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1099669 · Sep 1, 2009, 06:02 AM

When you have a 'I Hate My Job' day, try this:

On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the
Thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson

Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors,
Draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed.

Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair.
Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now, carefully place it on a
Table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.

Now the fun part begins. Take out the literature from the box and read
It carefully. You will notice that in small print there is a statement:

"Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally
tested and then sanitized."

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times,"I am so glad I do
not work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson &
Johnson."

Catsmine · Sep 1, 2009, 01:58 PM

I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control dept. at Johnson & Johnson.

Next?

redhed35 · Sep 1, 2009, 02:33 PM

This couldbe a good thread.
I hate my job because.

Although,I love what I do,I just hate the shackles and the paperwork.

Catsmine · Sep 1, 2009, 02:37 PM

Originally Posted by redhed35

although,i love what i do,i just hate the shackles and the paperwork.

Tell me more about the shackles. ;);)

redhed35 · Sep 1, 2009, 02:46 PM

I find a little vaseline helps!

And the decent coffee takes the sting out of morning meetings..

Morning meetings.. the thorny thorn in my day.

jmjoseph · Sep 1, 2009, 02:56 PM

I work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson &
Johnson. I am standing here at the computer wondering what is so wrong about my job. I make a little above minimum wage.

When I get a promotion, I will get to use Johnson & Johnson vaseline while checking the thermometers.

I'm so glad Johnson & Johnson makes band-aids.

s_cianci · Sep 1, 2009, 05:29 PM

I don't know ; sometimes I might think I'd rather work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson & Johnson!

friend4u178 · Sep 1, 2009, 06:19 PM

My job is so frigging unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the f**king stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big useless dog to work. Every frigging day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single bleeding day.

Anyway, I drive these R*tards around in my van and we solve mysteries and sh1t.

twinkiedooter · Sep 1, 2009, 07:45 PM

Friend - P.S. my kid had to ask me if I was okay as I was making all kinds of weird noises. When I read him your answer he laughed very hard as well.

friend4u178 · Sep 1, 2009, 11:17 PM

Originally Posted by twinkiedooter

Friend - P.S. my kid had to ask me if I was okay as I was making all kinds of weird noises. When I read him your answer he laughed very hard as well.

You shouldn't be corrupting your sons mind with my brand of humour twinks ;)

sergie · Sep 1, 2009, 11:27 PM

I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control dept. at Johnson & Johnson. I work at mental asyalum mending their rules every now and then. Phew!!

hheath541 · Sep 1, 2009, 11:36 PM

Originally Posted by friend4u178

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

Hey, not all lesbians get turned on by power tools. So what if I want a fully equipped shed complete with every power tool I can name, and the only appliances I want in my kitchen are a fridge and a microwave...

That proves NOTHING! NOTHING, I SAY!!

simoneaugie · Sep 1, 2009, 11:36 PM

Better to work at Johnson & Johnson in the thermometer department than in an Alzheimers unit trying to get the thermometers back.

friend4u178 · Sep 1, 2009, 11:44 PM

Originally Posted by hheath541

hey, not all lesbians get turned on by power tools. so what if i want a fully equipped shed complete with every power tool i can name, and the only appliances i want in my kitchen are a fridge and a microwave.....

that proves NOTHING! NOTHING, I SAY!!!!!

Well you know that's why Brides wear white don't you , The dishwasher should always match the microwave and the refrigerator. :D

hheath541 · Sep 1, 2009, 11:53 PM

Originally Posted by friend4u178

Well you know thats why Brides wear white don't you , The dishwasher should always match the microwave and the refrigerator. :D

Who said anything about brides or dishwashers? What use do I have for either of those?

Besides, I look horrible in white. If I suddenly drop into some parallel universe and decide to get married, I'm not wearing white. I'd prefer a hippie wedding in a field, naked, but if I can't swing that then I'd rather wear purple.

twinkiedooter · Sep 2, 2009, 08:39 AM

Originally Posted by friend4u178

You shouldn't be corrupting your sons mind with my brand of humour twinks ;)

He's going on 26 shortly so I guess he's old enough(?) He did figure out that your scenerio was for Scooby Do. Me, I just laughed like a hyena and didn't realize that's who it was. Duh. Sometimes it's better to have a younger opinion of some of the "stuff" on here.