[FlutterBye]

I am seeking advice for my teenage son who is the father of a 7 month old son. Akron/Canton, Ohio. He was 17 and his girlfriend was 16 when she became pregnant. At this date, they are both 18 years old and seniors in high school. She and the baby have lived with us... myself, my husband and my son... over the last five months. She was 17 yrs old over a majority of that time. My son went to EVERY prenatal exam, was a FULL participant in his birth, took her to EVERY post-natal exam, and has been at EVERY pediatrician appointment and emergency stat-care visit. He is listed as the father on the birth certificate and his son is named after him... becoming a 4th. My son baths, feeds, changes diapers, washes bottles, shops for, plays with and obviously loves his son and takes full responsibility. The mother has another story. It has been over these last months that we have learned MANY different things about her. It is through these findings that we have tried to reach out for ANY information regarding a fathers rights. My son acknowledges his responsibilities and wants to be with his son. The mother is on government assistance (WIC, etc.)... even now! To this date, we do not know who her guardians are... were! We know her biological mother lives in another state.

Question?: Is my son persumed to be the father or should we get a DNA test? We would
Prefer to do it privately... even though we KNOW he is the father. Is it even
Necessary?

Should we consult a family law attorney? My son is afraid that she will take
His son out of the state!

Is there ANY information that is FAVORABLE regarding the teenage father!?

Thanks in advance for ANY information or advice that anyone can give us!

[twinkiedooter]

WIC is something she is entitled to. That is not government assistance, that is some program that's been in place for 30 years to be sure the mother eats properly and the child gets proper nutrition.

What is the problem with the mother? Is she using drugs, staying out late, etc? I don't understand your rationale that she would take the child out of state.

[ScottGem]

First, being on the birth certificate he is the legal father. He has all the rights for a father.

What I'm surprised at, is, if she applied for WIC that the state hasn't gone after him for child support.

Yes, you should consult a family law attorney. He may need to file for, at least, joint custody. That could prevent her from leaving with the child.

[FlutterBye]

WIC is something she is entitled to. That is not government assistance, that is some program that's been in place for 30 years to be sure the mother eats properly and the child gets proper nutrition.

What is the problem with the mother? Is she using drugs, staying out late, etc? I don't understand your rationale that she would take the child out of state.

Wow! Please re-read my posting. I think you most have missed something.
Thank You... look forward to your additional posts.

[Fr_Chuck]

If they are not living together, he needs to file for custody, or joiont custody or child support. It is possible that he will be paying child support

[twinkiedooter]

You said "The mother has another story. It has been over these last months that we have learned MANY different things about her."

That was all that you said plus not knowing about her guardian and mother living out of state.

So, what's different? I did re-read your posting twice before answering by the way.

And as Scott pointed out he should file for joint custody. Consult a good family attorney to draw up the paperwork and have a judge enter a joint custody order. Or if you don't want the mother involved in the child's life (for whatever reason you may have) then have the attorney file for full custody for your son. Your son will have to prove that the mother is unfit though for full custody.

[FlutterBye]

First, being on theb irth certificate he is the legal father. He has all the rights fo a father.

What I'm surprised at, is, if she applied for WIC that the state hasn't gone after him for child support.

Yes, you should consult a family law attorney. He may need to file for, at least, joint custody. That could prevent her from leaving with the child.

Thanks for your posting! NOW... I know why she received paperwork from CSEA! We haven't the slightest clue how this all works! We are just parents raising a son who has a son.. And, bending over backwards to help the mother. It breaks my heart. Yes, I always felt we needed to consult an attorney. Thanks again!

[FlutterBye]

Everyone... I am a new member looking for answers... be patient. First, these are 2 kids still in high school. Second, the mom was on "public, government, tax-payer assistance" before she was pregnant. We took her into our home when she was 17 years old... took care of all her needs. My son is a good father, and wants to be a father.

[FlutterBye]

You said "The mother has another story. It has been over these last months that we have learned MANY different things about her."

That was all that you said plus not knowing about her guardian and mother living out of state.

So, what's different? I did re-read your posting twice before answering by the way.

And as Scott pointed out he should file for joint custody. Consult a good family attorney to draw up the paperwork and have a judge enter a joint custody order. Or if you don't want the mother involved in the child's life (for whatever reason you may have) then have the attorney file for full custody for your son. Your son will have to prove that the mother is unfit though for full custody.

Yes... I also read your post "twice". I was looking for advice for my SON. I was obviously NOT looking to gossip about the baby's mother. I think my questions were fairly obvious. You should be able to read why anyone would be afraid of a "fickle teenager" up and leaving for another state with baby in tow! AND... if we didn't want the mom involved.. we certainly would not have become HER parents over all these months! Sorry to apparently disappoint you... you post is what we have run into way too many time... NOT ALL TEENAGE FATHERS ARE BAD! Sometimes things just look to good on the other side..

[FlutterBye]

If they are not living together, he needs to file for custody, or joiont custody or child support. It is possible that he will be paying child support

Well... we have basically supported the mother AND son. The mother was a minor and lived with us. Both parents are in school and live with my husband and I. Basically, my son WANTS to be a father to his son... the mother has problems that we haven't been able to handle. What are HIS Rights! That is all we would like to know...

Thanks!

[cdad]

Yes....I also read your post "twice". I was looking for advice for my SON. I was obviously NOT looking to gossip about the baby's mother. I think my questions were fairly obvious. You should be able to read why anyone would be afraid of a "fickle teenager" up and leaving for another state with baby in tow! AND....if we didn't want the mom involved..we certainly would not have become HER parents over all these months!! Sorry to apparently disappoint you....you post is what we have run into way too many time.........NOT ALL TEENAGE FATHERS ARE BAD! Sometimes things just look to good on the other side...!

Twinkiedooter is a respected member here. The weren't trying to solicit gossip. They were trying to get to the facts. This is a law board. You made staements that may have eluded to something else going on and those answers may be pertinent to the answer you will receive as far as how best to proceed. Understand that we often hear only one side of any story and try to help as best as we can. We are not paid to do this but research hundreds of hours to help those that come here.

As far as your son goes you should look into a lawyer and establish custody and support orders through the courts. The reason being is that since the child lives with both parents under one roof then he isn't likely to be charged with child support at this time. That is mostly up to the court system your going to have to deal with.

By having a custody order in place then that in effect keeps her from taking the child away and denying him visitation. She could be charged with kidnapping if she does this and crosses state lines.

The bottom line is he needs to get into court and affim his fatherhood because they aren't married and have plans in lace to handle the future.

[ScottGem]

First, I removed your personal attack. That has no place here. It was totally off base and unnecessary.

You obviously don't understand how a site like this works. You don't dictate how a person answers. Just because all you wanted to know was your son's rights doesn't mean we made need additional information to best help you. In your original post you mentioned that you were afraid she would disappear with the child. That opens a lot of questions as to her fitness. For example;if she has been receiving public assistance while you have been providing support for her, she could be committing fraud. And you could be accused of aiding and abetting that fraud!

The point is the more info we have the better help we can provide you. So get the chip off your shoulder and help us help you and your son and grandchild.

[FlutterBye]

First, I removed your personal attack. That has no place here. It was totally off base and unnecessary.

You obviously don't understand how a site like this works. You don't dictate how a person answers. Just because all you wanted to know was your son's rights doesn't mean we made need additional information to best help you. In your original post you mentioned that you were afraid she would disappear with the child. That opens a lot of questions as to her fitness. For example;if she has been receiving public assistance while you have been providing support for her, she could be committing fraud. And you could be accused of aiding and abetting that fraud!

The point is the more info we have the better help we can provide you. So get the chip off your shoulder and help us help you and your son and grandchild.

What are you referring too? Personal attack on WHO? And WHAT? Believe me... I KNOW how a site like this works! I am also Entitled to my opinion!

[ScottGem]

What are you referring too? Personal attack on WHO? and WHAT? Believe me...I KNOW how a site like this works! I am also Entitled to my opinion!

Excuse me? You don't think calling someone an idiot isn't a personal attack? May I direct you to the Terms of Service for this site:

Ask Me Help Desk - FAQ: Terms of Service, FAQ and How To Use This Site

And no, you clearly don't understand how a site like this works. That is clear by your posts.

Yes you are entitled to your opinion, but you are not allowed to insult and attack someone to express that opinion. That is a violation of our rules.

Everyone who has posted here has been trying to help you. We are all volunteers here. We volunteer our time and expertise to help others. And yes you do seem to have a chip on your shoulder by the way you have reacted to that help.

So read our rules and calm down so we can help.

[cdad]

Respected member..why? Thanks for posting and then getting offline!

Im still here. I just prefer not to be shown. And they are respected because they have offered good advice and have over 7,750 posts. When you have read this board on a daily basis you get a much different feel for it then just swooping in and posting.

Good luck with your and your sons situation.

[FlutterBye]

Im still here. I just prefer not to be shown. And they are respected because they have offered good advice and have over 7,750 posts. When you have read this board on a daily basis you get a much different feel for it then just swooping in and posting.

Good luck with your and your sons situation.

Sorry... didn't know you could go incognito! Anyway... did you read ALL my posts? Maybe YOU are way TOO familiar with Ms. Twinky brand of writing. I... may have misjudged! So sorry if I did, really... but I certainly DO NOT find her advice the least bit useful! And I think if you were to read it with fresh new eyes, you might also find it confrontational. Maybe?

[ScottGem]

Yes....you ARE right. I probably should have just wrote I*&^@t like everyone else does.

I am removing this latest post as well because you continue to attack. But I wanted to respond to the above quote. No that wouldn't have worked. Any vulgarity even masked like you illustrate would not be allowed.

If someone gives you advice you don't agree with you are free to ignore it. If you get advice that you feel is inaccurate, you can challenge that advice. In such a case, you stick to a civil discussion of the advice and you give the reasons what you think it inaccurate. I don't see anything wrong with the posts Twinkiedooter posted in this thread. But I do see a lot of problems in your responses.

[ScottGem]

Sorry....didn't know you could go incognito! Anyway...did you read ALL my posts? Maybe YOU are way TOO familiar with Ms. Twinky brand of writing. I...may have misjudged! So sorry if I did, really......but I certainly DO NOT find her advice the least bit useful! And I think if you were to read it with fresh new eyes, you might also find it confrontational. Maybe?

I have reviewed this entire thread and the only confrontational posts were from you. As to the incognito thing, not all of us remain online all the time. We may log in answer some questions and log off. This is a message board not a chat room.

[cdad]

Sorry....didn't know you could go incognito! Anyway...did you read ALL my posts? Maybe YOU are way TOO familiar with Ms. Twinky brand of writing. I...may have misjudged! So sorry if I did, really......but I certainly DO NOT find her advice the least bit useful! And I think if you were to read it with fresh new eyes, you might also find it confrontational. Maybe?

The sad part about law is that there really is no hard lines to follow. What works in one place may not go over at all in another courtroom. Law is based more on a grey area. It may read like that to you because its clear you love all the parties involved. The tough part about family court is that it loves no one. They one deal in provable facts and best interest of the child. So the fact that she started by asking questions isn't a surprise to me. I do know well enough that it wasn't a solicitation for gossip. There are so many things that can make a difference when apllying for custody it may surprise you. Sometimes asking the questions is more like having the doctor poke the sore you have and then asking if it hurts.

BTW welcome to AMHD.

[FlutterBye]

I am removing this latest post as well because you continue to attack. But I wanted to respond to the above quote. No that wouldn't have worked. Any vulgarity even masked like you illustrate would not be allowed.

If someone gives you advice you don't agree with you are free to ignore it. If you get advice that you feel is inaccurate, you can challenge that advice. In such a case, you stick to a civil discussion of the advice and you give the reasons what you think it inaccurate. I don't see anything wrong with the posts Twinkiedooter posted in this thread. But I do see a lot of problems in your responses.

OK... I will also give you that.. However, like I stated, I went over this site for a very LONG time before I decided to pose a question. People post that blatant Sh@t! I've seen it. And, I will NOT say that the above mention poster isn't posting stuff that I don't agree with. But you cannot say I am dealing with any attorneys. Just people "volunteers" giving their own opinion... good or bad! Not unlike myself.. So far, YOU have been the only barer of any kind of usable information.