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    4answers's Avatar
    4answers Posts: 200, Reputation: 35
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    #1

    Sep 2, 2009, 01:50 PM
    Emotionally Higher Ground
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    Is it right to get angry over the fact that you miss them, but they do not miss you. They have moved on and happy without you, even though they said you were the world to them!!

    I get very angry over the fact that ex's do not miss me or regret the ending... Its like I and the relationship / time / good things we did together were valueless!! That is an insult...
    Scleros's Avatar
    Scleros Posts: 2,165, Reputation: 262
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    #2

    Sep 2, 2009, 04:29 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by 4answers View Post
    Is it right to get angry over the fact that you miss them...
    Angry is just an emotion, you feel what you feel. How you act or cope with the emotion can be right or wrong. For example, wanting to stay angry at your ex and dwelling on it is counter-productive.

    Quote Originally Posted by 4answers View Post
    ...Even though they said you were the world to them!!!
    That may have been a true, valid statement at the time it was spoken, however relationships are not static with each moment persisting in perpetuity. What someone was feeling last year, may not be the case this year. Forever is distant destination. Someone talking in terms of forever, should give you pause and skepticism, unless the two of you have together already traveled over half of the way there.

    Quote Originally Posted by 4answers View Post
    ...I get very angry over the fact that ex's do not miss me or regret the ending...
    That may not always be the case. It is possible for someone to miss you, regret the ending, and still realize a continued relationship is not viable or feasible on terms acceptable to both participants.

    Quote Originally Posted by 4answers View Post
    Its like I and the relationship / time / good things we did together were valueless !!!
    I think that is an interpretation of your choosing. Usually, it just boils down to the bad parts outweighing the good for the effort expended for one person in the relationship.
    COCADA's Avatar
    COCADA Posts: 65, Reputation: 8
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    #3

    Sep 2, 2009, 05:08 PM

    Hi. I can't tell if its is right or wrong to feel like that, In my opinion it is just normal to feel. You were still in love with her when the break up happened, that's why it hurts and that's why you feel betrayed, and you might feel kind of played, and even doubt if everything that you went through was real, of if she was just faking it all and never really cared. Well... that's what I felt when my ex broke-up with me. I was so angry and I made the BIG mistake by letting him know exactly how I felt, through hate texts, I am telling you know, to please, please, don't make the mistakes I did, I really regret that. It will only hurt you more, and it will cause you ex to just feel pity for you and you will end up pushing her away completely. You are doing awesome by venting here, keep doing it. It is healthy to let things out here, and with your best buds and family, but never with the person who hurt you.

    Losing someone you loved and cared about deeply sucks, but after a going through a horrible break up myself I realized that people just run out of love And that does not mean that they did not love you and cared about you deeply as well.

    Vent here , please do , we will listen. You are not alone, and most of us here totally understand what you are going through.
    Gemini54's Avatar
    Gemini54 Posts: 2,871, Reputation: 1116
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    #4

    Sep 2, 2009, 11:18 PM
    The thing is, life is not static and neither are emotions. We can like or love someone very much, but then those feelings change and we move on.

    This does not negate how we felt about them or invalidate them, the experience still exists, it simply means that we have chosen to move on and have another experience.

    In relation to your question, just because someone does not 'miss' you after a break up, does not mean that they never loved you or that the relationship had no value.

    As an example, say you sold a much loved car. Just because you got rid of it and now drive a new one does not mean that you did not value or appreciate it. A rather clumsy example I know!

    Please remember that it is your choice to be angry and to feel insulted. No one is making you feel this way. Its much better to appreciate the romantic experiences you've had and to be gracious about what they brought into your life.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Sep 4, 2009, 07:47 AM

    Break ups bring you many emotions, anger is just one of them, you must deal with. Things change in life, overnight sometimes. That's life.
    redhed35's Avatar
    redhed35 Posts: 4,221, Reputation: 1910
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    #6

    Sep 4, 2009, 08:00 AM

    Its good to feel angry for a while,however not if your dwelling on anger its not.

    Make a shift in your thoughts,remember your ex's have moved on,and as you said are not thinking about you or the past relationship.

    Let it go.
    Move on.

    The sooner you do,the sooner you will start recovering,and not bring hang ups or crappy left over angry feelings into the next relationship.

    On those angry moments/days/nights/weeks/months!
    you make the change in your emotions,if you don't feel happy,fake it until you do.

    Make a list of the things you disliked about the other person,and remember why you broke up, then give yourself a pat on the back for dodgeing a future with someone who didn't really love you after all.
    Sweet_Guy23's Avatar
    Sweet_Guy23 Posts: 304, Reputation: 27
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    #7

    Sep 4, 2009, 08:04 AM

    Its obvious you were the person experiencing more hurt than the other.

    But here's the bottom line, which you will see later:

    A lot of times if you are not attentive enough during the relationship you can overrate someone's interest level. And most people tend to rationalize their partner's actions, then when the relationship is over... you are left in amazement of "How could they do this or that." In most cases things compound over a period and slowly the partner's interest level is lowering, but you are too much in cloud 9 to look at the reality of the situation.

    People say "words and phrases" that sound good to the ear, but learn to put actions with words.

    My last point. WHATEVER THEY ARE UP TO NOW "WHETHER THEY MISS YOU OR NOT, REGRET BREAK UP OR WHATEVER: THAT DOESN'T NOT MATTER ANYMORE. JUST WORK ON YOURSELF, AND CONCENTRATE ON YOU!!

    That's ALL THAT MATTERS AT THIS POINT: YOU!!

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