[ohsohappy]

Leave it be, Karma. That's all I have to say, if you get at her, something's going to gt at you, whether you feel good about it initially or not.

You may not want to know the answers. Just leave it alone.

[bjohnrupp]

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ne-392545.html

Please keep all the questions on the same issue in the same thread so that we can follow the story.

Leave it alone. You need to recover from this breakup. Stop getting updates about her, as it will just confuse and upset you more. Focus on yourself and recovering from this experience. She's in the past, so leave her in the past. Focus on moving forward.

Its so hard to leave it alone when I look back now she may have been playing me the whole time and laughed about it to all her friends. I have to fight my urges and not mention it. My heart starts racing when I think about the guys she may have cheated on me with but I have no definitive proof so I don't want to look like a fool if I mention their names to her.

[I wish]

The problem is, you continue to get updates about her somehow. You have to move on with your life and cut her out. Pretend as though she doesn't even exist. Otherwise, you're just prolonging the pain and suffering.

[bjohnrupp]

The problem is, you continue to get updates about her somehow. You have to move on with your life and cut her out. Pretend as though she doesn't even exist. Otherwise, you're just prolonging the pain and suffering.

No I haven't gotten updates- I just kept thinking about everything that happened in the past and I started thinking there's a good chance she cheated with a co-worker and our realtor and possibly someone else. When I confronted her about it weeks ago she denies it and says "I dont know anything". Probably because she knows she got away with it

[ohsohappy]

Don't worry about it anymore, it's no longer happening to you.

[I wish]

Don't worry about it anymore, it's no longer happening to you.

Had to spread rep. Agreed, it's not your problem anymore. It's time to move on with your life. Don't look back anymore, as it will just give you more misery. Learn from the experience and move forward with your life.

[bjohnrupp]

Had to spread rep. Agreed, it's not your problem anymore. It's time to move on with your life. Don't look back anymore, as it will just give you more misery. Learn from the experience and move forward with your life.

Thanks "i wish" and "ohsohappy"... you 2 are right- it just burns me up knowing I may have gotten played with all the money/time that I invested in the relationship

[ohsohappy]

Unfortunately, that's life. Move foreword. You've got two good legs right? Get up and use them.

[overayear]

I have to agree with everyone. She is no longer a part of your life so it doesn't really matter what she did or didn't do or what she is doing now. Its all Irrelevant because you guys are no longer together and from what it seems like won't be together. She will get what's coming to her in her own time. I believe in Karma.

[bjohnrupp]

I have to agree with everyone. She is no longer a part of your life so it dosent really matter what she did or didnt do or what she is doing now. Its all Irrelevant because you guys are no longer together and from what it seems like wont be together. She will get whats coming to her in her own time. I believe in Karma.

Right when she was breaking up with me I told her that "I hope you meet a guy that treats you like sh** and cheats on you all the time because thats what you deserve" and she was just like "oh thats a nice thing to say" but I'm glad I said it to her now because she does deserve to get what's coming to her. She once told me she has "serious personal and self esteem issues and she feels lucky to have me because she s just an average girl"... so I think she cheats and flirts because she deep down feels bad about herself. I treated her perfectly and she even said "i deserve someone better than her" when she was breaking up with me

[talaniman]

When I found out about the guy at the end and told her I knew she completely flipped out and was very angry and distraught.

That's all the notice you need, and any more confrontation with her will only end in denial. She already knows she is a lying cheater, and she also knows you know it also. End of story... FINALLY

Would it be better to just leave this whole thing alone and never mention it to her?

Never talk to her again.

[bjohnrupp]

Thats all the notice you need, and any more confrontation with her will only end in denial. She already knows she is a lying cheater, and she also knows you know it also. End of story .........FINALLY

Never talk to her again.

Thanks Tal... I'm not going to text her back anymore. She sends these pity/guilt texts probably to try to save face but for how bad she did me dirty I'm done

[CanIBuyAClue]

Be done with her completely. Don't look at it as "man, I may have gotten played even when I invested all of this time/money into this relationship"... instead see it as "thank God that I did not end up marrying this weasel." It gets better, just don't contact her anymore, because quite frankly it does not sound like she deserves it.

[bjohnrupp]

I posted on here previously regarding my (ex) fiancé. She dumped me almost 8 weeks ago and I have found that although I have some days that I'm OK I still have a lot of bad days thinking about her. Especially on weekends since that's when we were always together. Once a week she'll text me to see how I'm doing ( I guess out of guilt/pity) I can't help but respond to her even though I know I'm not supposed to, I figure its better to have her in my life to some degree rather than not at all. I just don't know how I would deal with it if I never heard from her again. I never contact her first because I don't want her to think I'm still trying to get her back.

I thought by now I would get better but I find myself constantly comparing anyone I meet to her and don't feel that they are good enough. I'm definitely still really hung up on her. I went on 4 dates and wanted to leave the second I got there. I felt really weird being somewhere with someone other than my ex. I guess I feel like I could have done some things a little bit differently and feel like its my fault that she's gone. I always treated her great but I felt like she didn't respect me enough.

Last week we talked on the phone for the 1st time since she dumped me. It was so good to hear from her but things were just so different then when we were together. Today was bad because I found out that the guy she started "seeing" at the end of our relationship was her senior year in high school boyfriend. So I guess she dumped me for an ex from 4 years ago?

I asked her a few different times to meet up with me as friends and she always says "we will" but I don't know if it will ever happen. I guess a part of me thinks that maybe someday down the road we can get back together. I know its just wishful thinking. I guess I regret not trying to have a baby with her because if we did have a baby she wouldn't have left I'm sure.

I don't want to blow her off when she texts me but I don't want her to think I'm still trying to get her back and contact her first. What should I do? How should I handle this?

[azif]

She's moving on you shoul too. A baby would have been even worse. I keep thinking what if I proposed but then I think about it. Why try to keep someone who doesn't reciprocate

You seem to be rushing into datig again when you are clearly not over her. Of course it what feel right

I'm trying to avoid thinking about being with someone. Just focusing on my career. Maybe try to set some non relationship goals. Be comfortable with you

My advice I think is for me as much as you. Hope it makes sense

[Jane_]

Oh I know how you feel.. I still get all confused when my ex texts me. Its been a year since we broke up but my feelings are still the same! I don't reply when he tries to get in contact anymore though.. I think you should do the same. After a while you start to feel so proud at how strong you are at not replying even though you want to so badly!

She's the one who broke up with you... she made that decision now she can live with it. And believe me if you ever want to get back together with her staying in her life won't help because this way she will never realise that she made a mistake. Right now she is keeping in touch because she probably feels guilty and misses you but in time this will pass if you stay in touch. You got to cut her off completely.. only then she might realise something

[ajGambino]

Once a week she'll text me to see how I'm doing ( I guess out of guilt/pity) I can't help but respond to her even though I know I'm not supposed to, I figure its better to have her in my life to some degree rather than not at all.

I went on 4 dates and wanted to leave the second I got there. I felt really weird being somewhere with someone other than my ex.

Last week we talked on the phone for the 1st time since she dumped me. So I guess she dumped me for an ex from 4 years ago?!

I guess a part of me thinks that maybe someday down the road we can get back together. I know its just wishful thinking. I guess I regret not trying to have a baby with her because if we did have a baby she wouldnt have left i'm sure.

Even though you know what you need to do, you cave in and keep making the wrong decisions.

Why do you feel this way? Because you keep talking to her.

Better to have her in your life in some degree than not? She is not something you need and keeping in contact will keep you in that state of mind.

She has dumped you for another, do you think that kind of person could make you happy?

A baby would have made this mess much, MUCH worse and NC will let you see that TRAPPING your girlfriend is not a solution for happiness.


Give yourself time to be alone for a while, you are not ready to rationalize and create solutions for yourself. Believe me when I tell you, NC is the best thing you can do for yourself so you can see you are much better off without her. Trust me, once you go NC and stick to it, things will start falling into the right places.

[bjohnrupp]

Why is she still texting me to see how I'm doing once a week? Is it out of guilt or does she miss me in any way? I want her to feek guilt and when she asks how I'm doing I tell her not too good and then I noticed she doesn't want to hear that because it makes her feel worse. She told me she's no longer seeing her ex from high school but she just wants to be single and see more than 1 guy. If she's gone back to ex's before I feel there's always a chance sometime later for us.

[bjohnrupp]

oh i know how you feel..i still get all confused when my ex txts me. its been a year since we broke up but my feelings are still the same! I dont reply when he tries to get in contact anymore tho..I think you should do the same. after a while you start to feel soo proud at how strong you are at not replying even though you want to soo badly!

She's the one who broke up with you...she made that decision now she can live with it. and believe me if you ever want to get back together with her staying in her life wont help because this way she will never realise that she made a mistake. Right now she is keeping in touch because she probably feels guilty and misses you but in time this will pass if you stay in touch. You gotta cut her off completely..only then she might realise somthing

Thanks Jane... so you're saying that the only way she may miss me is if I don't respond to her at all? A few weeks after I got dumped I picked up the engagement ring and the rest of my stuff and I asked her if she missed me and she said maybe a little so I guess she doesn't care nearly as much as how I care for her. She did say how I was the nicest guy she ever met and I deserved someone better than her so maybe if enough guys treat her bad she may realize she had a good thing with me.

[lmnotok]

Why do you love her anyway?