[fd1326]

Hi folks. First of all sorry for my damn english. And there is the story:
There are me - 22 years old dude and she - 15 years old girl. We met 5 weeks ago and seen each other 8 times. At first 3 meetings (that was a kind of parties with friends) I felt only liking to her as nice pretty girl and she seems to felt this way to me too. At next meeting we spent a lot of time walking together, speaking and making fun. I think that was a time when I fall in love, but it was somewhere deep inside and I still felt just growing liking to her. And after this meeting some connection appears between us (friendship from her side, hidden love and public friendship from my side?). So next 2 meetings was not in company of friends but only she and me (it was she who display initiative to meet me, not vice versa). We make a lot of fun together, it was very nice and connection between us grows.

Our next meeting was again in the company of friends and it's time to introduce a new character. He is my good friend. He is 23 years old. He has a charisma and ability to nice talks. He is dating with friend of she. He was in company when I first met she. She also seen him the first time that time. I didn't notice any special feelings to him from her side that time, just a liking to nice person. And now it is a second time she seen him. Again I didn't notice any special feelings to him from her side. But at evening she told me that today supposed to be the best day in whole her life, but it didn't. I forced her to say more and she showed me his photo and said that because of him. So she seen him once and waited about month to see him again. I was surprised how much it hurted me and I'm realized that actually love her. I don't know if she noticed my reaction. I tried (insincerely) console her. Then we set in the kitchen with light off and talk about 3 hours. We said much about each other. But I didn't said about my feelings to her. Instead I said about my depression, my miserable life, my hate to myself and other such emo- (stupid, but I was really crushed), she tried to inspire me. Also she said that she happy to has such friend as me and that she feels herself very calm with me. During our previous and future meetings she several times said that I "nice", meaning both my appearance and behaviour.
Next day she posted a rhyme dedicated to this dude in her blog. Also next day we had phone conversation and she said that she hardly bickered with her best friend (22 years old girl). She was really crushed and almost cry. I said that she is right, not that girl. I did it just to support her. Then we talk about 2 hours and I realize that she is almost alone - unshared love, lost best friend, no other close connections with people (does she tried said it to me or it's my own conclusion?. ). After we finished conversation she called me again to say that every time we are parting she feels like losing part of her own body (is it manipulation or true feelings?). As I decided that she is totally alone and crushed, I said that I should come to the town she living in (I'm living in another one) for some business (lie, no business, just she) in few days and we may meet. She was very happy to hear that. Next day she called me by phone just for "chat" but it looked like she calls just to ask one question: will I come? And I had come. Again we make a lot of fun together. She played piano for me (oh dudes... ). I acted like a friend. It was our last meeting to this time. Next day she called me again for "chat" and between times asked me when I came to her town again...
The end. To be continued...

So... I'm crushed and feel myself f*****g bad. It hurts even more 'cause she loved my good friend, not any unknown dumbass. I still love this dude as friend, but at the same time I hate him. It hurts to look at photos where is she with him ('cause she looks so happy on them) or with me ('cause she doesn't look so happy on them). It hurts to look at other her photos 'cause she so pretty and can't be mine. It hurts to spent time with her and imitate friendship. It hurts to have dreams where are we together with her. It hurts to read that rhyme, but I did it again and again.

I see several ways out:
1. Tell her about my feelings, hear something like "sorry, you are a nice guy, but I love that dude. let's be friends" and
a) be friend of hers.
b) broke any connection with she.
2. Start to act like admirer with her. With high probability it leads to point (1). With very low probability it leads to point (she-forget-about-this-dude-and-fall-in-love-with-me).
3. Kill my feelings, find another girl to love and be friend of this one.
4. Be friend of her and wait 'till she will be free.
5. Broke our connection now and wait 'till she will be free.

Points (3) and (1.a) seems to be the same, but I'm afraid of friendship from point (1.a) will be less sincere from her side (here I suppose she doesn't know about my feelings now), but I want her as good friend in case we can't be loved ones.

Points (4) and (5) seems to produce a lot of hurt and give low chances of success.

Also I doesn't like points with broken friendship because she is alone and it seems our friendship means a lot for her. And I feel very bad about hurting her.

Now I'm inclining to the point (3) as the most hurtless for both of us. But points (1) and (2) contains some f*****g hope which is so hard to reject.



Thank you for reading. Thank you for fighting with my english, tenses are weird, articles are stupid...
I'm not asking anything 'cause all seems clear for me and I just should make a decision by my own. I wrote all this mess just to not hold it all inside my mind. But if you has any advices, opinions or words of support - you are welcome.

[amicon]

Its good to write things down to get some perspective on a situation.and its true that you must make your own mind up.as regards this girl-she s very young and my advice to you would be to step away from her.the right person for you will come along one day.:-)

[talaniman]

I disappear from her life, and get a life of my own, that I enjoy, without her. (older too!)

[Fr_Chuck]

I see no reason that 20 year olds are at parties and doing things with 15 year olds.

I would say act your age, and leave children alone

[fd1326]

I see no reason that 20 year olds are at parties and doing things with 15 year olds.

i would say act your age, and leave children alone

I intended to say that she looks and acts like 18 year old etc, but I wouldn't. Instead I would say that I see no trouble in friendship with 15 year olds. Relationships is more difficult question, but also allowed in general from my point of view. But is it allowed in our case? Thank you, you forced me to think about it. Somehow I missed problem of responsibility (damn feelings, they killing logic and reasonableness).


Also some good news: we had kind of a stag party past few days and I realized that I'm capable to communicate, make fun etc with that dude. I had been really afraid about our friendship.