[sunshinewoman]

My 14 year old sister send me an email asking if she can come live with us for her grade 10, 11, and 12 high school years. And I thank god she asked before she just showed up. She has been thinking about this for a while now, but never said anything for sure.

Her dominant reason for wanting to move to us is that my mothers new husband has been mentally and physically abusing her since she met him, even more so after they got married. My mother being the way she is turns a cold shoulder to it, because she doesn't want a 6th divource. I don't agree, but thath's not the issue here.

I am concerned about my mothers husbands reaction. Obviously she will have difficulties with her daughtwe wanting to move away, but she is old enough to choose by herself. And I believe her safety and wellbeing is more important. The same situation occurred with myself when I was that age, when I moved in with my older sister due to an ex husband.

I am just really concerned that once he gets informed of what will be happening next summer, that he will do everythign in his power to ensure she can't leave. I wouldn't hold it from him.

Do I have the right to take her in? Enroll her in school and claim her as a dependent? SHe is my halfsister after all. And we would have all of my mothers permission. Can he do anythign to stop this from happening?

[Cedarln2265]

The new stepfather is mentally and physically abusing her? If you have evidence of that, most states require you to report the abuse to the law. Or you could inform you mother that she is in jeopardy of being charged with neglect by allowing her "new" husband to abuse her child. I'd call the Child Abuse Hotline and report the situation. They investigate, if evidential, they'll remove her from the home and hopefully, place her with you. You can then "legally" do all the things that all children need when they live in your home.

[artlady]

Since she has two parents the court would ask that both parents agree to temporary guardianship.

Her father MAY have to give permission as well even if he is not the custodial parent.
If the step father has legally adopted her,he would have to agree.

Her age is of LITTLE significance in a court of law.She is still a minor and while she may be appointed a law guardian,the judge has the final say.

You would also need to show the court that you are stable,financially and emotionally to accept temporary guardianship.

Unless you can prove to the court that her environment is abusive and you would be able to provide a better home,I would rethink calling children's services as she could end up in foster care.I would only do this as a last resort.

I am not a legal expert,my advice is from personal experience.

[sunshinewoman]

No no I do not want to go through child services. The abuse that is happening hasn't thappened this time around. Two of my stepfathers abused myself and my older sister, My younger sisters biological father mentally abused her and now her stepfather is doing both. My mother just never seems to learn.
I do not want to report it because I do not want to take the chance of her ending up in foster care, and being taken away from my mother. She is a really good mother, just hasn't made the best choices, and works too much (since he got laid off) to see everything that he does.
My mother has no problem with her moving to me for a coupke of years or however long she wants. I am only concerned abou thim. I know he is going to freak. That's the type of man he is.
And he doesn't have to give permission for her since he will not and has not adopted her. ALso her biological father gave up his rights to her when we left Germany to Canada (law is different in Germany, he still has to pay for her though)

Can I or can't I enroll her in a school only being her sister? Obviously I would have papers and permission from our mother, but no legal guardianship other than sibling. We do not want to take her away from my mother, that is not the purpose of this.

[JudyKayTee]

In my State - NY - you cannot enroll her in school without legal guardianship (unless, of course, you're the natural parent).

Your stepfather has no say in any of this. It's your mother who has control of the situation - unless your stepfather adopted her and I don't see any indication of that (unless I missed something). Can he make your life miserable? Probably. Is there anything he can do legally? No. Can you get him arrested if he harasses you? Yes.

[justcurious55]

Even though you don't want to go through the courts, it really is the best way. Since you say your mother doesn't mind if she moves in with you it should be a relatively simple process (my parents opposed my aunt and uncle's request for guardianship. Getting the judge to grant it was a long, drama-filled process). By establishing a guardianship you won't have to worry about whether you can enroll her in school, whether you can authorize necessary medical care, taking her on trips with you, or the possibility of your mother simply changing her mind and making her move back in on a whim. While the guardianship is possible to reverse, it requires both parties to go back to court. So let's say your mother says she can move in, she does, but there's no guardianship. The new husband may push your mother to make your sister move back in and you won't be able to stop it. But if you have a guardianship, you won't have to worry about that.