[kazirika]

I just had a baby on aug 25 and the first few days I loved holding her and being around her I had lots of mommy love for her. Then after I ended up back in the hospital after getting an infection in my blood from the c section. I got really sick from it and my body was shutting down from it. Now that I'm better I can't stand the faces she makes (smiling is cute though) and the crying makes me want to be a deaf person my anger is getting ridiculous I hate being around her except when she's sleeping. My fiancé says I should hold her way more regardless if she vomits on me or poops on me... I know that's part of having a baby but I know how enraged ill get if it happens I don't want to hold her... :(

I am seeing a therapist to try and shed some light on this but I would like more input from many people.

Can anyone give me some tips on how to not be like this. (note: I have never been around babies in my whole life nor have I ever liked babies or children although I was looking forward to starting a family something happened somewhere that the mommy switch got turned off)... Or why I am like this?

[simoneaugie]

Some of us don't come with the mommy switch. I didn't. The infection you had was a setback though and post-partum depression can bring on all kinds of feelings, including anger at the baby.

Sometimes, the baby is having a problem and try as you might, solving it for them remains a mystery. They scream in discomfort and frustration. And you want to scream too.

Can you enlist some additional help from your fiancé? Having an older woman come by who has seen it all with kids helping can be fantastic. Babies cry.

One of my daughters used to throw fits in such a way that we thought her future career would be a traffic cop. It was hysterically funny at the time. Then a nurse pointed out that her body language said, "I'm hungry!"

Having not been exposed to infants your whole life is hard. Being a new mom is hard too. Give yourself some credit for all that you do. Taking care of a new human is both demanding and requiring of grace.

It may seem like an unending drudge. It isn't. Things change so fast with growing babies. It will get better. I found that when my children learned to express themselves in words, I liked them a lot more.

[LearningAsIGo]

Has your therapist mentioned postpartum depression?

I'm glad that you are seeking help - that is the best thing you can do! :)

Its perfectly natural to feel overwhelmed with a new baby - its never easy! Take it one day at a time and with help, it'll get easier and more natural every day. The love will grow from there.

[ang8318]

My first son was such an easy baby, never cried or fussed. I just had another son in July and he does nothing but cry, no matter what I do. Anyway, I do get frustrated sometimes too, to the point where I would just sit and rock him and cry. Now when I get super frustrated I set him down in his crib and leave the room for about 2 minutes. He cries, but I get a minute to gather myself and then I try again. Hang in there, it will get easier. My son is now 2 months old and he is starting to cry less and less. (The doc said he has Colic) My other son is now 21 months old and he is so much fun. When I have a really hard day with my baby I just tell myself to try to enjoy it because before I know it, he will be 2. Also, do you ever get time alone without the baby? That is important too!

[kazirika]

Just forgot to say she is a very quiet good baby she sleeps good eats well and barely ever fusses. My doctor says I have post partum depression. But because depression runs in the family so bad they want me on anti depressants. So I hope this gets better

[artlady]

Just forgot to say she is a very quiet good baby she sleeps good eats well and barely ever fusses. my doctor says i have post partum depression. but because depression runs in the family so bad they want me on anti depressants. so i hope this gets better

You are not alone.

Postpartum depression is more common than one would think but there are plenty of resources out there to help you.

I am giving you a link to find help in your immediate area.

This site I am referring you to has weekly chat sessions with experts in the field.

Your husband is correct in saying that the more you hold and interact with your baby the more your bond will grow.

If you are now taking antidepressants be aware of all potential side effects,including a worsening of your symptoms.
What is right for one person may not be effective for you.Take it at the same time every day for maximum efficiency.

Best of luck to you and try not to blame yourself for this.



Postpartum Support International