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BrownDeceit · Oct 9, 2009, 03:12 PM

Hey. I'm just curious as to everyone's reasons as to why they want to lighten their skin. No one is here to judge!! Everyone has different reasons, one reason is not better than the other. Some people may be doing it because of social class and social standards (I know in a lot of Asian countries a lot of the social structure is dictated by skin color), some may be doing it for their own personal liking, some were teased, maybe you think it suits or facial features better, maybe you have a few skin discolorations, you were inspired by a celebrity, you're doing it for fashion, etc. What's your reason?

My reason: I'm of African descent. My father is very dark my mother is very fair. I came out dark. Like the skin complexion of the singer Kelly Rowland. I've never had a problem with my complexion all the way up until junior high school. I always thought I was really pretty. I loved my skin color. I ENJOYED getting darker. I was just so happy with myself. UNTIL. Junior High started. And I started getting teased and told I was too dark. And all of the guys would only be interested in the fairer skinned girls. I love dark brown skin. Still until this day. I LOVE it. I think it's beautiful. But what I think and what a lot of people in society think... Is totally different. So when I was around 15 I started rummaging through the contents in my mothers cabinet and I started bleaching my skin. I was really new to it and I didn't tell my mother what I was doing and so I used Movate in large quantities with NO MIXING and it really broke me out really bad and just made my skin a mess. But it did make it lighter. Lol. Of course I stopped using it. I started using a variety of other things that got my skin to the beautiful color that it is now. I know society may tell us that it is wrong to want to lighten our skin. But the question is. Would you rather be RIGHT and UNHAPPY? Or lighten your skin and be WRONG and HAPPY? Because right now, I'm sure many people would say I'm wrong for lightening my skin. But am I wrong for liking the fact that men find me to be very beautiful now that my skin is fairer? Am I wrong for placing higher in beauty pageants because my skin is fairer? Am I wrong for wanting to be happy? Am I wrong for wanting to obtain a husband? I can honestly say. The way I was treated when having dark skin, compared to my golden caramel complexion now. Is TOTALLY different. Why should I be shunned because I want to reap the benefits that a woman with lighter skin receives?

And please avoid childish comments like: "Well I'm already light, but I just want to be a shade lighter." Bottom line. You're still lightening your skin. And please don't bash the next persons reason. They have a right to do what they want! :)

innuendo · Oct 9, 2009, 04:22 PM

This is an honest discussion. And I'm going to give an honest answer. You make a vary valid point about being Right and Unhappy or Wrong and Happy. I am not going to try to ignore the fact that Light skin is revered in the States and other parts of the world. This one of my reasons for bleaching, but the other is mostly beauty. Light skin is seen as attractive feature by today's social standards, and me being an artist and creative individual, I always try to strive towards what is considered beautiful. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder is the old axiom. However, 70% of those beholders will agree that lighter is better. You can't deny the facts. I think you should be able to whatever the heck you want with your image. It's YOUR IMAGE, not other people's so you shouldn't worry about their opinions or what "morally" and "ethically" right or wrong. If being light skin will make you HAPPY, then by all means GO FOR IT. In the animal kingdom animals adapt to endure harsh environmental conditions. I see that as very similar to when we individually lighten our skin. We are trying to adapt knowing very well how cruel the world can be. Would you try to swim AGAINST the tide or go with it? The choice is yours.

EggoMini · Oct 9, 2009, 05:20 PM

I'm currently lightening areas that have gotten darker from melasma and sun damage. I'm okay with my true color now.

However, for years, I tanned a lot because I thought it minimized my uneveness AND because I felt that I looked more exotic & attractive with darker skin.

Now that I'm older I just want everything healthy and even!:o

I hear you about social pressure and beauty standards. Somehow I internalized the darker=sexier idea so I damaged my skin in pursuit of it.

I think that, ideally, we should make ourselves attractive without harm.

Itss A New Day · Oct 9, 2009, 08:22 PM

I too used to get called demeaning names for being dark skinned, but I tried to brush them off as I got older. MY lighter friends always got more attention than me, but I never tried to lighten my skin because of it, although I secretly wished to be a bit lighter to get more attention as well. Now I am actually not aiming to be really fair skinned, as it would look too artificial on me, but I am lightening to become a lighter brown skin. My first reason for lightening was to even my skin tone overall, but now I feel that I feel I would look nice with a lighter brown color as well. I was plagued with acne on and off for years, so this has caused some discoloration on my face, but now I see that whatever products I use to even my face ultimately make my face look uneven with my body, so I am lightening my body first to follow suit with what my face will lighten to when I try to even my facial complexion again if that makes sense.

nikkicute · Oct 9, 2009, 08:23 PM

7th grade! Ughhh!
Three high yellow boys used to tease me, told me I shouldn't wear red because my skin was dark. Thing is two of them had girlfriends both of them darker than they were, only one or two shades darker, so it didn't make any since for them to say that to me.

I remember when I was younger one summer my mother yelled out the window "get out of the sun your getting too dark!!". How embarrassing:o, she said it right in front of the biracial girl (white and black) who lived next door to us and a white friend who was playing outside with me.

I was at the bank one time and over heard this man and women talking and he pointed to me and said to her "oh I almost said hi I thought she was your daughter". She looks over at me and said " that's not my daughter my daughter is lighter". He laughed and said "oh I'm not going to got there" and continued to laugh.

Two guys talking about girls, one said "I met this girl and she was fine". She was fine but she dark. I was like huh? Can't someone be dark and pretty?

I think it's just a combination of things through the years that made me want to start lightening. I mean when it comes to black folk somehow or someway growing up you will here some comment about someone being too black etc... Or you hear someone day "I"m not black I'm brown"

The first lightening product I ever bought was some kind of cream/makeup I think:confused: Not sure what it was. Small classified ad in the back of a magazine read "have white face". Lol It came in the mail, small green and red container with Indian writing on top of the lid.

It felt like creamy thick clay like foundation I guess. I remember putting it on my face and it was like I had put on makeup that didn't match my skin but I put it on anyway for a while. It didn't work. Now that I look back it was more like theater makeup, that probably would have made someone else look lighter, someone Asian or Indian.

BeGone Skin Toner
Nadolina Skin Bleach
Reviva Labs Brown Spot Night Cream
Janssen White Secrets
Mia Sasha Color Tone B
Hollywood Secret Products
African Queen Beauty
Isomers Skin Brightening Complex
Fair and White Lightening and Purifying Cream
Fair and Flawless
Diana Stalder Whitening Products
The Spa Basin
MegaBlast

I used a lot of creams!
In the end when I started to lighten I liked the way I looked.:) I just got over that other stuff. It's about me now and I want to look my best.

Itss A New Day · Oct 9, 2009, 08:34 PM

People can be so cruel Nikki, and I have got the same name calling, but I never knew about skin lightening so I just sucked it up and beared it and grinned, although it hurt inside. I guess you can say you're one step ahead of the haters now

dessaml · Oct 9, 2009, 09:27 PM

I have hyperpigmentation, that is the MAIN reason I lighten. I also find lighter skin on certain people to be very appealing, and I think I am one of those people,

Golden_Boy · Oct 9, 2009, 10:28 PM

Im jealous of people lighter than me

I want to look good in more, brighter colors like they do :)

Golden_Girl · Oct 10, 2009, 01:36 AM

Reading everyone's story here makes me think this could be collaborated into a book or something. Well, for me when I was a young kid I was yellow/light brown. I was a tomboy and was always outside climbing trees, jumping gates, and into sports along with my brothers. So, I definitely got darker but I didn't really care. People would bring it too my attention, but I didn't know what to make of it. I think my first few reality calls was in 3rd-5th grade when the boys in the class would go gaga over the couple of light skinned girls w/ long wavy hair, especially if they had light eyes. But, it was confusing because I would look at the girls features and there's was not different than mine or they were actually unattractive with messed up teeth, one also had serous behaviour problems but the guys didn't care... I thought that was weird.

My older sister looks biracial, her skin tone is like Hale Berry's and her eyes are greenish/grey. Other than that are features are the same, my dad is light brown too and his dad looked biracial. So, this made me feel a bit confused and off and on wonder why did the gene skip me? People of practically any race treated her as though she was a beauty queen and as if I was her invisible shadow. I realized her perspective of life was completely different from mine due to our experiences, so yes I would say she definitely had it easy. Once I entered high school, I notice how when a friend of mine and I would walk down the hallway she would always get all of the attention because she was lightskin. I thought she was cute and I didn't get jealous of her, just really confused. Because I knew I was an attractive girl too with the better looking body. But, she was the lighter one, regardless if her teeth were big and she was flat. I later learned she only hung around me because I was darker than her and she would get the attention. I felt really insulted and hurt because I thought she was a true friend. But unfortunately, she wasn't the first nor the last. I liked having brown skin and remembered trying to decide which shade I liked best, the darker rich complexion of beautiful Naomi Campbell so I can tan. Or the lighter brown complexion of Tyra Banks, so some how I would have to lighten. I never could decide because I always considered all shades to be so beautiful and focused more on the features.

Now an adult, I had to go through not being hired even if I was more qualified, insulted of my complexion of not being light enough, and so on. At first I thought I was mistaken and it could not be the reason. But, when you're told insulting things to your face because of your color and 9 times out of 10 it comes from people of the same race. There was no reason for me to ignore the situation. My ex's family who were from the Bahamas treated me like pure sh!t and made it very known they hated me, that I was too dark, not good enough, and it only got worse. And it only worsened as time progressed. And I was only an 18 year old then. Interesting thing was that his mother was the shade of Alek Wek, a beautiful woman, and she was married into a mulatto family and her husband was biracial. So the girls came out about Beyonce's color but my ex was medium brown like me. But, then later down the road he became insulting about my hair being too curly and my skin being too dark and became very verbally abusive to me. This didn't improve the situation of my view of black men in the West any better, it only made it worse and it only made me resent them more.

I started to lighten in 06' first with the, I can't remember the name at the moment but it was a brown liquid and it smelled like cigarettes and did nothing after 2 months.
Edit: it was BodyBleach

In Ethiopia I tried a couple of sunblocks that said it will also lighten the skin, it did jack but made me look like I was wearing chalk on my face. In 08' I tried bio claire, diana stalder, and makari. All of them I read the successes from online lightening forums, including this one. This year was the makari and then the mediderm rx. So, my list is rather small and I'm not a product junkie, but maybe obsessed to find the perfect regimen that can lighten my whole body and easily maintain. I noticed that when I was much lighter I was treated 50 times better than before and people going out of their way for me and men telling me how beautiful I was because I was so light skinned. Honestly I thought to myself they were all fools, because I am the same only lighter and they were shallow. But, the much positive treatment I would prefer any day. Why should I have to suffer for the rest of my life? I rather be happy and treated better, the difference is no mistake. Would I suggest other people should lighten? Of course not, nor would I ridicule if one wants to lighten.

Many do not realize, but lightening your skin for beauty is no different than darkening your skin for beauty. It is your preference and to me quite easily understood.

... truly sorry for the long post.

Golden_Boy · Oct 10, 2009, 01:56 AM

Originally Posted by Golden_Girl

I was a tomboy and was always outside climbing trees, jumping gates, and into sports along with my brothers. So, I definitely got darker but I didn't really care.

Now an adult, I had to go through not being hired even if I was more qualified, insulted of my complexion of not being light enough, and so on.

I started to lighten in 06' first with the, I can't remember the name at the moment but it was a brown liquid and it smelled like cigarettes and did nothing after 2 months.

This year was the makari and then the mediderm rx.

Many do not realize, but lightening your skin for beauty is no different than darkening your skin for beauty. It is your preference and to me quite easily understood.
.

Was that "BodyBleach"? That was one of the first I tried too it was nasty, almost as bad as Fair Flawless. It say iare extracts but seemed like hydroquinone thrown in lotion. Left a brown stain in my skin almost a whole year.

Anyway thanks for sharing. :)

Itss A New Day · Oct 10, 2009, 01:58 AM

People are so quick to judge and you can never know anyone's true motivation for doing something until you've lived just one day in their life. This is why I try not to judge people, even the ones who did call me demeaning names for being dark skinned, because you become a biproduct of the toxic society you live in unless you either choose to go against the grain or play the game.

EggoMini · Oct 10, 2009, 02:20 AM

Originally Posted by Golden_Girl

... But, it was confusing because I would look at the girls features and there’s was not different than mine or they were actually unattractive with messed up teeth, one also had serous behaviour problems but the guys didn't care...I thought that was weird...
... I liked having brown skin and remembered trying to decide which shade I liked best, the darker rich complexion of beautiful Naomi Campbell so I can tan. Or the lighter brown complexion of Tyra Banks, so some how I would have to lighten. I never could decide because I always considered all shades to be so beautiful and focused more on more on the features...

..Honestly I thought to myself they were all fools, because I am the same only lighter and they were shallow. But, the much positive treatment I would prefer any day. Why should I have to suffer for the rest of my life? I rather be happy and treated better, the difference is no mistake. Would I suggest other people should lighten? Of course not, nor would I ridicule if one wants to lighten...

..Many do not realize, but lightening your skin for beauty is no different than darkening your skin for beauty. It is your preference and to me quite easily understood.

...truly sorry for the long post.

Wow, I really identify with what you've said here! Even though, I've never been full-on light-colored, I have noticed different treatment (depending on my color & hair styles).. mostly from other brown and black people. Esp. guys in the dating scene. That's a whole book unto itself.:D

Even some women seem to pick girlfriends by shade. I've spent most of my life in mixed circles & was always one of the darker people around... by accident or design lol.

I think if you can get the color you like (brightening or bronzing) without damaging yourself in the process it's cool. I also see beauty more in the structure and person's attitude.

Well, no matter what I do now, I'll be the darkest in my household.:p My husband's European and our oldest child gets close to my natural color in the summers. I'll have a twin for part of the year at least. LOL!

BrownDeceit · Oct 10, 2009, 06:50 AM

Innuendo- I totally agree with you on trying to strive toward being beautiful. I am just naturally such a competitive person. I have this urge to always have to be the best. NO MATTER WHAT. And if having darker skin automatically sets me back, then I am going to lighten my skin. I'm obsessed with beauty. :(

It's a New Day- I totally agree with you. Often times I considered just lightening my blemishes. But when I see how much lighter it makes me. I figure why stop?

Nikki- Wow. Girl I'm sorry that the people at the bank did that to you! That is soooo unbelievably RUDE! And such a hurtful thing to do to a young girl. And I couldn't imagine my mother saying something like that to me. Especially in front of a white girl and a bi racial girl. I would have been crushed! And boys are so stupid. So very stupid. They'll say stupid things. Especially the young ones.

Golden Boy- Can you just shut up. You say the most idiotic things and I wished you never joined this board. And you irritate the hell out of me. Out of all the things Golden Girl typed... All you could ask her is if she used the same brand of bleaching cream you did? Go reevaluate yourself.

Golden Girl- I relate with soooooo much of what you said! Sooooo much! It never really hit me until 7th grade that lighter skin was better. Because up until then I had gone to an all white school where I was like 1 of 5 black children in the school, and no one really cared about race. But let me tell you. I got to Junior High and all the lighter skinned girls were just seen as more attractive. Even if they didn't dress as well as me. They had jacked up teeth. Mediocre facial features. It just didn't matter. Because their skin was light they were put up on this pedestal. And I too was confused. Because I KNEW even at that age that I was pretty. My nose my lips my eyes everything went together so well. But no one seemed to notice, nor care. I could not IMAGINE having to live with an older sister who is lighter than me and who has lighter eyes. :( That would not be fun at at all to live in her shadow. I commend you for being strong though. And your boyfriend sounds like an . My ex was like that too. Do you know one time he actually asked me to stick out my hand so he could put his next to mine and compare whose hand was lighter? UGH. (We were the Same SHADE. Lol!) He even told me he would NEVER date a girl who is darker than him. Before we started dating he told me he only dates girls lighter than him. I wonder if that's why he doesn't want to be with me anymore... Well I'm lighter than him now by several shades. Ha!

Anyway. Love the input from you all!

BrownDeceit · Oct 10, 2009, 06:53 AM

Oh and I've noticed some girls will purposely hang out with girls darker than them just to get more attention. I had a dominican friend. She used to do that. Then she noticed I started getting more attention than her when I started perming my hair and lightening up and dressing nicer. She doesn't like to hang out with me anymore. Hm. I wonder why.

brightskin · Oct 10, 2009, 08:02 AM

I have a severe overbite, and was teased mercilessly for it all throughout school- elementary, junior high, high school, I'm a sophomore in a major university now and people still make hurtful comments about it. I think the rest of my face is attractive enough, but I have almost no confidence.

I thought maybe, if I lighten, I'll be pretty in spite of that. I have noticed that light skinned women get treated much better, and I want some of that positive attention for myself.

nikkicute · Oct 10, 2009, 12:21 PM

Originally Posted by brightskin

I have a severe overbite, and was teased mercilessly for it all throughout school- elementary, junior high, high school, I'm a sophomore in a major university now and people still make hurtful comments about it. I think the rest of my face is attractive enough, but I have almost no confidence.

I thought maybe, if I lighten, I'll be pretty in spite of that. I have noticed that light skinned women get treated much better, and I want some of that positive attention for myself.

Is an overbite sort of like having buck teeth?

brightskin · Oct 10, 2009, 12:28 PM

Sort of. Buck teeth is when only the two front teeth are larger/more prominent than the rest. An overbite is when the entire top half of your teeth stick out more. A little bit of an overbite (like a few millimeters)is normal- most people don't have their top and bottom teeth perfectly aligned. I just have a big one :(

nikkicute · Oct 10, 2009, 12:53 PM

Originally Posted by brightskin

Sort of. Buck teeth is when only the two front teeth are larger/more prominent than the rest. An overbite is when the entire top half of your teeth stick out more. A little bit of an overbite (like a few millimeters)is normal- most people don't have their top and bottom teeth perfectly aligned. I just have a big one :(

Awww that so sad you were picked on.
You can get braces or Invisalign to help with that.
But you know what some people are actually cute that way! Lol
Maybe you don't feel you look nice with it but keep your head up anyway.

Vanillawannabe · Oct 10, 2009, 01:26 PM

I started wanting lighter skin when I was told that I was brown skinned. Prior to being told that I was always told I was the lightskinned girl, but I guess its all perception. Anyway, I know this will sound racist but I think lighter skin looks more clean and pure. I love how clear the skin looks when its very light brown, and plus I want to look racially ambiguous, because even at this shade, people think I am not black (biracial, still black though). So for me I would say its half racial, and half of it is because it looks pure and clean. Very dark skin looks dirty to me ( in know its sounds terrible) and they also look like they smell bad.
I hate that I believe this way

fairr · Oct 10, 2009, 01:41 PM

Vanilla! :O
I agree with the clean and pure though...