[foreverpeace]

Okay, so me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 months. Not too long I know.. but we've been talking and seeing each other since April. We had a little break for a month but once he "realized what he wanted" we started talking again (in June.) I'm just going to start from the beginning so you guys can really help me out. I am 16 years old.. now just because of this I don't want you to give me advice based on my age. Im actually mature for my age so please, I don't want to hear anything about that. My boyfriend is 18. He added me on myspace before I knew him and I never even bothered to look at it, we had the same friends so I just accepted the request. One day I got a comment saying your so pretty! So I decided to check him out, he was cute :) so I commented back saying thank you. We exchanged numbers and started texting. Now I know what your all thinking.. TEENAGERS! Am I right? Hah. Oh well. One day I was at a friends house who actually knew the kid, said he was all right. So I decided to hang out with him. He came.. picked me up and we really hit it off. I thought he was the sweetest kid ever. After that we started hanging out a lot and talking a lot. He was too good to be true. Honestly. Until one day he told me he did not want to talk anymore. About a month later. He ended things.. out of random. I was SO upset. Well randomly in the summer I got a text from him saying, I really miss you I'm sorry I think we should start talking again. At first I said no. I am not getting effed over again, but eventually we hung out and my feelings were still there for him. He asked me to be his girlfriend in June. So here we are, 4 months later. OKAY whew. That was a lot. Now. He has his fair share of problems but he's getting help with them. He had a DUI but got his license back. He used to do drugs but he does not anymore. He gets drug tested every week and has to talk to someone about it a couple days a week. Things are a lot different then they were back then. He barely ever talks to me anymore and he will only hang out on weekends. I mentioned how this bothers me several times. His excuse.. "im in college now, college relationships are a lot different then highschool relationships" Which is BS I know. I just let it slide. Tonight, we were supposed to hang out, but not he had other plans. Things just aren't the same and I like him so much but he just does not treat me like he did. I have very big trust issues, and he admitted he cheated on his ex 3 times because she cheated on him all the time so he did it to get back at her. Which makes me SO nervous. I cheated on him one time when I was not in the right state of mind and he always pulls that one out on me. I am a virgin, and he's had sex with 6 diff. girls. Which is another thing that makes me nervous. But he tells me that there is no pressure at all with sex. Which is true because when we hang out there's no force with anything. He lives about 30 min. away which is another reason why its tough to hang out a lot. I guess since its only been 4 months I shouldn't take things so seriously, but if its starting this rough are things just going to get worse? Or will they get better as things get more serious? I don't want to ruin my high school years with this drama. I only have 1 more year left and I want to have a good time! He knows that I could easily get another guy which makes me think.. maybe he just wants to be with me to keep him to himself? I don't know, I would appreciate peoples opinions and advice on this relationship. I feel like he does not even care about me anymore. Someone help me out please! :confused:

[azif]

You need to do what is best for you

Weigh up the pros and cons of the relationship being reallistic
• a relationship needs trust which will obviously be hard for him
• as youbalready have cheated on him you should be really thinking about how much you do care for him

And then talk to him. Letting things fester is not an option as things will only get worse

My two cents.

[talaniman]

His excuse.. "im in college now, college relationships are a lot different then high school relationships" Which is BS I know. I just let it slide.

He is an adult among adults, and trying to build his future, yes it is a lot different from high school as he is responsible for himself. Given his past, he can't afford to screw up now, and really it's a good thing he seems to have learned his lesson and is straightening out his life.

He lives about 30 min. away which is another reason why its tough to hang out a lot.

Yes the distance does make it hard, as many adults have a problem with long distance relationships. Its hard to bond and grow together when the distance is between you.

I guess since its only been 4 months I shouldn't take things so seriously, but if its starting this rough are things just going to get worse?

Yes they will because your both dealing with two different worlds, and he has to seriously apply himself, which takes a lot of time and hard work. Plus you haven't known each other long at all and you may be seeing more into this than he does.

Or will they get better as things get more serious? I don't want to ruin my high school years with this drama. I only have 1 more year left and I want to have a good time!

Which is the reason you should be doing your thing and enjoying yourself because he seems busy getting his act together and staying out of trouble.

He knows that I could easily get another guy which makes me think.. maybe he just wants to be with me to keep him to himself?

I don't know what motivates him, but I do know that you haven't had that deep conversation so you both are on the same page and a lack of communications, plus the distance, is not the makings of a strong relationship.

I don't know, I would appreciate peoples opinions and advice on this relationship. I feel like he does not even care about me anymore. Someone help me out please! :confused:

I think you should be having a great time with others, who are doing the same thing, and leaving the serious stuff for later, when your better prepared, and it doesn't matter how mature you are, your still in high school, and not quite as ready for the hard cold world as yet. But you will be soon. If your as mature as you think you are, you can understand that, can't you? Wait for your time to be an adult. He doesn't have fun, and games on his mind.

That my advice, I hope it helps.