[arielvictoria]

alrighty well let me start by saying I think I have issues..
I randomly started cutting my arm a few weeeks ago not to like kill myself or whatevr but just because I was angry and it felt good I'm not the type to cut and its not for attention because the last thing I need is for anyone to see it.
I do poorly in school have been since I was little I recently moved with my mom and my step dad hates me and blames all the fights on me I cry myself to sleep almost every other night for no reason I just get these emotions and randomly start crying.
and then I get angry and take out my swutch blade knife and cut across my arm the outside not where the veins are but honestly I don't no how to deal with myself what's wrong with me?
:(:confused:

[shazamataz]

You are not weird and you are not alone.

Do you have a counselor at your school?

You really need to sit down and havea good chat with a professional counselor.
Now I know most people think that the whole experience woule be too embarrassing or scary but it really isn't.
Trust me, it will be the best thing you have ever done.

[arielvictoria]

Thanks well I would ask my mom if could go to a councelor but then shed start questioning me and telling me I have no reason to go to counceling and that would also piss of my step dad too.
I had counceors in the past but we kept moving
I think another reason why I'm so angry and stressed and the reasin why I'm doing this I think its because my mom and step dad don't let me go out have people over or use the phone I made a couple phonecalls to a friend in victoria where I used to live and he looked at the phonebill saw numbers he didn't recognize and he freaked out at me and said I'm a lier and then he got into a screaming fight with my mom choked her and shoved her against the wall and pushed me down twice all for no reason that's the reason why I cut my arm the other night because all that happened on the weekend and its hard seeing your mom get hurt you know.
And he was freaking out about how I don't work even though him and my mom are the ones who tlel me I can't get a job because they need me to babysit every single day. My days are like this : I wake up have a shower do ym school work till 230 when my mom goes to work babysit till 6 when my step dad comes home but he doesn't have anything to do with my bro and sis so I'm still pretty much babysitting and if I go upstairs to do my hmework or sumthign he gets mad at me and tells me he doesn't need my help and stuff whitch is harsh.
They don't give me money for my babysitting nothing so I'm really stressed I'm a 16 year old girl I need friends I need a social life and I can't rely on facebok or msn to help with that its not the same you know ?
I didn't even have a summer holiday I sent the whole summer INSIDE babysitting my brother and sister I went out to the beach once... with my mom and bro and sis how fun is that ?
I've been doing this since may and my anger keeps building up I haven't blown up oncee oi just keep to myself I think that's why I take it out on myself at night when I'm alone and have time to think about it.
Grrr...
Are you sure that's not weird?

[Clough]

Hi, arielvictoria!

What sort of good things are happening in your life, please?

Thanks!

[spoilsport]

See a counsellor as soon as possible. Throw awaya ll baldes or sharp things away from your room . Try and identify what triggers you and avoid it. See a doc. Dream of good pleasant things everyday..

[carlee611]

[

In My Opinion your are not WEIRD
Being treated like that by any parent who you are supposed to be able to look up 2 and be able to talk 2 and share your problems with doesn't make you weird.
Your not the one with the problem obviously he's the one with the issues and he is making his problems yours!
From past experience I know how good it feels when you hurt yourself because of somebody else, but believe me its not the ansa! He's already hurting you, so why harm yourself because of him?.
That is no life for somebody your age. You should be out socialising with friends and having fun, not in the house looking after your younger siblings because that is not your duty and shouldn't be your role in the household..
I think you really need to talk to somebody about this instead of keeping it bottled up. Get it of your chest.. yes if you do see a professional your mom will have to know but at least then you won't be feeling like this on your own you can share it with someone close to you and oviously she is there most of the time so she knows what your stepdad is like tawards you. By the sounds of it , it could get her in trouble.. but you should really talk to somebody because I bet there;s plenty of people who are going through similar situations your not onb your own!

[arielvictoria]

Wow thanks for all the replies ill see what I can do about a councelor I don't know how its going to work out but its worth a try.
And the good things in my life hmmm id have to say my little 4 year old sister who lives with me she's my half sister and my only sister and she means the wolrd to me that's why I haven't left my moms I could have said screw it all and left a long time ago but I don't want to be away from my sister.
Another good thing in my life is my mom helping me out with all my schooling that's also a reason why I'm here because in the past I screwed around a lot and now she's helping me get back on track and its working.
Uuhm those id have to say are the only good things happening in my life everything else has gone to I've missed all my friends birthdays I haven't celebrated my birthday since I was 13 and ill be 17 in 39 days that's a long time for a kid to not have a birthday... iv spent one halloween with my friends because I always give it up to take my little sister trick or treating.
Try spending every day being a teenager inside taking care of kids and listening to them cry and whine all day it's the most irritable thing on the planet.
Anyway ill see if I can get up the nerve to ask my mom to let me see a councelor I might do it but I'm not sure yet.
Thanks for all the replies I really appreciate it.
Thanks.

[danielnoahsmommy]

She may be a troll. Her other posting is in regards to pregnancy, lots of sexual Partners, rough sex etc. does not sound like the same girl

[Clough]

Hi again, arielvictoria!

You're 16 years old.

Correct?

Thanks!

[arielvictoria]

Yess that would be correct and the reason for my other post about being pregnant is because I went to victoria for a weekend had sex unprotected and every other day I'm stuck here.

[Clough]

Hi again, arielvictoria!

So, are you going to keep having sex while not using protection, please?

Thanks!

[arielvictoria]

Nopee I'm not and I know I don't have any STI'S or STD'S because I got a full body exam about a month ago and since then I've only had sex with the one guy a couple weeks ago.
Just a question can you start getting acne on your face if your pregnant I've never ever in my life got acne ever and the last few days I have a bunch on my face and I looked it up and apperently iu can get acne becsuse your bodies changing and hormones and ..
I don't know maybe I'm just stressed and freaking out about it. Maybe its nothing.
Since we had sex sept 11th how much longer do I have to wait till I can ake a home pregnancy test there's so many different answeers I just want a straight up answer.

[ohsohappy]

First hun, I seriously recommend you throw out your knives or any type of blade.
Second, Is there any way that you can talk to your mother without your stepfather being around? And tell her how you feel? Do you trust her?

Also, As far as the sex thing goes, just because a full body exam said you were fine a month ago, does not mean that you'er fine now when you had sex with a boy two weeks ago. You never know if he's telling the truth about who he's been with, so just one guy does not mean that you are safe from STD's
And pregnancy, yes, you can get acne. My sister had really bad break-outs when she was pregnant.
But you also can get acne from high stress levels and if you're about to start your period.

If you miss your period, then would be the time to take a pregnancy test, you could get a better result that way.
Keep in mind that they're not always 100% accurate though.
Also, when you take your pregnancy test, take it when you first pee in the morning, you'll have a better chance of getting more accurate results that way.

[arielvictoria]

Okaaay and I know I'm not expecting my period any time soon not for another 2 weeks at least or something like that I last had it on the 9th of September soooo we'll see I guess and no I can't talk to my mom she's a nurse and she's getting a job at a sexual health clinic but if she had any idea what's going on with me shed rip my head off.
Id rather tell my dad because he doesn't give a what I do and he's delt with things like this before with all my social workers and councelors and police and all that bull a little while ago. But I think ill wait till I'm expecting my period then ill talk to him if its serious.
Thanks for your reply.

[ohsohappy]

id rather tell my dad because he doesnt give a s*** what i do and hes delt with things like this before with all my social workers and councelors and police and all that bulls*** a little while ago. .

When you type in swear words, the website automatically makes them invisible, just to let you know. I changed the rest of the word to *** so it's still "readable"

Anyway, It's not a good thing that your dad doesn't give a s***
I'm sure he does, he's just desensitized to it. And as far as your mother is concerned, she might be mad at you, but it's because she's worried about you. She can help you.

Also, you didn't answer the questions in my last post, please do so that I can give mor ehelpful answers as to your delimma.

[arielvictoria]

Sorry which question was it? Lol

[ohsohappy]

Is there any way that you can talk to your mother without your stepfather being around? And tell her how you feel? Do you trust her?

[arielvictoria]

I could talk to her when he's not around but I don't want to talk to her I don't tell my mom anything we have nothing incoommon at all she has a different opinion about everything.
I wouldn't want to talk to her and she's seen the cuts or scars on my arm and never said anything so I keep doing it sometimes I feellike I want her to see it and pretend it was an accident like letting her see it was an accident.. but then again shell probably think I'm an idiot and think of it as nothing.
I kind of trust her but shell probably go and tell her mom and my aunts about my behavior and I don't like my family knowing tat kind of stuff about me like its personal :( she doesn't give a **** about keeping things to herself really.

[ohsohappy]

I can understand why that would bother you, It's embarrassing.
You definitely need to find SOMEONE to talk to, in person. We can't give you all the help you need just from a website. If you can't talk to your mom, talkto somebody.

It seems like your mom is a submissive woman, she's probably scared to speak up because of your step father.

It sounds like he's probably the core problem. You need to get help.

[arielvictoria]

Why is everything so complicated..
Uugghh... :(