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Palex9 · Oct 27, 2006, 11:15 PM

I live in the UK.

Ten years ago I met and had a relationship with someone by whom I became pregnant.

I had a son. The father couldn't be bothered to even turn up for the birth and wanted me to go partying with him the next day as I lay recovering from a Caesarian.

I should have realised then what a pathetic loser this guy was, but I didn't and while I didn't name him as the father on my son's birth certificate I did give my son his surname.

Now, 10 years later, 10 years during which I've seen this man to be a bully, drunkard, loudmouth, liar, thief and coward, I want to break all connections with him and I want to change my son's surname to mine. I no longer want him to have any influence over my son as when my son comes back from spending time with him he is surly, cheeky and nasty - just like his father.

Can I do this without legal hassles? I mean can I just write to my son's school and health authorities and so forth and tell them to change his surname to mine?

I am now with someone who really cares for me and loves me deeply but who cannot believe my utter stupidity at having done what I did - give my son the surname of someone who never even cared for me - and while I also made the colossal mistake of allowing my son to see his real life dad every weekend and thus develop an unhealthy attachment to him, I now want to minimise his influence and contact with and upon my son and me as far as possible.

He has both threatened and intimidated us several times and the police have proved totally useless in that they keep telling us it's a domestic - but that's another mater entirely.

Also - where my partner and I to leave the UK and settle elsewhere what rights has his biological father? Can he do anything to prevent that?

Thanks. All advice greatly appreciated.

arhouston · Jul 3, 2007, 12:01 PM

Its going to be hard cause he does see his son so I take it your son knows who his father is how old is he and do you have a court order regarding custody and visitation were you ever married and did you ever establish paternity if not that could be in your favor you did say he's not on the birth certificate, right