[stephat30]

I would like to know how to cope with a family that has never provided me with the love and understanding I've needed as a young and adult woman.

[dontknownuthin]

I don't know what way your family is dysfunctional but I can recommend that you might want to consider going to some meetings with other people in similar circumstances. Adult Children of Alcoholics is a very good one from what I understand, and they can connect you with other resources. Even if alcohol isn't the issue, they might have some other references to help you.

It can be helpful to understand that if you don't fully deconstruct and come to understand your own pain, you can bring that into your future relationships. Counseling and support, whether individual or in a group, can provide you a chance to identify what you need to learn in order to create a life for yourself that meets your needs and makes you happy and secure. You probably cannot change your family, and they will likely never really understand your issues with them, so find the support and understanding elsewhere, and perhaps you'll also learn how to draw some boundaries so you can remain part of your family without giving them more influence and import in your life than is healthy for you.

Best wishes to you. The good news is that you can create the life you want now, no matter what they think.

[kayla1515]

These types of families are very hard to grow up in. I know this because I grew up in one. I am 20 years old and have absolutely no support from my family at all. I have learned at not letting it get to you has been the best way for me to cope with it. I distanced myself from all of them and surrounded myself by great friends who are extremely supportive. I also work for a company where many of my co-workers are older and they some of the woman are like moms to me. I can go to them with any problems questions and things like that. It is very hard to come to terms with the fact that your family is not supportive or loving. There are people out there that will show you that support and love everyone needs in their life. Hopefully your family will sense your distance and come to you, if not just remember you can have lots of support from other people as long as you are willing to let them in so to speak.

If you have any questions or need someone to talk to I'm always available to lend an ear and some advice.