[brokenbabiie]

I'm seventeen, turning 18 in October, and I am engaged. (Fiance is 21 years old. BTW, they have NEVER met him before!) My fiancé and I are getting married October 30th, that is FIVE days after my birthday. Welp, I want to tell my parents. I have already told my Grandparents and they're happy, but now it's time to tell my mom and dad. I am unsure how I should do this. I'm pretty nervous about it, too, because I don't know how they're going to react. Can I get some advice on how to break this to 'em? Thanks in advance.

Oh, a side note: I am not looking for answers from anyone telling me that I should wait, or that I am too young, etc etc. I was simply asking for ideas about how I should tell them. Please don't be judgmental or give any sort of lecture.

Thank you, in advance for any *helpful* answers. Haha.

[Just Dahlia]

OK so you are turning 18 next month and are getting married.
Congratualtions!:)
I'm thinking at this point since your parents have never met your betrothed, why does it matter how you tell them?:confused:

You must have been dating him for a while, to be at the point of marriage, right? But your parents have never met him, so I'm thinking that they are estranged, not that important to you?

I'm glad your Grandparents have met the man you plan to spend the rest of your life with.

I'm going to go with Mom and Dad... I'm getting married next month, Surprise!!

I hope they are the fun type, because I don't think it's going to go over very well.:)

I'm really not trying to criticize you like you asked, this is just my opinion, and I really do wish you the best!:)

[brokenbabiie]

I live with my parents. My fiancé has been in Korea the past year, because of the US Army. I want to break it to them as gently as possible. LOL. If it is possible. I just keep telling myself that I'm going to be 18, it's my decision. My fiancé is the one who wants me to tell them. I'd prefer to just elope and tell them after. This isn't going to be fun for them! :P

[Just Dahlia]

Yes, It's not going to be fun for them at all. They are going to ask a lot of questions, so be prepared..

He has been away for at least a year.
He has been in Korea
He is in the army
You are 18
What are you thinking?
Why do you want to marry a man you haven't seen in a year?
Why haven't we heard about him?
What do you dislike about living here so much, that you are willing to get married to move away?

These are just some of the things I would think about, I'm sure there are more, you need to be prepared and think about them.
Good luck:)
I know you don't want to hear this, but being a Mother, I would not approve with out a lot of information.

30 is too young as far as I'm concerned.:eek:
Sorry, I don't mean to judge, but I am a Mother.:D

[brokenbabiie]

I'm totally not saying this in a b!tchy way, but at this point, my mind is SET. I don't think their approval is necessary, I just want to tell them because it's the right thing to do, kwim? And thank you for your help. I think I'm going to sit them down at my Grandparents house and tell them. I don't know.
Thanks, again.

[Alty]

Tell them this.

Mom and dad, I'm an adult, I can support myself, I can take care of myself and I love this guy. I know you haven't met him but I'm 18, I know everything, so I'm going to marry him.

I won't be a burden on you, I'll never ask for a thing, we're set, he's 21, we'll be fine.

How's that?

Of course, they know that at 18 you don't know jack and this marriage will most likely end in divorce, because that's what statistics say, but who cares what they think right? You're going to get married, it'll be super cool!

[hheath541]

I hahave one question. Do they know he exists or will you be springing that on them, too?

[friend4u178]

How long did the 2 of you go out for before he went away??

[brokenbabiie]

Friend4u178, We have known each other well before we started dating, and before he went away. Altenweg, most marriages, especially those to people in the service, are at a young age. I'm not getting married because it's "cool" but that's fine. I'm not even going to comment on that any further.

[hheath541]

I still want to know if your parents know you've been seeing him, even if they haven't met him. Telling them you're getting married to someone they've heard you talk about will be easier than telling them you're getting married to someone they didn't even know existed.

[smoothy]

Perhaps since you already have it all figured out, you already know the answer. Maybe you will be in the 1% of the population that married young, got lucky, and married a nice person they never learn to hate later. Maybe you won't end up in a trailer park a single mom when Mr. Perfect gets fed up and walks out on you because he'd rather be with someone who doesn't believe they know everything.

Perhaps you will see everything that's wrong here before you alienate everyone around you.

But since you already have everything else figured out too... I'm sure you already know that your parents deserve the respect to be told what your plans are, NOW.

[I wish]

Oh, a side note: I am not looking for answers from anyone telling me that I should wait, or that I am too young, etc etc. I was simply asking for ideas about how I should tell them. Please don't be judgmental or give any sort of lecture.

I wasn't going to tell you that you're too young or that you should wait or give you any sort of lecture, but after a comment like that, you're kind of asking for it.

Anyway, Congratulations! First of all, I suggest that you wait until you actually turn 18 before talking to your parents about him. Secondly, instead of telling your parents straight up that you're going to marry him, why don't you ease them into it? Why don't you introduce him as a friend first and see how they react. If it's all good, then introduce him as a boyfriend and then see how they react to that. The final step is to introduce him as your fiancé.

We don't know what you're like in person or what type of relationship you have with your parents, but if you approach this in a very mature manner, then you should be fine.

[Catsmine]

Friend4u178, We have known each other well before we started dating, and before he went away. Altenweg, most marriages, especially those to people in the service, are at a young age. I'm not getting married because it's "cool" but that's fine. I'm not even going to comment on that any further.

As you may know, brokenbabiie, most marriages in the service end in widowhood, divorce, or murder. I do wish you luck, you will need it. Getting your parents involved as soon as possible and listening to the advice they give when they get over the shock will help you down the road. I do advise you to go one on one with the parent you are closest to, and don't raise your voice whatever they do.

[Justwantfair]

I married young (23 years young) to an Army man, cost me $40.00 for a marriage license. I was so right and so in love...

Seven years later I am up to about $30,000.00 in divorce fees for doing what I wanted to do.

May your own children pay you the same respect you pay your parents right now. Wait until your own daughter comes home with such wonderful news and such a pleasant attitude.

[Jake2008]

In my opinion, you can't ask for an opinion, and tell people what to say, or not to say.

You ARE too young. Marriage at your age is a BAD idea. You aren't even old enough to support yourself with a job and an apartment. That alone says you are too young.

You need to be strong, and independent, and standing on your own two feet financially, educationally, and otherwise, before even considering marriage.

And you are living at home, being supported by your parents, and jumping over a huge chunk of growing up time, right into a marriage with a man you barely know.

And your problem is how to tell your parents you are getting married?

If you insist on going down this road, why not just get out your crayons, and draw a nice picture of a bride and groom and paste it to the fridge.

Please don't get pregnant right away. Babies having babies is never a good idea.

[tiki49]

Don't marry him now girl, you are in love , he is a great guy--but it sounds like you just want to "get out of the house and be a big girl on her own". You'll get prenant soon have the 2 kids and then say "hey, I'm only 22 years old and never had my single fun years" break up the marriage--kids don't see their father --your dating a bunch of losers in front of them--they get into drugs early in their teens etc... go to college of some sort --concerts--travel ---dont put your parents through this.

[artlady]

Tell them this,a real story that happened to someone you know on line: ME

They got married at 18,she had a scholarship to college but he was intimidated by that and so she took her love over her future.

She really wanted to be a journalist.

Once they got married he worked but would not let her.

He went out every night and was a cheat and dominated her.

They lasted less than a year.They were each others first love,having met at 14.

He gave her diseases that nearly rendered her infertile.

You are being an idiot! If you were my daughter I would jump all over your $hit!

Get real! What is wrong with you that you have to make this life changing move you know NOTHING about.

THINK!

One day you will say ,I should have listened.

Hay, you can still love the guy and be with the guy but why marry?

To act all grown up?

That does not make you a grown up to it makes you a poor decision maker ,showing blatant immaturity!

[Fr_Chuck]

Several big issues,

1. never meet him, if you have dated, in love why not, shows a real lack of maturity that you seem ashamed of him or afraid to show him to them

2. can't tell them ? If you are not adult enough to admit what you are doing and to stand up for your choices you are not adult enough to marry yet.

[N0help4u]

I don't see the rush since he is in the military its not like he can come home to you every night. When does he get to come back to the states and not have to go overseas again?
How long is he going to be in the service?

[talaniman]

If you were so concerned about doing the right thing, you would have told them by now, or at least discussed him already.

You didn't because you didn't want to catch the flak about it, from them. So either tell them, or let them find out. Its will be a shock either way.