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paxe · Sep 28, 2009, 11:02 AM

Ha! I dated my ex a couple of month after I started college and SHE asked me out and kissed me (yea I know). I've been in electrical engineering ever since so not too many interesting people to meet and I have to learn from the beginning. But man! I'm having a blast meeting all new people, flirting... though school life finishes in 1 year and a half.

A4Effort · Sep 28, 2009, 11:04 AM

Funny, I have a year and a half left too.

paxe · Sep 28, 2009, 11:08 AM

Also in electrical engineering?

A4Effort · Sep 28, 2009, 11:10 AM

I came in wanting to be a mechanical engineer and then had a 360 moment and switched to Psychology hoping to be a child psychologist one day.

paxe · Sep 28, 2009, 02:03 PM

Yea that's 360 all right, you missed 4 years of intensive math, physics and 100% nerdiness with classes full of guys! How could you? Joking aside there must be tons of chicks in those classes... I wouldn't worry at all if I were you. Try and visit your local electrical engineering class, that's a whole new world.

A4Effort · Sep 28, 2009, 06:32 PM

Yeah, I don't have a problem finding girls. Not to be cocky or arrogant but in the last two weeks I was able to get four girls' phone numbers. But I need to wait and heal before I hop into another relationship. I want to be single for a little bit and explore. Then maybe, after a while I will try to find another girl who I could date for a while. I am a big commitment guy so it will take me a while to find a commitment girl in college. Either way, I'm going to have some fun and enjoy college before settling down.

A4Effort · Sep 28, 2009, 06:35 PM

But to be honest. Even though I finally came to the realization that we are never getting back together, I still feel like .

paxe · Sep 28, 2009, 07:23 PM

Well, yea it's quite normal to fee like sh**, but then again, it's part of the healing process. Look, when my ex broke up, I had diarrhea for 2 weeks, I started balding and I had a lot of white hair from the initial pain and shock. I guess you're doing fine for what happened to you, healing takes time, even 4 month later I'm still continuing my healing, sometimes I do feel down.

In the end of the day, we are taking the harder path so that we can become better person, the more obstacles life trows at us the better we get.

And 4 girls number? Damn, you've been doing actually pretty great. I prefer playing around with girls right now, just enjoying flirting, you need to take a LOT of time as a single, between 6 month to a year, especially since you're a commitment guy. Oh and don't think about girls too much, it could reflect on you.

A4Effort · Sep 29, 2009, 05:32 AM

I appreciate your input greatly since you were in the same boat and we are at the same stage in our lives.

This is wrong of me to think this way but I feel like I cannot be single for 6 months to a year because I know my ex will have found another by that time. This will hurt me tremendously and I feel like the only way I can protect myself from this is by finding another.

kctiger · Sep 29, 2009, 05:35 AM

You protect yourself by doing what's best for you. Continuing your education and making yourself more valuable to your family, friends and society in general. You DO NOT need another person to protect you from anything. Be the man you know you can be and do this on your own. It is that much more worth it in the end.

When I broke up with my ex I developed an almost "me against the world" mentality. Not that I blocked myself out, but it really motivated me to just bust my hump to get over this, without relying on another girlfriend to lean on.

A4Effort · Sep 29, 2009, 05:39 AM

I agree with you completely. Breaking up with her motivated me to do everything I am doing right now to my maximum capabilities. I am working even harder now to be a better student. I am training even more rigorously to become a better martial artist and teacher. I refuse to change and become like 95% of the college male population.

I just need someone to tell me this and that is just what you did. I thank you for that. It motivates me and makes me feel like I can conquer this.

kctiger · Sep 29, 2009, 05:43 AM

I admire your dedication. Keep that attitude and attribute with you. I have never been a relationship guy. I am a HUGELY solitary guy that loves to conquer challenges alone. When the right girl comes along, then hooray, but for now, it is all about tackling my goals.

You are a great guy that is extremely outgoing and motivated. Women will love that. Even if you are a commitment guy, that doesn't mean you have to commit to women. Commit to yourself, to your martial arts, education and whatever else you are passionate about. Do that, and I promise you that type of mentality will attract so many women that find you to be a true man... a true gentlemen. Good luck A4, I have FULL faith you will accomplish everything you wish to.

talaniman · Sep 29, 2009, 06:47 AM

I can't help but believe I found my wife, when I stopped looking for love, and started to do what made me happy.

paxe · Sep 29, 2009, 07:25 AM

It may look unimportant now, but school, family and friends are extremely important for a better life. I was going to get married with my ex at 23, even if I didn't want to. My grades and motivation went down the hill when I was with someone, so it's actually better not to be with anybody for now. Like me, you may think a lot about girls, don't and let life guide you. By the way, what martial arts are you doing? I've been doing kung fu choy li fut for 6 years and loving it.

talaniman · Sep 29, 2009, 07:43 AM

Girls are fun, date them all, and enjoy it while your doing your own thing... when your ready.

A4Effort · Sep 29, 2009, 08:53 AM

I will have to learn how to do this. Hahaha Since I have been in a relationship since college started. I do enjoy talking to girls and hanging out with them. It will be hard tokeep up the no contact rule since I have to classes with her but I will not sit with her and I will do my best to move on. I feel hurt but strong at the same time.

Paxe, I have been studying Taekwondo for 6+ years and currently hold a 2nd degree black belt. I enjoy it very much and is a big part of my life.

A4Effort · Sep 29, 2009, 10:33 AM

So I am in class with her right now. Sitting away from her for the first time. I feel like throwing up.

Plus there is a guy chatting it up with her and I want to shove a chair down his throat.

Move on move on move on

amicon · Sep 29, 2009, 10:39 AM

Yes though one but move on like you said its for the best.

unaffected · Sep 29, 2009, 10:43 AM

Originally Posted by A4Effort

So I am in clas with her right now. Sitting away from her for the first time. I am like throwing up.

Plus there is a guy chatting it up with her and I want to shove a chair down his throat.

Move on move on move on

Stay strong! You can do it!!

A4Effort · Sep 29, 2009, 01:25 PM

Wow, I just got out of class and my stomach was a tangled mess. I participated in class and had a meanigful discussion with the teachers/class. I did this to distract myself and to start focusing more on my school work. She kept on looking back at me discretley but I did not make any contact with her. We walked out of class near each other and all I could feel was tention. I walked about on my own. That hurt so much. But I kept on telling myself that she wants to date other men and not be with me which kind of/not really helped with staying strong.