[ohsohappy]

why is everything so complicated.. ?
uugghh... :(

There is a song by modest mouse, I don't remember the name of it righ toff hand, but a line from it says
"As life gets longer, awful feels softer, and it feels pretty soft to me, and if it takes s*** to make bliss, well I feel pretty blissfully"

I kind of ignored some of the lyrics around this line, but to me, it says that as life gets longer, you learn to deal with difficult situations bettr, so it's not as bad as it feels.

That's how I interpreted it.
Just trying to throw words of comfort your way.

[arielvictoria]

awe well thank youu <3 =)
when I joined this site I wasn't expecting to get so many nice/helpful replies.
thanks everybody :D

[danielnoahsmommy]

Without a gyno exam, including their screening process as well as blood work drawn,there is no way to tell what or if you have an std or aids. Some std's as well as aids take some time to show up. Best of luck!

[Clough]

Hi again, arielvictoria!

Are you into anything in the arts like writing, theater, painting, drawing or music, please?

Thanks!

[ohsohappy]

awe well thank youu <3 =)
when i joined this site i wasnt expecting to get so many nice/helpful replies.
thanks everybody :D

I know it's rough. I had a pretty rockey life from about 10 till I was 16. I didn't always handle things the way I should have, because I was young and unexperienced (I still am to some degree) But what I decided to do is take from it what I learned and incoorperate it into my own life.
If there was something that I saw or experienced that I did not agree with, I made a conscious decision not to live my life that way.
Don't live your life as a victim hun, It hurts now, but if you open your eyes, you can learn a LOT from this experience.
I think you should do what Clough says, and start writing. If not for art or literature, just to get all of your thoughts down, That's what I did and it helped a lot. It will also help you stop cutting. You will feel SO much better when your thoughts and emotions are out on paper insteead of trapped inside. It will help you understand where you are at mentally and emotionally as well. Nobody has to see them. I wish I could show you my journal from when I was your age.

I suggest you get a nice sturdy one and start filling up the pages. If you can find a bookstore near you, they usually have hard back ones that are pretty durable. You can take it to school with you and when you have free time, write something down if need be. Keep some post-it's too if you don't have time to right down the whole thought, and just write down a reminder of what you were going to say and stick it in your journal for later.

I promise, you'll start feeling better emotionally. Even if things aren't going well at home, you can at least try to help yourself in that way. :)

[trina1123]

HI again
I have looked at your other posts and I am a little concerned. You say that you have to stay at home with screaming,whiney kids but yet you're having unprotected sex. I'm not here to judge you but it seems weird that you continue to have unprotected sex. It looks like you want to have a baby. Babies are a great joy and I am proud mother of a 2yr old boy,but I got pregnant at the age of 17. I dropped out of school due to an illness I was diagnosed with while I was pregnant with him and it wasn't fun at all. I missed out on homecoming dances,and prom. I wanted to continue playing bball and tennis but couldn't do those either. Yes babies will bring you love but you also have to have money to raise them. Diapers,formula,clothes,and other things cost a lot these days and yes you can get help from the state but it's not enough. So think before you act. You'll miss out on all the good times of high school and you won't be able to go back in time.

[Sylvanta Sybil]

Hi ArielVictoria, your stepdad sounds very abusive and it's actually a domestic offense. You should get some serious help. You're very young and the world is ahead of you --- you can't miss out on all that! :)

(everyone, please don't judge her.)

[arielvictoria]

I've said it before but ill make it clear again.
I've been stuck at my moms with all that horrible stuff since may . Everyday I don't even get to go for a walk for more then 30 minuts.
My mom let me go to my dads house for a weekend and that weekend I went and hung out with some really good friends and ended up having sex with him. That was one time that I've ever been allowed to do anything since I've been here.
So I'm not lying I wouldn't be on here posting this stuff if I didn't want to ask questions or get info or help.
I'm not a lyer and I'm not looking for attention. :(

[ohsohappy]

I don't think you are either. It's good that you're looking for help. I really do think that you need to look somewhere else as well, such as a councelor or teacher or soemthing. We can only do so much over the internet. Good luck. :)