[jalnia]

I have hired an attorney and we are in the process of filing for a default judgment. However, locating the father would ensure a positive outcome. Please respond with the best way to locate a "missing" parent.

[stevetcg]

Private Investigator.

[cdad]

Do you know anything about the missing parent ? Could they be dead ? Were you married to them before ?

[JudyKayTee]

LICENSED Private Investigator.

[jalnia]

Do you know anything about the missing parent ? Could they be dead ? Were you married to them before ?

No, I was never married to him. I do know he is a chemical engineer, 40 years old in a few days, his father is physical therapist, I have his SS#, and like I have said before, I hired an attorney. My attorney served him with documents about the modification, but he claims he is another Nick L. I have a house address with a long list of neighbors. This is the second attorney I have paid a large amount of money to in the past year, and am at my breaking point. Should I completely ruin his reputation and smear him over the internet? I am at a loss. He is not dead :(

I hate to let it get to that point. However, my son is highly intelligent and deserves a quality college education, funded in part by his bio father.

[JudyKayTee]

"Smearing him all over the Internet" could very well get you sued and isn't going to get you any money. In fact, it could COST you money.

You have no idea where he lives, what area?

Why hasn't your Attorney served him at his father's house with the 50/50 hope that he will get the papers?

I don't understand why, if you have all this ID info, he is so difficult to serve.

And, yes, I locate and serve people.

[cdad]

"Smearing him all over the Internet" could very well get you sued and isn't going to get you any money. In fact, it could COST you money.

You have no idea where he lives, what area?

Why hasn't your Attorney served him at his father's house with the 50/50 hope that he will get the papers?

I don't understand why, if you have all this ID info, he is so difficult to serve.

And, yes, I locate and serve people.

Also if you have his ss/number then you could turn it over to the state to track him. They have access to a national database for people that are working or filing a tax return.

[jalnia]

"Smearing him all over the Internet" could very well get you sued and isn't going to get you any money. In fact, it could COST you money.

You have no idea where he lives, what area?

Why hasn't your Attorney served him at his father's house with the 50/50 hope that he will get the papers?

I don't understand why, if you have all this ID info, he is so difficult to serve.

And, yes, I locate and serve people.

I do know where he lives/lived. Florida. And I would not be slandering him in any way if I posted our "dirty laundry" all over the internet. I would simply be allowing people, preferably the ones he knows, to have an insight into his past. Mainly allowing them the opportunity to know he is not such a well rounded individual. For example the fact he has a son he has forgotten, and a past, but not too past, of problems with the law. He also landed his first BIG job with falsifying his college transcripts. I am not being sarcastic: please tell me if you see anything wrong with this campaign. I am merely attempting to make him surface.

And, what do you charge to locate someone? I am interested. I have a home address, but he does not seem to be there. If you have a better way please let me know. He is very slippery.

[jalnia]

Also if you have his ss/number then you could turn it over to the state to track him. They have access to a national database for people that are working or filing a tax return.

I have tried using the state for eight years now, and they are the slowest, most ignorant, and incompetent bunch I know. It's as though they protect these bottom feeders for some reason :mad:

[JudyKayTee]

I do know where he lives/lived. Florida. And I would not be slandering him in any way if I posted our "dirty laundry" all over the internet. I would simply be allowing people, preferably the ones he knows, to have an insight into his past. Mainly allowing them the opportunity to know he is not such a well rounded individual. For example the fact he has a son he has forgotten, and a past, but not too past, of problems with the law. He also landed his first BIG job with falsifying his college transcripts. I am not being sarcastic: please tell me if you see anything wrong with this campaign. I am merely attempting to make him surface.

And, what do you charge to locate someone? I am interested. I have a home address, but he does not seem to be there. If you have a better way please let me know. He is very slippery.

Trust me, you would be at best harassing him and very possibly slandering him. All else asideit will look like the actions of a bitter and dumped woman and I'm not sure you want to come off that way. I also fail to see how that will get you any money. So he loses his job because of this - how do you come out ahead?

Let him look/act like a loser. I wouldn't let him suck me in.

Quite frankly, you will also look bad - you had a child with this person? Just when did you obtain all this knowledge about his background. I see that you have five other children - is he their father, also? https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/childr...ml#post2021605

I don't quote prices - I work only for law firms and I am in NY. I would expect to pay - depending on where you are - between $50 and $100 an hour, minimum. Some LPI's also charge a minimum fee, possibly in the $250 area.

As far as the "he doesn't seem to be there" part - hire a LPI to serve the papers.

[artlady]

Trust me, you would be at best harassing him and very possibly slandering him. All else asideit will look like the actions of a bitter and dumped woman and I'm not sure you want to come off that way. I also fail to see how that will get you any money. So he loses his job because of this - how do you come out ahead?

Let him look/act like a loser. I wouldn't let him suck me in.

Quite frankly, you will also look bad - you had a child with this person? Just when did you obtain all this knowledge about his background.

I don't quote prices - I work only for law firms and I am in NY. I would expect to pay - depending on where you are - between $50 and $100 an hour, minimum. Some LPI's also charge a minimum fee, possibly in the $250 area.

As far as the "he doesn't seem to be there" part - hire a LPI to serve the papers.

Wow! I am writing a book about a LPI. (tough smart babe)I may have to pick you brain and give you props when it is a best seller :)

[jalnia]

Trust me, you would be at best harassing him and very possibly slandering him. All else asideit will look like the actions of a bitter and dumped woman and I'm not sure you want to come off that way. I also fail to see how that will get you any money. So he loses his job because of this - how do you come out ahead?

Let him look/act like a loser. I wouldn't let him suck me in.

Quite frankly, you will also look bad - you had a child with this person? Just when did you obtain all this knowledge about his background.

I don't quote prices - I work only for law firms and I am in NY. I would expect to pay - depending on where you are - between $50 and $100 an hour, minimum. Some LPI's also charge a minimum fee, possibly in the $250 area.

As far as the "he doesn't seem to be there" part - hire a LPI to serve the papers.

Unfortunately yes, I had a child with this "man" and got the only good part he has to offer. The child of course. I am now 32 years of age and had my child two months after my 20th birthday. I absolutely did not know of his past problems BEFORE I got pregnant, and feel I have completely lived up to my share of the responsibility. BTW When my son was born the bio dad was 27 years old and had just completed college. As for myself, I was 20 and just entering my sophomore year. Not an excuse, just the background. I am most certainly not bitter, but do feel "our" son deserves contributions from BOTH of his parents.

Do you have any information on a LPI in the Florida area? Or do I even need one in Florida? I have waited so many years being proactive, but in turn, trying to keep my hands clean. You are right, the last thing I want to do is stoop to his level.

So I guess you are saying you would advise me to not use the internet as a tool to make him climb out from whatever rock he is hiding under. I will take your advice on the LPI and hire one tomorrow. This is an avenue I have yet to take. TY

[artlady]

Wow! I am writing a book about a LPI. (tough smart babe)I may have to pick you brain and give you props when it is a best seller :)

I have a story line that is awesome and full of surprises.. what you got :rolleyes:
A collaboration sounds good.
We need to talk ,seriously! :)

[cdad]

Do you already have a judgement against him for child support ? Have you ever been through the courts for it ? Did you notify the state that you wished to handle your own case ?

[jalnia]

Do you already have a judgement against him for child support ? have you ever been through the courts for it ? Did you notify the state that you wished to handle your own case ?

Yes, I have an order based on unemployment. I did go through the courts and by the time we got to the order he knew it was coming. So he managed to get himself out of a job by means of a friendly favor. He then applied for unemployment and went back to school to get a Masters in business management. My attorney did notify the state of his involvement in my case, and they have ceased and further action. Although I am not sure they were really doing anything to begin with. I have never seen anything like it, the state that is. It is amazing they know how to tie their own shoes... they are so over-run with cases and have plenty don't give a care attitude on board. I am completely ready to fly to Florida to search for him myself. I really would like to post his face and name across the internet. His greatest fear is allowing people to see him for who he is. I'm just not sure I want to lower my standards and call him out. I know he will surface if he thinks he can stop the flow of info, but I'm not sure which way is up right now when it comes to this topic.

[cdad]

Yes, I have an order based on unemployment. I did go through the courts and by the time we got to the order he knew it was coming. So he managed to get himself out of a job by means of a friendly favor. He then applied for unemployment and went back to school to get a Masters in business management. My attorney did notify the state of his involvement in my case, and they have ceased and further action. Although I am not sure they were really doing anything to begin with. I have never seen anything like it, the state that is. It is amazing they know how to tie their own shoes.......they are so over-run with cases and have plenty don't give a care attitude on board. I am completely ready to fly to Florida to search for him myself. I really would like to post his face and name accross the internet. His greatest fear is allowing people to see him for who he is. I'm just not sure I want to lower my standards and call him out. I know he will surface if he thinks he can stop the flow of info, but I'm not sure which way is up right now when it comes to this topic.

Posting him across the internet is not a good idea as it can backfire and you can be sued for it. Also most sites don't allow you to do so because they can be responsible for your actions too. You have been given good advice on how to find him. But Im not sure what you believe your going to get once you do ? The thing about getting a child support judgement is that he goes into arrears right away and it doesn't disappear. But there are things you can't do on your own that the state can do so you may end up back with them anyway.

[JudyKayTee]

I really would like to post his face and name accross the internet. His greatest fear is allowing people to see him for who he is. I'm just not sure I want to lower my standards and call him out. I know he will surface if he thinks he can stop the flow of info, but I'm not sure which way is up right now when it comes to this topic.

I understand your frustration BUT is this about the money or "exposing him for who he is"? I'm not sure of your motives.

Again - you had a child with him. Throwing mud at him doesn't necessary make you look good.

I'd use legal means but would keep in mind that he very well could "disappear" again.