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    someone27's Avatar
    someone27 Posts: 20, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #1

    Sep 14, 2009, 12:35 PM
    Going Downtown.wink wink
    So... my boyfriend and I have been together for mere months... he's 28, I'm 27. He's white, I'm black. Not that it matters but I thought a little bit of background info would help.
    I perform oral sex, willingly and often. I like it because of how it makes my partner feel, want to make sure he's satisfied. I see oral sex as a "do unto others" situation. If I give then I should receive right?
    My boyfriend says it turns him off and it disgusts him to perform oral sex. Now, even though he's said this, he has done it once or twice. It only lasted a few seconds to 1 minute but quite worth it. ;)
    My question is: how can I make him feel more comfortable about giving me oral sex without using a scare tactic? Meaning, denying him oral sex or sex period until he breaks down and does as I ask? I have tried different perfume sprays, edible oils, and such but I end up using it on him instead!
    I don't want this to become a 'real problem' for us, every other aspect of our relationship is great. Sex is the best I've ever had so... no sense in creating a problem out of nothing. If you can offer up some advice in the enticing department, I'd appreciate it... thx
    h_leann_b's Avatar
    h_leann_b Posts: 247, Reputation: 35
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    #2

    Sep 14, 2009, 12:39 PM

    Personally, I am most willing to do it either right after a shower, or even still in the shower. It's when you are most clean!
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,492, Reputation: 2853
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    #3

    Sep 14, 2009, 01:05 PM

    If he's refusing after a fresh shower or just sitting on the edge of the tub and washing down there... I don't know what his problem is... I willingly go down on a woman.

    Some women can get funky... sweaty smelling after only an hour or two. So keep that in mind.
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
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    #4

    Sep 14, 2009, 01:25 PM

    There is no way to make someone do something in the bedroom (or bathroom, whatever) that they don't like doing. Period.

    If he hates giving oral, and you hate, say... threesomes, but you love receiving oral and hate threesomes, well----you probably shouldn't have either him giving into oral or you giving in to threesomes because it will just cause resentment.

    That being said---I probably wouldn't be giving as much oral myself if I wasn't getting it in return. But---that's just me.
    Catsmine's Avatar
    Catsmine Posts: 3,826, Reputation: 739
    Pest Control Expert
     
    #5

    Sep 14, 2009, 02:00 PM
    The old one about citrus making a guy taste better is fairly accurate, for me(I've been told) anyway. Have you tried changing your diet?
    Ren6's Avatar
    Ren6 Posts: 539, Reputation: 121
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    #6

    Sep 14, 2009, 05:13 PM
    Has he said specifically what it is about oral sex that disgusts him? It's really one of those things that generally comes with the package, you know? I'd ask him what disgusts him, figure out if it can be remedied, and then decide if it's a deal-breaker. It doesn't seem fair that you're being so good, game and giving (as Dan Savage says) and your b.f. is not fulfilling your needs in that department. Good luck, and keep us posted...
    j_ely823's Avatar
    j_ely823 Posts: 118, Reputation: 5
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    #7

    Sep 15, 2009, 04:24 PM
    Personally, you and I have parallel thoughts. I do enjoy giving oral because it makes him feel amazing. At the same time, I had been brainwashed when I was in high school that many guys did not particularly like giving oral sex to girls. The truth is those who really love their wives, girlfriends, partner do so because its about giving and receiving which in the end makes everyone happy. Have you expressed to him how good it makes you feel? I do agree that you shouldn't withraw from giving. You could definitely ask him what you could do to make it a little less vile. Are you shaving? Waxing? Im black too and my boyfriend isn't white, but for some reason he's excited about doing so. Mostly, because its about satisfying you partner.
    someone27's Avatar
    someone27 Posts: 20, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #8

    Sep 18, 2009, 10:16 AM

    UPDATE! So... my boyfriend and I had a fight so I couldn't ask him exactly why he feels the way he feels about performing oral sex. But, there really was no need to because he did it on his own last night... with no nagging or prodding on my part. I was so surprised and satisfied. I'm glad that I waited and received all of your great opinions on the matter. Feels much better now to know that he'll be reciprocating the same great feeling I give him when I pay a visit down there.. hehe. Thank you all very much, greatly appreciated!

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