[Brutus McDufus]

I'm 20 years old and I go to a community college. I work full time in the day so I take night classes. In these night classes most of my classmates are older adults/parents so I don't really get to meet many girls my age.
In my science class this semester there happens to be a girl around my age that I think I'd like to get to know better, but I don't even know how to go and talk to her?
We've already been assigned seats/lab partners and they are permanent.
I sit across the room from her and everyday in class I tell myself I should try and find a way to talk her rather than never doing so like I've done in previous classes where there was a girl or two I never even said hello to.
Last week I blew a really good oppurtunity to talk to her when I noticed she had a high school shirt on of the city I just moved to.
That could have been an great conversation starter but for some reason I have a dumb worry that some of our classmates would catch on that I'm trying to hook up with her or something and point it out making me look like a moron.
If you could please give me some advice as to
How I can start talking to her? Boost my confidence? Overcome the fear of what other people might say or think? If I do start talking to her then what?

[Clough]

Hi, Brutus McDufus!

For one thing, I wouldn't worry about what others think if I was you.

What is the particular science subject matter of the class that you're in with her, please?

Thanks!

[I wish]

I'm sure you get off at the same time? Unless it's a lab and you leave whenever your lab is done?

Try catching up to her after class. Walk and talk together and see where that leads. You're in the same class, so it's an automatic icebreaker.

If you're so shy, then try something simplie like: "Hey, how's it going? How are you finding this class so far?" See how she responds and take it from there.

Take it one step at the time. Don't get too far ahead of yourself.

[Brutus McDufus]

The class is physical science. We learn a subject then the next class we do a lab with an experiment about the subject.

We can leave when the lab is done and when we're not doing a lab the teacher usually holds us to last minute.

I also have a class immediately after this one.

[Clough]

Hi again, Brutus McDufus!

What do you think of the suggestions that I wish gave to you, please?

Thanks!

[Brutus McDufus]

I could try and catch up to her after class and just be a couple minutes late to my next class.

That might be the best thing to do

[dorky]

My advice is not to worry about what others think, cause If you want to talk to that girl you can! Maybe see where she goes after class and talk to her in the hallway or after school? Make it look like a spontanious conversation, you could still bring up the t-shirt, cause it makes her understand you're interested and actually noticed that!
Good luck

[unaffected]

Hi Brutus :)

Try to not be so concerned with what the others in the class think. You said most are older adults and parents, so they probably won't even think twice if they saw you two chatting a bit after class. And if they did think twice, I'm sure they wouldn't be thinking anything negative. So, don't worry about them!

Secondly, I think I Wish gave great advice in trying to talk to her after class. You said you have a class right after, but that might be good, because then you have a way to get out of the conversation if needed.

You may have to wait a couple days until you can get the timing right and be near her when you leave class, but when that happens, you should just introduce yourself (if necessary... depends on how big your class is and all that), and just strike up some small talk. Then you can tell her how nice it was to talk to her, but you have to be off to your other class.

A couple after-class conversations will help build your confidence and you can eventually ask her out, if you so wish.

Best of luck!

[Brutus McDufus]

Thanks for all the advice everybody. Hopefully I won't chicken out and I'll try talking to her tonight or within the next couple classes. I'll keep you all updated on what happens.

[Clough]

Hi again, Brutus McDufus!

We'll look forward to hearing what happens!

Thanks!

[CFZD]

That could have been an great conversation starter but for some reason I have a dumb worry that some of our classmates would catch on that I'm trying to hook up with her or something and point it out making me look like a moron.

You just want to start a conversation and get to know her a bit more ( not dating yet), why would people think you are a moron?

You might not even want to date her, so don't look too far or expect much. At the first it will be just a simple conversation, not that you are going to ask her number and ask if she is single yet. Don't limit yourself, OP. Just b.c. she is around your age and you can meet her at class, doesn't make her a potential girlfriend.

[Brutus McDufus]

Of course I just want to start a conversation with her and get to know her a little before anything. My only expectation is being able to talk to her and her repsonding. If I can at least do that I will be satisifed enough even if I can never date her. She probably has a boyfriend anyway and I'll still be the loser I am.

People wouldn't think I'm a moron, I would fell like moron because they mite say something like quit flirting

[I wish]

You should spend some time building some self-esteem and confidence. Here are some suggested books:
The Guide to Self-Help Books – Recommended Self-Help Books - Self-Help Book Reviews
Amazon.com: Self-Help Books: Personal Transformation, Motivational, Success, Stress Management, Happiness, Self-Esteem

You haven't even said "hi" to her and you assume that people will think that you're hitting on her and that you're a loser/moron.

Take a few steps back. First of all, you are allowed to talk to women. You're allowed to make friends with women. She's in your class and there isn't anyone else that is your age, so you already have soemthing in common, so it would make sense that the two of you have a chance to be friends.

If you already want to be her boyfriend/husband, before you even say hi to her, then you need to slow right down.

[starlitnit]

First of all you need to realize that you are not in High school anymore and that the people that you go to class with (including yourself) are all mature adults that are not going to criticize or make fun of you for making small talk with a women your age. What's the worst thing that can happen if you approach her and offer to buy her a cup of coffee after class? Even if she says no, you need to know that there are many fish in the sea and you will eventually meet the one. Good luck!

[Brutus McDufus]

I recently read a couple self help type books:

One was Self Reliance and Other Essays by Ralph Waldo Emerson. This one isn't much of a self help but gives great insight on yourself and the world around you.

The second was Twenty Someone Finding Yourslef In A Decade of Transition by Craig Dunham & Doug Serven. This was an excellent book that gave a great deal of advice on just about everything.

It is true that I might not even want to date her, she might not be what I'm looking for as a girlfriend.
BUT what I need is to TALK TO HER. I need some kind of interaction with the opposite sex.
I posted this in Dating not Relationships.
I'm not going be able to get to know someone by just talking to them a few times after class for a couple minutes.

I've gotten over the fear of other people by talking to all of you AND the worst that could happen is she might not want anything to do with me and I'll be exactly where I am at right now.

In the last class I wasn't able to catch up with her because the teacher was checking off my lab as she left. Now I'll have to wait till Monday because the class is only on Monday and Wednesday nights. Another uninteresting weekend of video games and homework until then.

[DerelictHerds]

It is true that I might not even want to date her, she might not be what I'm looking for as a girlfriend.
BUT what I need is to TALK TO HER. I need some kind of interaction with the opposite sex.
I posted this in Dating not Relationships.
I'm not going be able to get to know someone by just talking to them a few times after class for a couple minutes.

The next time the opportunity opens, go for it. Say hello and BS around. Smile lots. Take things slow. Focus on a friendship, not a relationship. If you feel the conversation went well, ask if she would like to go out and do something. But SPECIFY a time and place. Don't say "Want to go out some time?". Think of a place that would give you two a friend vibe and specify it in the question. Coffee would be perfect. "Want to join me for some coffee on *the next time you're free*?" If she says yes, ask for her number then. If she says no, make sure you show that it doesn't affect you. After all, this is only to get to know each other. If she's unwilling to get to know you, then NEXXXXT.

I've gotten over the fear of other people by talking to all of you AND the worst that could happen is she might not want anything to do with me and I'll be exactly where I am at right now.

Like I said, if she's unwilling to get to know you, NEXXXT. Tell her all right, that's cool, have a good night. Smile. Go about your business.

In the last class I wasn't able to catch up with her because the teacher was checking off my lab as she left. Now I'll have to wait till Monday becuase the class is only on Monday and Wednesday nights. Another uninteresting weekend of video games and homework until then.

Come on maaaan. No weekend should be just video games and homework. Get a group of friends together and go out to a movie or something fun. Mix genders. Tell friends to bring other friends and meet at a place. Maybe there's a chance you will come in contact with another girl you could get to know :)

[paxe]

First off, you are in class once you do get the conversation started things will become much more natural, she may not be attracted to you first so start with the friendship thing.
Anyhow before you talk to her, are you well dressed? Did you take care of yourself? It's very important to women. Secondly, do you look at her often and do you smile at her? That is very important, tease her a bit before making your move.

Now the good part: talking to her. When I talk to a girl, I don't show that I'm interested, I try to make it as casual as possible and make THEM want to talk to me. Since you are passing a weekend... well playing video games and homework ( and by the way what's wrong with video games? ), you have plenty of time to think of a subject that could have momentum. Always keep a smile when you're talking to her and girls love it when you talk to them (except the very closed minded one).
Just notice anything about her or just make some small talk, it all depend on the situation though.

[Brutus McDufus]

Nothing is wrong with video games. Playing video games is how I stay in contact with my friends, who all have as busy schedules as I do. I like my weekends, I just feel like I'm stuck in repetition. Same crap different day. Work, School, weekend, rinse and repeat.

[paxe]

I understand and it feels ty when you are in this position. But then again it's your life that you have in your hands, did you consider joining a volunteering group or an activity? I love video games but I don't even have time anymore since I've been in my group, socializing and going out, plus school.
Start talking to a girl and then join a group or activity so that you can talk to more girls and build up your self-esteem.

[DerelictHerds]

( and by the way what's wrong with video games? )

Nothing

Nothing is wrong with video games. Playing video games is how I stay in contact with my friends, who all have as busy schedules as I do.

That's cool. I'm just saying make plans to get out and socialize in person.