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babyshooter6 · Sep 21, 2009, 07:22 PM

It's been almost a year since my ex and I split up. I've grown so much since then and I can honestly say that I don't want him back. But I don't know why I'm still hurting. I made the mistake of looking at his myspace about a week ago. He's living in California now and is engaged to a girl. I couldn't help but think "Wow, this girl is so pretty." The thing that worries me is that I think I might be jealous of her. I really just want to move on. I feel like it's really time for me to move on but I don't understand what is holding me back. I haven't spoken to my ex in 9 months. Can anybody help me?

HellHound82 · Sep 21, 2009, 09:28 PM

These things take time, there is a girl I haven't spoken to in about 5 years and sometimes I still think about her... just got to realise you are better off without them

InfoJunkie4Life · Sep 21, 2009, 10:30 PM

Thinking about someone in your past is natural and common. I have been in a relationship for nearly two years now, and on occasion find myself remembering another girl. That piece of your heart is gone and the memories will always be there.

You can't move on, unless you know that you have closed that chapter. Looking back is okay, but not trying to go back, or even wishing. Every regret you have will pin a piece of you to your past, forgive yourself for what you have done wrong and then let it be.

You will never forget this person, and will always love them on some level, but you can't let that control you. Just focus on today and that's enough. The past is already taken care of, and tomorrow will be taken care of when you get there.

Good Luck, and stay strong.

ohsohappy · Sep 21, 2009, 10:36 PM

You spent a lot of your time devoted to this man, you will never forget him entirely. But you will heal if you realize that there is a reason you aren't together anymore. Heck, I still think about my exes. Some of my memories are good, others not so good. THe important thing is that I don't carry those relationships around with me. Make room for a new one.

busterite · Sep 22, 2009, 03:38 AM

Don't let anything worry you, it sounds like you have the right mindset and are on the right track. Just keep doing what you have been doing the past 9 months and let time take care of things. The best analogy I had come across while going through a similar situation was that a breakup leaves a wound which with time and care will heal. It won't hurt anymore and the scar will only remind you another one of life's experiences and guide you through your future choices

I wish · Sep 22, 2009, 06:25 AM

Originally Posted by babyshooter6

I made the mistake of looking at his myspace about a week ago. He's living in California now and is engaged to a girl.

That's why you're still hurting. You might not want him back, but you're not 100% over him. Why would you go into his MySpace if you haven't fully recovered yet? You're just hurting yourself. Now you have to reset much of the progress you've made over the past year.

Just focus on your own life. Don't worry about his life anymore. I also strongly suggest that you block him from your MySpace, so that you don't get tempted to go to his page again.

none12345 · Sep 22, 2009, 06:33 AM

The heart doesn't just forget about someone, it takes time to heal only if you let it.

kctiger · Sep 22, 2009, 06:38 AM

I think you are doing better than you give yourself credit for. I can imagine if I heard news of my ex getting engaged it would probably bring up some old feelings too, that is just natural. No worries. Just get back to living your own life and leave the myspace and other stuff out. You'll be fine.

babyshooter6 · Sep 23, 2009, 09:04 PM

Originally Posted by busterite

Dont let anything worry you, it sounds like you have the right mindset and are on the right track. Just keep doing what you have been doing the past 9 months and let time take care of things. The best analogy I had come across while going through a similar situation was that a breakup leaves a wound which with time and care will heal. It wont hurt anymore and the scar will only remind you another one of life's experiences and guide you through your future choices

I like your analogy. :)

talaniman · Sep 24, 2009, 08:47 AM

Your not brokenhearted, your just having your feelings stirred up AGAIN, by seeing what he is doing on Facebook.

It will pass if you let it, and keep moving forward.

Love__Hurts · Jan 5, 2011, 11:52 PM

You have to understand that once you love somebody you always will. I know its kind of hard because your mind is saying no but your heart is saying yes, but u just have to remember what made you break up and u just have to move on. He will always be in your heart but you shouldn't let him affect any other relationships or how you feel about other people :)