirty"? I just think that's so deregatory, it sounds like something a racist white person would say, I mean the KKK called us dirty, porch monkeys, etc. Take, Naomi Campbell, she's very dark skin, and very beautiful, does she look dirty? Hell no, she's all up in everybody's magazine and on the runway. Kenya Moore (Miss America 19XX) she's also very dark skin, and vety beautiful (She and Tyra Banks are best friends, and Tyra always complients her beuatiful skin tone on her racial shows). But anyway, you are entitled to your own opinion, but I just do not agree with your statement that dark people look dirty and unclean and that light people look pure and clean.

[Pure Suga]

I so agree with you, Brown Deceit. Take my cousin for example, he's about 6'5, med-dark brown skin, musuclar, and he plays college football, a lot of girls think my because is so fine, he's really built. He really doesn't care about color of girls as long as they have a good personality. My because says he'll date light dark skinend girls, that it doesn't matter to him, fine is fine. So one day I put him to the test. I said, so if you saw two girls stainding side by side, they had the same features, same shape, same height, same body type, same stylle, same hair, etc, excpet one was light and one was darl, which girl would you choose? And guess what he said? He said, "Oh, I'd choose the red girl". I asked him why, since he just said it didn't matter he likes both, and he said, "well if I was giving the option to pick out of the two, it would be the light skinned girl over the dark one, I don't know whay, but I'd just choose the light skinned girl firts"

[Pure Suga]

Yeah, I live in the FLA (Dirty South) and that's all you hear guys talk about is fine "yellow bone", bad "red bone" and fine caramel complexion. Even all the southern rappers always talking about they want them a bad red bone, it's never nothing about dark skinned girls.


I think it's regional. In some places, black men care about skin color more than others. Colorism is everywehre but its worse depending on where you live. For instance, I hear its pretty bad down south, and in places like LA.(are you from down south, I hear a lot of darkskin wo men complaining on YouTube about how hard it is in the southern regions) But if you go to New York, skin color doesn't matter that much (that's what some of the black women I've chatted with online said)


I do know that a brown or darkskin women can get noticed if they have a really really nice body like a big booty. Then skin color becomes a bit irrelavant. I am a dark brown woman who has a small waist and big booty, so when I get down about my color, I thank god that I can fall back on my nice frame.[/QUOTE]

[Golden_Girl]

Hi everyone,

My user name is Hot Cocoa and I joined this forum today. I am from West Africa and live in Los Angeles. To answer your question BrownDeceit, before I came to live in the States, I was ok with my skin color, I am a rich dark chocolate complexion. But since I came here things have changed after an incident few months ago. I was shopping on Hollywood Blvd and a black guy came to me and wanted to sell me CDs. I told him I wasn't interested and the next thing he was following me around yelling "black and ugly" The street was really busy and everbody was looking at me. I felt so bad and realised that dark skin is like a curse here in the States especially in the black community. Funny enough white guys seem to find me very attractive and exotic as I also speak French (I am dating a white guy) However, I feel the urge to be lighter. During summer I used bio claire after reading all the posts on that product but it thinned by skin and gave me an unvenen complexion... Yesterday, after reading some posts on 55H+ I ordered the glycerin, soap, and lotion but I am not even sure it's gonna work on me as I am really dark :( Anyway, I think this forum is the best place for me to be as members are not judgemental and try to help out. Thanks for this excellent thread BrownDeceit because it's what encouraged me to join askmehelpdesk.

Welcome Hot Cocoa. That is great to be with someone who admires you outside as well as inside. Lol... seems like I am going to have to learn some french and head to France. Which 55h+ lotion are you using?

Pure Suga I know where you are coming from. I am living in the southeast and I find it to be sick for these so-called rappers to write lame songs about "red bone, yellow bone"... nothing solid and lacks depth. I had a couple of associates who's favorite songs that only sang about "red bone", even one of my neighbors getting all gigitty about a song by Lil Wayne"

"I Like Red Bone
Pretty Feat, Slim Waist, Cute Face
Girl If That's You
Then Put Your Info In My Two Way
Girl You A Star Me And You Can Make A Movie... "

I don't even care for Lil' Wayne along with many other rappers. Not saying songs referring to a specific skin color should not be written, but there is no balance and one topic far outweighs the other, as the other is considered invisible. The only rapper that comes to mind who was versatile with his lyrics and praising the beauty of women including darkskin and brownskin women was Tupac. Not saying all his lyrics were clean, which they were not, just that it is very rare or near impossible to see that these days. They don't see the damage that they are establishing with their ignorance.

[sagluva]

I started lightening my skin after I went to africa for winter break last year.. I saw how beautiful my cousin's skin was and how light skinned women were chased so much.. I am pretty and I get attention from guys but myself esteem was still low.. I didn't think I looked any prettier because I lightened even though I loved my skin color till an old best friend from high school who I hadn't seen in a year saw me three months after I started bleaching and didn't recognize me at first and then was like omg you look so different.. I just played it off saying it's the makeup and then another time we hung out, she said oh you look so pretty now.:rolleyes: this boosted myself esteem..
My boyfriend also prefers light skinned girls.. always makes cooments like oh so and so is not that pretty but she's light skinned... I feel like lightening gave me more self confidence.. I was able to approach people more and felt more comfortable in my skin. Well I got back darker since I stopped for a few months this summer and now I'm back to step 1 lol.

[MAHARANI]

Hi everyone,

My user name is Hot Cocoa and I joined this forum today. I am from West Africa and live in Los Angeles. To answer your question BrownDeceit, before I came to live in the States, I was ok with my skin color, I am a rich dark chocolate complexion. But since I came here things have changed after an incident few months ago. I was shopping on Hollywood Blvd and a black guy came to me and wanted to sell me CDs. I told him I wasn't interested and the next thing he was following me around yelling "black and ugly" The street was really busy and everbody was looking at me. I felt so bad and realised that dark skin is like a curse here in the States especially in the black community.

Hi Hot Cocoa,

Welcome to the board and good luck with your lightening goal.

I have to say, That boy ( because he definitely is a BOY) has real issues and people like him, who revel in putting people down, are the scum of the earth! But you know what, I am a great believer in karma and hopefully his day will come soon. I wonder if people like him realise how much their words hurt. He has probably been put down himself and is so full of hatred, he unleashes it whenever he is rejected for the simplest of things.

I know he is the reason for your decision to lighten but I pray you do not allow his comments to ever make you feel bad about yourself. HE is the true UGLY one!!

[MAHARANI]

Oh and just to add to that, I bet you a million dollars he wouldn't have tried it, had you been a guy! What a D**khead!!

[Hot Cocoa]

Welcome Hot Cocoa. That is great to be with someone who admires you outside as well as inside. lol...seems like I am going to have to learn some french and head to France. which 55h+ lotion are you using?

Pure Suga I know where you are coming from. I am living in the southeast and I find it to be sick for these so-called rappers to write lame songs about "red bone, yellow bone"...nothing solid and lacks depth. I had a couple of associates whos favorite songs that only sang about "red bone", even one of my neighbors getting all gigitty about a song by Lil Wayne"

"I Like Red Bone
Pretty Feat, Slim Waist, Cute Face
Girl If Thats You
Then Put Your Info In My Two Way
Girl You A Star Me And You Can Make A Movie..."

I don't even care for Lil' Wayne along with many other rappers. not saying songs referring to a specific skin color should not be written, but there is no balance and one topic far outweighs the other, as the other is considered invisible. The only rapper that comes to mind who was versatile with his lyrics and praising the beauty of women including darkskin and brownskin women was Tupac. not saying all his lyrics were clean, which they were not, just that it is very rare or near impossible to see that these days. they don't see the damage that they are establishing with their ignorance.

Hey Golden Girl,

Thanks for your message, I really appreciate. The lotion I ordered is 55H+ Efficacite Exceptionnel Body Lotion 16.8 Fl. OZ. (500 ml). I am sure you don't need to speak French to attract anybody, you seem like a very nice person! As for Lil Wayne, I think he is the ugliest rapper ever!! I wonder how come he has so many babymamas:eek: (especially Lauren London) It must probably come from his "fame..." I mean if a guy looking like him stops me in the streets I will run away screaming "Holy Ghost!!!" Anyway, everyone has his own preferences...

[Hot Cocoa]

Hi Hot Cocoa,

welcome to the board and good luck with your lightening goal.

I have to say, That boy ( cos he definitely is a BOY) has real issues and people like him, who revel in putting people down, are the scum of the earth !! But you know what, I am a great believer in karma and hopefully his day will come soon. I wonder if people like him realise how much their words hurt. He has probably been put down himself and is so full of hatred, he unleashes it whenever he is rejected for the simplest of things.

I know he is the reason for youur decsion to lighten but I pray you do not allow his comments to ever make you feel bad about yourself. HE is the true UGLY one !!!

Hi Maharani,

Thanks so much . I think a lot of people don't realise how much words can hurt and YES I do believe in karma and know that it's going to catch up with this idiot soon:p Thanks God my boyfriend is always telling me how beautiful I am (he calls me "my African Queen") and it does help. But I still want to be a little bit lighter (just a bit LOLLLL:))

[Hot Cocoa]

Yeah, I live in the FLA (Dirty South) and that's all you hear guys talk about is fine "yellow bone", bad "red bone" and fine caramel complexion. Even all teh southern rappers always talking about they want them a bad red bone, it's never nothing about dark skinned girls.


I think it's regional. In some places, black men care about skin color more than others. Colorism is everywehre but its worse depending on where you live. For instance, I hear its pretty bad down south, and in places like LA.(are you from down south, I hear a lot of darkskin wo men complaining on youtube about how hard it is in the southern regions) But if you go to New York, skin color doesn't matter that much (that's what some of the black women I've chatted with online said)


I do know that a brown or darkskin women can get noticed if they have a really really nice body like a big booty. Then skin color becomes a bit irrelavant. I am a dark brown woman who has a small waist and big booty, so when I get down about my color, I thank god that i can fall back on my nice frame.

[/QUOTE]

I feel you when you talk about LA and how black men react towards light skin :mad: And then they will be the ones to give hardlook when they see black girls with white guys :rolleyes:

[EggoMini]

Welcome, Bienvenue & salut HC!

I hope you're lightening for yourself only. Unfortunately, calling someone dark or black is a common ignorant insult here.

if I had a beautiful even-toned dark skin I surely would not mess with it over some random moron's outburst. Best of luck whatever you decide!

& I know all about those hard looks too. Mon mari, il est Francais et aussi blanc!

[EggoMini]

Right now I wish that people were like Sims, Meez, Secondlife characters & you could simply click on the color you preferred whenever. Lol. It would make this all much easier!

I'd totally trade this whatever brown for a nice even-toned deep chocolate in a hot second.

I know I'm too old to have these issues but it's how I feel right now.

[Golden_Girl]

Thanks hot cocoa, I think I would have back slapped that guy selling those cds or sprayed a hefty amount of my mace in his face and then stepped on his cds so he couldn't sell them. Lil Wayne is quite ugly and he seems to get uglier and uglier each day, so it's odd for him to act like that, must be the cough syrup he had been drinking.

As long as your lightening for yourself and what makes you happy that't what matters.

EggoMini did you see any memorials or anything about Josephine Baker over there in France?

[Hot Cocoa]

Welcome, Bienvenue & salut HC!!

I hope you're lightening for yourself only. Unfortunately, calling someone dark or black is a common ignorant insult here.

if I had a beautiful even-toned dark skin I surely would not mess with it over some random moron's outburst. Best of luck whatever you decide!

& I know all about those hard looks too. Mon mari, il est Francais et aussi blanc!

Bonjour EggoMini,

I know it's weird, but sometimes I just can't help and wish I was a little bit more on the brown side... And this started when I came in the States, I probably shouldn't feel that way I guess... :confused:

[Itss A New Day]

Welcome Hot Cocoa. I would love to be one even shade of glowing chocolate myself, but just be lucky you have a wonderful man that never ceases to remind you how beautiful you are, and be lucky you are not 10 million shades of brown, but one even shade of hot cocoa! Lol

[EggoMini]

Bonjour EggoMini,

I know it's weird, but sometimes I just can't help and wish I was a little bit more on the brown side... And this started when I came in the States, I probably shouldn't feel that way I guess... :confused:

After living in both countries, I can attest to the difference in attitudes, colorism, racism, & the way men and women relate to each other.

I don't want to bash the US (& I'm generalizing) but this is an extra racist, extra colorist, and extra ageist place. The ideal for many is tight, light & preferably white.

Simply, I feel prettier in France. It's not that (esp. at my age) my self-esteem comes from what others think of me but I miss the energy, appreciative looks, light flirts, men giving you 'the look' etc. Yes, I'm married and faithful but I'm being honest.:p

Here I feel invisible at times & I'm the same person! My style hasn't changed & in fact I've lost weight! I've been back and forth several times and I know from first-hand experience that there's a difference.

It isn't you HC, it is this place! In fact, in college, of my professors was a single French white woman & I remember her complaining about the dating & social scene with Americans.

Again, I generalize because there are many intelligent sophisticated Americans too but on the whole.. yikes.. I cannot wait to move back! LOL! I also like that older women are still considered attractive & vital there too.

[Hot Cocoa]

Welcome Hot Cocoa. I would love to be one even shade of glowing chocolate myself, but just be lucky you have a wonderful man that never ceases to remind you how beautiful you are, and be lucky you are not 10 million shades of brown, but one even shade of hot cocoa! lol

Thanks. And you are absolutely right about not having many shades... Maybe I should just stick to that...

But I would really like to be like

[Hot Cocoa]

After living in both countries, I can attest to the difference in attitudes, colorism, racism, & the way men and women relate to each other.

I don't want to bash the US (& I'm generalizing) but this is an extra racist, extra colorist, and extra ageist place. The ideal for many is tight, light & preferably white.

Simply, I feel prettier in France. It's not that (esp. at my age) my self-esteem comes from what others think of me but I miss the energy, appreciative looks, light flirts, men giving you 'the look' etc. Yes, I'm married and faithful but I'm being honest.:p

Here I feel invisible at times & I'm the same person! My style hasn't changed & in fact I've lost weight! I've been back and forth several times and I know from first-hand experience that there's a difference.

It isn't you HC, it is this place! In fact, in college, of my professors was a single French white woman & I remember her complaining about the dating & social scene with Americans.

Again, I generalize because there are many intelligent sophisticated Americans too but on the whole..yikes..I cannot wait to move back! LOL! I also like that older women are still considered attractive & vital there too.

EggoMini,

Tu as raison, you are soooo right. As I said, it's since I came here that I want to be lighter... But I am not blaming it on the society here as I would really want to see if being lighter will add something:rolleyes:, don't know