[jaimie02]

So I was totally lied to and played by this guy... some of you may have read my previous posts a month or so ago. Anyway, we stoopped talking, but I've been depressed missing him because I think I love him. So I messaged him just to see how he was and he was nice back to me. I really want to at least have him as a friend, because even though he played me I still love him and he still makes me so happy. Just seeing that he messaged me made me smile for the first time in weeks. Is it a mistake to try to be his friend. I'm not going to attempt anythign more. But I want him in my life still

[N0help4u]

So are you trying to go for twice burned?
What if he plays along with the friend thing... tells you he wants more... then burns you again?
Also you have to remember love is a two way street so it doesn't matter one iota if you love him or not. His not loving you back is enough to hurt if you 'at least have him as a friend' and it doesn't go anywhere.

[Ginny Finny]

Just take it slowly and be careful. Its your choice,

[britEl]

I think you need to just stop contact with him for now. He hurt you once he might hurt you again. Wait until you are completely over him, until you can see him with another girl and be all right with it, then you will know if its right to be just friends with him. Maybe after you're healed you won't even want to see his face again! You never know but give it some time! :)

[jaimie02]

I think you are all right... however I have talked with him, after a painful month or so of not speaking. He says he wants us to be friends. And I am suddenly happier just talking to him as friends, but I am afraid that I am still going to get hurt. I feel like I have some closure knowing he doesn't hate my guts, which has actually made me feel like I'm starting to get over him. Oh I don't know what I'm even feeling or saying, if any of it makes sense...

[ITstudent2006]

Here's something you have to remember. You say you love him, you say you care about him. But you just want to be his friend. IMPOSSIBLE. You cannot "love" someone and "care" for them and sit by and just be there friends.

But I don't have to tell you this because I am sure you already know that there's no way you can do it. You will want more and that's where you have to sit down with yourself and be honest with yourself. Is it worth it... the hurt, the pain, the thoughts creeping in your mind after he burns you again...

It's things you have to remember and be prepared for. Here's my thought, I think that you can't be just friends with him, I think you want more and saying you'll be friends was just a way to start talking again. I think that if you think it's worth it then go for it. You will not learn from it unless you live through it.

Good Luck

Rick

[jaimie02]

Am I horrible? Because I know all of you are right.. and when I gave my friend that same advice, I was right and she got hurt.. but I feel like I can control myself not to let anything happen. I mean, can't I just be his friend and be there for him when he's upset, and still love him.. change that love to the kind of love you feel for a friend, not the kind you feel for that special person? Oh how I hate relationships.

[justcurious55]

You're not horrible. You're just being stubborn again :p

Maybe you're just going to have to try it and find out, risk learning the hard way.

Have you thought about the possibility that maybe you don't live him, maybe you only want him because you can't have him though? In another post (I'm 99% sure it was you but correct me if I'm wrong) you mentioned there's plenty of other guys that you could go out with, that have asked you to go out with them repeatedly. But you're not interested in him. And now this guy comes along, seems great, but can't commit to you and lies to you repeatedly.

[jaimie02]

Crazy. I know and you are right... and I know I sound like a cliché saying this, but I think he has changed. He just seems like he's grown up a bit. But I guess I will have to learn the hard way