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1sweetgirl2 · Aug 28, 2009, 07:58 AM

I've been dating someone for over 2 months, first he said he just wanted sex then he said he realized that I was really special and a hard to find woman. Now he wants to cuddle, kiss and spend lots of time together, he calls a lot and is introducing me to his family and friends. He looks at me like he wants me, and like he is in love. We are going on vacation together. He is very respectful. But now he's not wanting to have sex. He has a lot of things on his mind right now that are distracting him I know. What's up with that?

I wish · Aug 28, 2009, 08:08 AM

It's only been 2 months. Just keep getting to know each other better. Talk to each other more. There's no rush for sex whatsoever. If he's feeling distracted, then try to ask him about it. If he's comfortable enough, he will share with you. Just remember to open your ears and listen to him. Be respectful and let him know that you're there for him.

Focus on getting to know each other better and enjoying the time that you spend together.

Don't do anything that you're uncomfortable with, including sex. If he really cares about you, he will respect your wishes.

1sweetgirl2 · Aug 28, 2009, 09:11 AM

Yes, I am being understanding and love that he is wanting to get closer but it worried me that he stopped wanting to have sex anymore. Wondering if something is wrong for him to change like that. If he was not affectionate towards me anymore I'd be more worried but I figure this is just a phase.

kctiger · Aug 28, 2009, 09:13 AM

So he straight up told you all he wanted was sex and you continued to date him?

1sweetgirl2 · Aug 28, 2009, 09:24 AM

Appreciated the honesty

kctiger · Aug 28, 2009, 09:30 AM

Originally Posted by 1sweetgirl2

Appreciated the honesty

I'm just trying to get the story straight here. I don't really see anything wrong with his actions. Who knows what the problem is? It has been two months and you two seem to be getting along fine... sex isn't everything and maybe he realizes that and doesn't want you to get the wrong idea. Just enjoy and have a blast on vacation by the way! What I wouldn't give to be going on vacation right now! :D

Jake2008 · Aug 28, 2009, 09:48 AM

It seems to me he sees you as two different women.

The first woman he wanted for sex only, and he was upfront about that. Let's call the first woman... easy.

The second woman he sees as a girlfriend. Girlfriends tend to get a lot more respect, and a deeper, more meaningful relationship.

So, he has abandoned you as just being an easy sex partner with no emotional ties and no possible relationship, to a relationship that is outside the bedroom.

Clearly he sees you differently, and is working on the relationship.

He probably wants the sex to be more meaningful within a relationship. Give him time, he'll come around eventually.

1sweetgirl2 · Aug 28, 2009, 09:52 AM

It's great, meeting the family, getting along great. Was only concerned because he stopped wanting to and a friend said she thought maybe he was with someone else but I really doubt that. Vacation will be a blast. Usually when a guy gives mixed messages it is something like: I love you, then he treats her badly and it's clear he does not love her. In this case it is: I don't want a relationship but then he makes the best relationship I've ever experienced and I am really happy, if somewhat confused. Just going to go with the flow.

ohsohappy · Aug 28, 2009, 09:53 AM

If I were you, I'd be very grateful that he's changed his mind, And no offense, but it's sort of ridiculous to date someone that you knew just wanted sex. You WANT someone to respect you and care for you. Sex doesn't mean affection all the time. Be glad of this change, if things keep going the way they are now then you'll actually have a good relationship. DON'T have sex with him unless you've been dating him for about 6 months to a year. Then you'll know if he's committed to you or just wants to get laid..

1sweetgirl2 · Aug 28, 2009, 09:58 AM

Jake2008, I really like your answer. I think you are right. The respect level keeps going up and that is so nice. Ohsohappy, you have a good point as well. I went into this with eyes open and took a chance, I know. But I am not regretting it. Sometimes you have to have faith that things will turn out for the best.

N0help4u · Aug 29, 2009, 06:55 AM

He sees you as a keeper and he knows that jumping into anything may end up losing you.
Enjoy the courtship. In the long run you have a better chance at coming out a winner in a good relationship. Most relationships that jump into a pyshical relationship end up being a bad dead end street.

talaniman · Aug 30, 2009, 12:53 PM

Once he found out you were not an easy floozy, his interest went up. Now he is doing things the right way, so have a great time, and leave the sex out of the relationship, until your both very sure what you have is special.

CFZD · Aug 30, 2009, 06:57 PM

OP,

I can't believe you post this question here. All I can tell you is that - he is a respectful man, and you are blessed to have a boyfriend like this.

Why being so dramatic? It's simple, keep him, go to the vacation.

If it is so hard to decide and you must make a deal out of it, I will take him! :D

always smiling · Sep 5, 2009, 07:18 AM

Rather than just seeing you as an easy lay, he is obviously now into you which is a good thing specially if your into him. Give him time and reap what you want out of this relationship.