Check out some similar questions!

Just Looking · Sep 1, 2009, 09:38 AM

I lost my parents a little more than a year ago. Since then, I’ve been taking care of Bailey, their golden retriever. He is almost 15. I take him for daily walks, and he’s by my side constantly when I’m home. He’s been slowing down, but he loves those walks. I’ve been out of town on business for the last 2 weeks, so during that time my roommate has been taking care of him. She has been calling, saying that he’s acting strange – not moving from his blanket, not eating, not interested in going outdoors or for his walks, not going to the bathroom. At first, we thought he was moping because I was gone, but it was getting progressively worse. She took him to the vet, who says it’s time to put him down. That’s so sad to me, but I want to do what is best for him. I plan to have him cremated and spread his ashes in the same mountain spot that my parents chose for themselves. I’m hoping to get some ideas on ways to make this easier, both for Bailey and for me. I feel like I’m losing not only a good friend but another piece of my parents. I’m flying home Friday to take him in to the vet.

shazamataz · Sep 1, 2009, 09:53 AM

Did you find out exactly what was wrong with him.

I don't want to give you any false hope but there are ways to make their lives more comfortable, both through drugs, and hollistic treatments.

In saying that though, 15 is old for a Golden, so you may be right, it may just be his time.
It's always hard putting a beloved friend to sleep, especially under your circumstances.

The idea of scattering his ashes with your parents is lovely, I'm sure they all would like that very much.

Here is a piece of writing that helps me when I lose a friend, heck, it even makes me cry now, but always in a good way.

<Rainbow Bridge>

Alty · Sep 1, 2009, 09:54 AM

J-Lo I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. I'm in the same boat right now, but keep putting it off. Our oldest dog is 14 and every day he seems to be struggling more.

One thing that I decided to do (when I finally accept that I have to do it) is to have the vet come to our home. My dog hates the vet clinic and I don't want his last moments to be in a place he hates.

Another thing I would do is ask the vet for a sedative that you can give him before the trip. This will help relax him so that it's not as stressful to him. That is if you decide to go to the vet clinic.

Be with him. I know it's hard but the comfort you can provide him will make all the difference, not only to him, but to you.

Bring his favorite toy or treat.

Most of all, realize that what you're doing is an unselfish act of love, that you're doing what's best for him. It's not easy, in fact, it's very difficult, but you're doing it out of love so never second guess yourself.

We're here for you if you need us.

Just Looking · Sep 1, 2009, 10:38 AM

It’s acute kidney failure, which the vet said explained why he wasn’t going to the bathroom and also not getting off his blanket or going outdoors. He said the toxin buildup is causing his legs to be extremely stiff, and also he is experiencing pain. I know putting him down is the right thing. He’s had a great life. My parents (and now I) had a beautiful full acre yard, with a creek running through it. He loved to romp out there. They took him camping a few times a year, and on daily hikes in the mountains behind our house. He’s such a beautiful dog and I will miss him, but I know it’s time.

Thanks for the tip of having the vet come to the house. My parents have used this vet for over 25 years, and when I asked he agreed to come out. He will handle the removal and cremation, and then I can pick up the ashes from his office the following week. My roommate, who is the sweetest girl, offered to drive up to Lake Tahoe with me to spread his ashes. Rainbow Bridge was very touching. After reading it, we came up with the idea to take a hike after spreading his ashes, a tribute to my parents and Bailey. I know it will be difficult, but I did that after spreading my parents’ ashes and felt comfort from being out in nature and doing an activity that we had so often done together.

Thanks to both of you, for the ideas and for making me feel better.

redhed35 · Sep 1, 2009, 10:50 AM

Hey j-lo,we had a lab for 17 years.
God ,I loved him.
Finally I had to admit he was too old and so uncomfortable and in pain I had to let him go.
The vet came to the house,sam was in his basket,I held his head and just telling him everything was OK,he was wagging his tail at the vet,who was so lovely and kind.
When he died I wept.
We buried him at my parents house and planted a cherry blossom tree.

The thing is,I loved him enough to let him go.

Just Looking · Sep 1, 2009, 10:56 AM

We had a black lab from the time I was 3. Abby was also beautiful. I loved to watch her run and jump as she was very graceful. When I was 12, my parents brought home Bailey. Abby passed away while I was at college, so I didn't have to witness it. It still hurt, though.

JudyKayTee · Sep 1, 2009, 03:30 PM

I'm so sorry - this is just so difficult when you love a dog but we all have to go through it at one time or another. One of the very last things my late husband said to me was, "Promise me one thing?" I was prepared for just about anything - although we had talked about everything imaginable (or so I thought) and I said, "Sure," and he said, "Always take care of Andi."

Andi was - and still is - his dog but I know the day is going to come when she's old and feeble and possibly sick and it's going to be terrible for me.

Everyone has a story.

Anyway, have you ever read this?

"Heavenly Father, Creator of all things -

Thank you for having entrusted me with a loyal pet.

Thank you for letting him teach me unselfish love.

Thank you for the memories that I can recall to brighten my days for the rest of my life.

Finally, in gratitude, I return Bailey to you."

jmjoseph · Sep 1, 2009, 04:00 PM

We get attached to our pets, but yours is more than that. Yours is the last living connection ( besides relatives) to your parents. I'm sure they loved Bailey and treated him like another son. We always wish if they have to leave us, that GOD will take them naturally, without us having to make the decision. But it's not always that way. If you have to do it, do like the experts here say, as they are the best at this sort of thing. Try to be in the room with him and pet, brush, and hold him so he won't be scared or feel alone.

I think it's a great idea to spread the ashes where your parents are, so they'll be together again.

My father died in 2000, and he didn't have a dog, but I am still having a hard time getting rid of his belongings. Not anything really valuable or special, just the little things. You see, they're a part of him just the same.

May GOD bless you at this difficult time.

JudyKayTee · Sep 1, 2009, 04:09 PM

Originally Posted by jmjoseph

My father died in 2000, and he didn't have a dog, but I am still having a hard time getting rid of his belongings. Not anything really valuable or special, just the little things. You see, they're a part of him just the same.

May GOD bless you at this difficult time.

I have still not opened my husband's wallet - it is where he left it, as he left it. Funny how possessions become part of a person.

My sympathy (and I realize it's been quite a while) on the death of your father.

jmjoseph · Sep 1, 2009, 04:22 PM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

I have still not opened my husband's wallet - it is where he left it, as he left it. Funny how possessions become part of a person.

My sympathy (and I realize it's been quite a while) on the death of your father.

And mine to you.

Life is strange that way. When we sold his car I insisted that the person who bought it lived in another town. I didn't want to keep seeing his car riding around town. I was always happy to see it from afar, at his favorite stores, and at home. It was too painful to have it around.

And it was a silly CAR! So I know how the OP must feel with Bailey.

Just Looking · Sep 1, 2009, 04:55 PM

Thanks to both of you. I appreciate your thoughts and ideas, and know you both understand how difficult this is as you've both been through the heartache of loss. I appreciate you sharing your stories with me.

Alty · Sep 1, 2009, 05:10 PM

Originally Posted by Just Looking

Thanks to both of you. I appreciate your thoughts and ideas, and know you both understand how difficult this is as you've both been thru the heartache of loss. I appreciate you sharing your stories with me.

J Lo, we've all suffered loss, that's why we're all so close. Every person has a story, we often forget that. You've just brought it home.

I too lost both of my parents, 6 1/2 months apart from each other, back in 2001.

I hung on to things that belonged to them because I couldn't let them go. Bit by bit I've been thinning things out, because I have to, I simply don't have the space.

I've kept the things I cannot part with, and the memories I have will last a life time and live on through my children.

What you're going through is very different, because you're losing another living being, and I can't imagine how much pain it's bringing you because of that added burden.

Know that you gave their beloved dog all that you could, and you continue to give by taking away his pain, giving him peace.

My mother, near the end of her life, said to me "we are so humane to our pets. When they're terminal we can take them to the vet, give them a needle and they just go to sleep. We as human beings must suffer until the end". What you are doing for Bailey is a selfless act of love. Also, I believe that Bailey will be with your parents again. :)

Your parents would be proud. :)

Just Looking · Sep 1, 2009, 05:24 PM

Alty, that was really beautiful. What I love most about this site is that it is full of compassionate people who have experienced so much and have so much to give. I had another major issue recently that people on here helped me sort through. I read the posts over and over and over, receiving comfort and new insight with each reading. You are all so wonderful.

Alty · Sep 1, 2009, 05:28 PM

Originally Posted by Just Looking

Alty, that was really beautiful. What I love most about this site is that it is full of compassionate people who have experienced so much and have so much to give. I had another major issue recently that people on here helped me sort thru. I read the posts over and over and over, receiving comfort and new insight with each reading. You are all so wonderful.

Well, you're part of the group now, so include yourself in that wonderful group of people.

I've been on other sites and I have to say, AMHD is the best by far. The people here are truly amazing, don't know what I'd do without them. Many of them have become friends, even though we've never met. I adore them all.

We all have so much to offer, to give, we just have to be willing to do it. :)

shazamataz · Sep 2, 2009, 01:13 AM

Originally Posted by Just Looking

Alty, that was really beautiful. What I love most about this site is that it is full of compassionate people who have experienced so much and have so much to give. I had another major issue recently that people on here helped me sort thru. I read the posts over and over and over, receiving comfort and new insight with each reading. You are all so wonderful.

I'm just sorry I can't offer you any more...
It's just so hard, when I lose a pet I just want to be alone so I struggle to find words to comfort others, again, I am sorry, I really do feel for your loss.

As others have mentioned, make sure you keep his belongings... his leash, a favourite toy or blanket.

Just tuck them away in a box until you can bear to look at them again.

My biggest regret is not keeping some of the things from my older friends, I just couldn't bear to keep them at the time, now I just wish I had a small piece of them to keep with me.

When you are ready to do something to remember him by, come back.
I have a lot of great pet memory ideas, but it's a little too early to be thinking about that yet.

Catsmine · Sep 2, 2009, 08:50 AM

Sorry about Bailey. I too know how you're feeling. I just lost my Sheba recently.Attachment 24126

She was the last of our bloodline still owned by the family. Now I'll have to go to another kennel to get a Hollyhigh Doberman back at Hollyhigh.

Just Looking · Sep 2, 2009, 09:27 AM

Originally Posted by Catsmine

Sorry about Bailey. I too know how you're feeling. I just lost my Sheba recently.Attachment 24126

She was the last of our bloodline still owned by the family. Now I'll have to go to another kennel to get a Hollyhigh Doberman back at Hollyhigh.

The attachment isn't working anymore, but it sounds like you like Dobermans. My neighbor across the street breeds and shows them. They are great looking dogs.

artlady · Sep 2, 2009, 09:38 AM

I am so sorry for what you are going through.I have been there and it is such an emotional experience.

My sister in law recently had to put her dog down and the vets made a plaster of paris footprint for her.She just put her little paws in there and it only took a second.

Anything would work,even tempura non toxic paint.

You would have his foot print forever.With a nice picture and a poem,it would be a loving way to keep his memory alive.

His picture is beautiful.He looks so pretty!

Just Looking · Sep 2, 2009, 11:12 AM

The plaster of paris sounds like a great idea. My roommate is very artsy/craftsy (unlike me), so I'll ask her if she can do that. She's going to help me with a scrapbook. I have 100's of pictures of Bailey, many with my parents, that I'd like to put into the book. We plan to start this weekend. I think it will be soothing. :)

Just Looking · Sep 4, 2009, 05:51 PM

Well, Bailey has been put to sleep. I'm sad, but also relieved for him. I could see the pain in his eyes, but he was so sweet and loving to the end. So now I'm here reading this site for a while to take my mind off it - and when I calm down a little I'm going to head out to a movie for a while.