Check out some similar questions!

MichelleMoore · Aug 27, 2009, 10:53 AM

I know this is asked over and over again but I'm still confused. I have an almost 11 year old who wants nothing to do with her father. He has not been very faithful to her in the past 10 years. 6 years ago her fathers girlfriend abused her by hitting her and unfortunately the state of NJ did not see that as child abuse. He stood by his girlfriends side and basically called my daughter a liar. Since then things have not been the same. She despises her father and tells me she does not want to see him or talk to him again. He upsets her and never calls her back when she calls him. She said the other night that she wishes she didn't have a father like him and she wants my boyfriend to adopt her. Beings my child feels this way, is there a way I can get him to waive his rights? Will a judge hear my daughters side of the story? I need help! Everytime he plans something with my daughter (when it's conveient for him) he always comes up with excuses the day after they are supposed to do something. He never calls or shows up but will text me or leave me a message the day after saying something came up. He does not have time for her and my daughter is getting tired of waiting around. SOmeone please help me! :confused:

Justwantfair · Aug 27, 2009, 10:57 AM

Your daughter will not have a lot of say in her future, but with a Guardian Ad Litem (child's attorney) she will get to tell her own wishes, although the court may not ever listen to them.

A boyfriend may not adopt a child. If he were your husband, it would be a different situation.

Is your ex current on child support?
How does he feel about giving up his rights?

MichelleMoore · Aug 27, 2009, 11:07 AM

Originally Posted by Justwantfair

Your daughter will not have alot of say in her future, but with a Guardian Ad Litem (child's attorney) she will get to tell her own wishes, although the court may not ever listen to them.

A boyfriend may not adopt a child. If he were your husband, it would be a different situation.

Is your ex current on child support?
How does he feel about giving up his rights?

No he is not current on child support. He is behind. I haven't talked to him about giving up his rights. Every time I call or my daughter calls he does not pick up the phone. He never calls either of us back. It can take him a good week to call back or he don't call at all.

stevetcg · Aug 27, 2009, 12:11 PM

Are his visitations court ordered or are they out of the kindness of your heart?

You can apply for a modification to the visitation schedule citing exactly what you described here... cancellations, avoidance, etc. Courts are not fond of parents jerking their kids around like that.

Like Justie said... your boyfriend cannot adopt. Any chance there is a wedding in your future?

MichelleMoore · Aug 28, 2009, 05:18 AM

He does have court ordered visitation and he does not abide by the court order at all in the past 6 years. He has a family of his own right now and just pushes my daughter aside. His first born to say the least. I will call the courts to see what they say. Thank you for your advice.

ScottGem · Aug 28, 2009, 06:17 AM

I'm not sure what confuses you. The response to this issue have been very clear. You cannot terminate his rights involuntarily unless he can be proven to be a danger to the child and that seems hardly the case. You can have him relinquish his rights if you HUSBAND (not boyfriend) agrees to adopt. Don't see how that can be made clearer.

If your daughter wants nothing to do with him you can't force her to. If he goes court to enforce his visitation, a presentation of his history is likely to have the courts say if she doesn't want to see him she doesn't have to.

And that appears to be what you really want.