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Krs · Sep 28, 2009, 12:04 AM

When you baptise your child, is it not right to have your mother - the grand mother of you child to be God Mother?

My husband thinks it doesn't make sense seeing as she is the grand mother?

While my mother indirectly told me she would like to be GOd mother..

Sylvanta Sybil · Sep 28, 2009, 12:06 AM

The God-Mother is the second parent, if the grandmother is going to be the godmother, she has to be there when you're not...

Krs · Sep 28, 2009, 12:09 AM

Yes I know that. :)

I wouldn't mind my mother to be the GOd Mother but my husband thinks it doesn't make sense because she is the grand mother and already has rights.

I hope that this won't be a dilemma between my mother and my husband..

Krs · Sep 28, 2009, 12:14 AM

Also my husband is not catholic but I am.. and we live in a catholic country, although not his believe we are baptising the child seeing as it will be raised in a catholic country, not sure if this has anything to do with what I said above. But I'm really confused as don't wish to upset my mum but on other hand I think its my choice and my husband's choice...
In my family my grand parents are my god parents so its like path to take here but because my husband is not catholic he thinks its odd puttin a parent as god parent..

What are your thoughts?

Clough · Sep 28, 2009, 12:50 AM

Hi, Krs!

You can have anyone that you like to be a Godparent of some kind. Generally, these will be a person older than the child, also of legal age, (although, that also might vary, depending on the beliefs and practices of the particular religious organization), who presents a child at baptism and promises to be responsible for their religious education. The responsibilities of the Godparent will also vary, depending on the particular denomination and/or religious sect in which it's done.

What does your priest have to say about it, please?

Thanks!

Krs · Sep 28, 2009, 12:59 AM

Thanks clough, have not yet discussed this with a priest.

Im still pregnant.. but had this discussion with my husband and he is against putting my mother as god mother, is he being unreasonable?

He said that my mother is a grand parent and it don't make sense to have her as god mother as well..
He said he would rather have my brother and his sister as god parents. Now my mother already indirectly said she wants to be God Mother.

Im confused :(
Don't want to hurt my mother...

Clough · Sep 28, 2009, 01:15 AM

Hi again, Krs!

Personally, I don't see any problem with having one, two or even more Godparents for a child.

Would that be something that might work for you? If you do that, it might help to placate all who're involved here.

Thanks!

Krs · Sep 28, 2009, 01:19 AM

Will definitley have 2 god parents...
I pick one and he picks the other.

I feel like because he is agreeing to baptise the child even though he isn't catholic he is sort of picking on me for chosing my mum as 1 god parent.. he can pick the other of course.

I suggested his dad and he didn't want.. he said he would rather have his sister, again I feel he chose her because you wouldn't have 2 female god parents.
Regardless of age I personally think my mum can be god mother.

I don't understand him sometimes :(

Krs · Sep 28, 2009, 01:27 AM

He isn't so keen to have our child to come baptized... I agree I'm not a practising catholic but we live in a catholic country and I believe in my religion.
Also in future we would send our child to a catholic school as they are the best schools here and I think it would be unfair and selfish of me and husband if we didn't batpise the child just because of his beliefs, when at school other children would be doing the holy communion and confirmation and our child wouldn't just because my husband isn't catholic.. he still doesn't really agree with me :(

redhed35 · Sep 28, 2009, 01:28 AM

My own mother is god mother to my niece,and my brother in laws mother is the other god parent...

The role of god mother is important,but if your going to be torn between your mother and your husband,perhaps a compromise can be reached... perhaps, your mothers name for the child's middle name?

As clough said,maybe your can have 3 god parents?

See where your husband is willing to compromise,I know you said he has already,perhaps he will go a little further.

Krs · Sep 28, 2009, 01:30 AM

His compromise is baptizing the child...

My god parents are my fathers parents... and my brothers god parents are my mothers parents

As for middle name we agreed to have my fathers name for a boy or a girl as its mutual name, as my dad died 5 years ago

redhed35 · Sep 28, 2009, 01:39 AM

Your really stuck between a rock and a hard place...

OK,the way I see it,your husband has every right to say what's happens to his child,that's where your going to have to go..

Talk to your mother,and although she will be hurt,try and paint the picture that you will need her help with the baby,and you love her,but you have to respect your husbands feeings on the matter..

Krs · Sep 28, 2009, 01:41 AM

Yes your right I am...

Would it be uncool of me if I told my mum and husband to discuss this matter between them and reach a decission without me?

Thanks

redhed35 · Sep 28, 2009, 01:52 AM

really,I know you love your mother,but your loyalty is to your husband... your mother really is only in the equation because she wants to be god mother, she does not have to know what's going on,only that you and your husband have made the decision,as husband and wife.. your husband will appriciate your stand and even though your mother may be upset, she will understand.. she was once married to!

Krs · Sep 28, 2009, 01:55 AM

Its true...
I just don't want to hurt her...
And in the past - her mother in law was always interfering in the decissions my mum and dad took about these things so she may understand more where we are coming from...
We can always put my bro and his sister to keep it in the familly.

And as my husband said at the end of the day she out of everyone will have the closest interaction with the baby anyway as grand mother as we live close and will need her with me.

As well as my husband said and I see his point abit - he said a god parent should be someone younger - as god forbid something had to happen to us, the god parent will look after the child, as our parents are obviously older then us

Clough · Sep 28, 2009, 02:05 AM

Hi again, Krs!

Sorry about the delay. Phone got disconnected for awhile there.

I still don't see the problem with having two or even more Godparents.

I've understood that the Catholic Church might limit the number of Godparents that a child has. Don't really know if that's true or not. Even though there might be a limit, that doesn't mean that others couldn't be involved in Spirit and in Truth. These things are matters of the Heart and Faith, and not so much a matter of dogma...

I think that if certain people want to be Godparents and confess the same and also make a vow to do so, then it's okay.

I've been involved in many different denominations of the Christian faith because of part of what I do for a living. So, I'm more likely to take a more liberal view because of those things to which I've been witness.

Thanks!

Krs · Sep 28, 2009, 02:08 AM

Hi Clough, its OK :)

I personally think 2 god parents is enough. 1 from either side of family, a choice each.
Im just unsure whether you could have 2 of same gender.

Sometimes I think he is picking on my choice or if he really feels its not right to put a parent as god parent, as he disagreed when I mentioned his dad..

Unfortunately we don't always agree hehe...

Clough · Sep 28, 2009, 02:12 AM

How about the two of you sitting down with the priest to discuss this. Do you think that your husband would be willing to do that?

Thanks!

Krs · Sep 28, 2009, 02:15 AM

Yes I think so :)
As he did that for me when I chose to bless our wedding rings.

Clough · Sep 28, 2009, 02:23 AM

He's at least willing to give in some, then! That's good! :)

If you haven't already done so, you might want to consider discussing with him about the tradition concerning this with your family in the past and forming a tradition to possibly be carried on in the family that you're growing with him.

Thanks!