[dincher]

Actually, I'm writing about myself...

At times it's very difficult for me to accept that people just lose interest in once loving relationships and simply move on with their lives.

I find myself feeling depressed when friends and or lovers move on without a care in the world as to what happened in the past...

Like I just saw a Facebook profile of my ex husband, and he seemed so happy holding up his new daughter - the one he had with the woman he cheated on me with.

I wondered, why why why did my husband leave me? I loved him so much, and eventually wanted to have a family with him. But here I am, sitting alone - unable to grasp my sudden marriage which fell apart.

Shortly after, I had a girlfriend whom I started to hang out with, but who started to date, so now I'm out of the picture. I miss hanging out with her a lot, although I understand her reasons, but I still really do miss her.

And finally, there is the girl I posted about on this board not too long ago - we were like soul sisters. I loved that girl halfway to death, and all of a sudden she just lost interest. She tells me there's nothing wrong, but she acts it. Without boring you guys, the point is...

Why do all of the above make me feel so damn insecure? I don't know, it's like I feel like there's no point in making friends or loving people as they'll leave anyway. :confused:

Is it me? My own insecurity? Is this sort of thing normal? Or could I use some adjustment in my personality,.

[Starry nights]

Dincher,first of all,sorry about your marriage falling apart.And sorry about all thos friends whom you thought you could count on,but who just upped and left to lead their won lives.As human beings,its only natural that all of us want to love and be loved,be surrounded with people who understand us and with whom we can find happiness.

Its unfortunate that of so many people we see and meet only a handful turn out to be just like us,sharing the same thoughts and views,with whom we can bond and strike up a close relationship.Very few people share the same kind of intensity and passion about feelings and relationships just in the same way that we do maybe.

Having said that,the more you dwell upon how sad and unfortunate these truths of life are,the more sad you become.The more lonely,depressed and left-out you feel.The more you feel that somehow,you don't BELONG anywhere,that people out there just don't get you or leave you or just use you and leave.

But see it this way--the world is like a huge cauldron full of so many people.Its also becos of these varied people that the world is so interesting.If everybody were like everybody,there wouldn't be the spice and excitement in getting to know so many different cultures,religions and countries.Just think of it this way--you,me and a million others have been cast together on this planet for a good reason.I bring my own uniqueness to this situation,so do you.You can be needy,greedy,whatever whatever,BUT Dincher,YOU are YOU and you need to be happy with that.Find your own purpose for living,invite other people you meet to share your life and don't always expect everybody to act and think and speak the way you want.If you accept people the way they are,you will find your expectations out of them have reduced.You will not really need them to make you happy.You will find other more interesting people to meet,places to go,things to do.

All that's required is a shift of focus into thinking that no matter who's there or isn't in your life,no matter who leaves and who stays,no matter what crap life dishes out to you,you have a LIFE all of your own to live,a purpose to fulfill just by being here.Have fun Dincher thinking that your life is like a blank sheet of paper on which you can splash any damn colour you want:)

[joy_reyno]

You have a very nice question, yet very confusing. You mentioned that you saw your ex-husband in the Facebook holding his child with a woman he cheated from you. Your story went that you later fell in love with a lady.. Before I answer your question, let me confirm with you.. are you female? Or,

Well, it is really pain and hurting to lose someone you deeply in love especially when you see him/her with somebody else., it really pricks your heart. But there is a saying that our heart has no pain receptor. Our mind deals with it. How about, changing the way we look to your ex-husband by making yourself happy when you see him happy though with somebody else. Make him and his new family as your friends. It would be hard but it will eventually banish your pains.

[dincher]

You have a very nice question, yet very confusing. You mentioned that you saw your ex-husband in the facebook holding his child with a woman he cheated from you. Your story went that you later fell in love with a lady..Before I answer your question, let me confirm with you..are you female? or,

No, I'm a lady. :) Sorry to not have made myself clearer, but when I said that I loved my friend halfway to death, it's not that I fell in love with her, but that I considered her to be like the sister I really never had. She helped me a lot during the time my ex husband left me.

[I wish]

Sounds like you constantly need attention from another person. You need to learn to love yourself and be independent.

Furthermore, I strongly suggest you delete your husband from your friends list on Facebook, that's just going to cause you more pain.

I suggest that you get some professional help. You sound extremely needy with friends or siginficant others and it might scare people away sometimes.

I also suggest that you make multiple friends. It sounds like you're constantly only close to 1 person at the time and it puts a lot of pressure on that 1 person, especially when you constantly need their help and emotional support.