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darknessandmist · Sep 21, 2009, 11:04 AM

I am 20 and my breasts have been sagging since I was 18, when I lost a lot of weight. My boyfriend has for quite a long time been asking me(frequently) if I could get a breast lift done in the future. As of now I don't have the money but should I consider this in the future? Is he being reasonable? I know I look bad because of the drooping boobs but I don't feel comfortable with the idea of getting surgery done. I have told him this but I know he finds the boobs really unattractive and I suppose most other guys would find it a dealbreaker?

paxe · Sep 21, 2009, 11:08 AM

It's your own body, you shouldn't do something you are not comfortable with. And you especially shouldn't do something to your own body to please him. It seems quite selfish on his part, would he get a surgical penis enlargement if you asked him?

darknessandmist · Sep 21, 2009, 11:10 AM

But isn't this a problem I would face with future bfs if I leave him? Guys would find it a turn off

paxe · Sep 21, 2009, 11:50 AM

It depends on the guys, I don't really look at breast to determine if a women is hot or not. It's a matter of which types of guys you want to be with. My ex had quite a lot of physical problems but I didn't tell her anything because I loved her as she was. Besides you can always fool men by putting push up bra.

As guys we also have insecurity issues so don't worry about that. You should be confident and that is a huge turn on.

adam_89 · Sep 21, 2009, 11:55 AM

I really think you should do what you want to do. You probably have in your mind what you want to do right? Which you said you don't feel comfortable with getting surgery, so don't do it.
If he really loves you then he can live with it. If not another guy will love you for your other qualities instead of your breast. I think he is just being selfish.

hheath541 · Sep 21, 2009, 11:55 AM

Any guy who finds something as minor as that a dealbreaker isn't worth your time or consideration.

Has he been telling, or even implying, you that no other guy would want to be with you because of it? If so, then that is a clear sign of a controlling personality and emotional manipulation and abuse. I would strongly suggest reconsidering any relationship with someone who wants you to change the way you look just to please them.

darknessandmist · Sep 21, 2009, 12:04 PM

Men on other forums have said that most men would be turned off

BABYGIRL09 · Sep 21, 2009, 12:15 PM

Well... I suggest that you do what makes you comfortable. Are you comfortable with your breasts? If you are, then I am sure some young man will come along who will accept you for who you are. If he truly loves you, he will realize its not your fault. Talk about it and make a decision together- as long as it makes you comfortable.

earthmama · Sep 21, 2009, 12:15 PM

If,you are comfortable with your body then,you are blessed because most women aren't.He want's you to have an invasive and possibly dangerous surgery.AND he expects you to pay for it? What a jerk.You are young. I hope that you'll find a kind man and lose this dude.good-luck.

hheath541 · Sep 21, 2009, 12:19 PM

Originally Posted by darknessandmist

men on other forums have said that most men would be turned off

Then they are shallow, insensitive, idiots. Anyone who truly cares about you won't let something so petty ruin a relationship.

That being said, surgery on your breasts at this point in your life is not a good idea. There is still a very good chance that your breasts will grow for the next several years. I'm almost 23 and have gained almost 2 cup sizes in the last 2-3 years.

88sunflower · Sep 21, 2009, 12:19 PM

Who cares if they are sagging. So you lift them for him. He will find something else on you not good enough. What if your butt gets to big, what happens if your hair turns grey or falls out, what happens... if he doesn't love how you are now then find someone who does. He is young. You will learn as you grow older life happens. Your body changes, babies are born, age, sickness or whatever it may be. Someone will love you for those changes and I can tell you it won't be him.

redhed35 · Sep 21, 2009, 12:25 PM

Originally Posted by darknessandmist

men on other forums have said that most men would be turned off

I want to tell you something,I have had 4 children and breast fed them all,I have stretch marks that look like a map on my body,I was also burned when I was younger,I was also once 17 stone and lost that weight...

Last night I stood fully naked in full lighting and said to my boyfriend,are you ready for bed..

He did not puke at the sight of me,he did not cringe,he chased me up the stairs...

Be confident in yourself it shines through,sexyness is a state of mind.

stevetcg · Sep 21, 2009, 12:42 PM

I don't have anything to add about getting them done... that's a personal choice.

However, if you do, I would wait until you have finished having kids. That is going to take a bit of a toll on the goodies and likely undo anything you have done now.

My wife wants to have hers done. I would love it if she did. But it won't change how I feel about her even one bit. But it will help her feel more confident in her appearance... and you can't put a price tag on that. In short - if he loves you he will love you no matter what.

Synnen · Sep 21, 2009, 01:07 PM

Tell him to go screw himself.

If YOU do not want to do this, then you absolutely should not.

It's NOT a deal-breaker. MOST women's breasts are not that perky after a bit--and the bigger they are to start with, the less the likelihood that they'll stay perky.

Ask him if he's willing to have unnecessary surgery on his penis to please you. Bet the answer is not only "no", but "HELL, no!"

Bottom line: Do what makes YOU comfortable with your body. Any guy that decides that not having perfect boobs is a dealbreaker isn't worth having---because what happens if you get breast cancer and lose them both? Should you be worth less for not having perfect breasts THEN?

If he'd abandon you for that, then he's not worth you to start with.

ohsohappy · Sep 21, 2009, 01:12 PM

If you're that self conscious about it, Just try a nice push-up bra. It's better then cutting up your body just because a temporary boyfriend feels like it's un-attractive. Your breasts do not make you into a woman, you could have boobs the size of a walnut and you'd still be beautiful. What matters is how you feel about yourself. If you exude confidence and your wonderful personality, it will outshine anything that people would pick at on the outside. Really.

darknessandmist · Sep 22, 2009, 01:44 AM

I suppose not every guy would tell me that he's turned off, but it certainly would be a turn off though?

stevetcg · Sep 22, 2009, 04:43 AM

I would not consider it a turn off... but also not a turn on. Love has little to do with your breasts though and if it's that much of an issue with him, he has bigger issues.

Synnen · Sep 22, 2009, 05:55 AM

Honey, after weight fluctuation and having had a baby, my DDD breasts are no longer "perky" and require a good support bra to be where they're supposed to be.

My husband can't get enough of them.

Believe me--it's NOT about your boobs. It's about finding a guy who appreciates you for YOU.

You should, however, see a counselor about your insecurities---THOSE are a bigger turn-off for most people than sagging boobs would be.

hheath541 · Sep 22, 2009, 07:32 AM

Originally Posted by darknessandmist

I suppose not every guy would tell me that he's turned off, but it certainly would be a turn off though?

No guy worth being in your life would be turned off by something so trivial. In 10 or 20 years your breasts would start to sag anyway, if you have anything larger than a B cup. Would you get the same procedure done again then to fix something that happens naturally over time.

Would you get a nose job just to please a guy? It's the same concept.

excon · Sep 22, 2009, 07:44 AM

Originally Posted by darknessandmist

men on other forums have said that most men would be turned off

Hello darkness:

The best piece of a$$ I ever had was from the ugliest girl I knew. Funny - after a while she didn't look so ugly.. In fact, she looked damn pretty. You need to find yourself a guy like me.

excon