[rnrg]

How much personal time do you spend with your daughter? Sometimes our schedules get so busy that we neglect spending "quality" time with them. Our kids will "act-out" when they are being neglected. Whenwas the last time that you have done something with this particular daughter only.

How much time do you spend praising what "good" she may do. Kids react to our actions. If all you do is complain and find fault, then she will have no incentive to try and "please" her parents.

Have you considered that she may be dealing with sibling rivalry? Again, when other children come along, we expect our older kids to move over and make room for the next one. This creates fear and instability in the minds of a child that was once in first place.

Maybe you need to change her diet. How much sweets does she eat. Believe it or not but foods can create problems with our kids.

Also, to get her focused on other things, find small projects for your children to do together and things to do separately. Give your daughter responsibilities. Make a chart so she can see all that she has accomplished. Give her books about animals and read them to her, especially the books with mother animals and their babies. Help her see the sweetness of animals and how gentle we need to be around them.

Lastly, be consistent in your punishments not just with your daughter but with the other children as well. And beyond all else, don't show favoritism. I know it is hard to do, especially when you feel like you want a refund on one of them.

Your daughter is not a lost cause. You just need to "listen" to your daughter. And taking a line from "The Lion King's Timone and Pumba" - Look beyond what you see. You can learn a lot from what your kids are not saying. Rita

[firmbeliever]

I agree with the others giving up or boot camp is not an option.

I also have a question, you mentioned brothers and sisters; how many children do you have?
Who looks after them when you are not home? Is someone else disciplining them while you are away?

[N0help4u]

There is a place but I don't know if they could take her except maybe for their summer camp. You might want to contact them and ask if they have any ideas on what you can do.

Training

[jmjoseph]

I have a 7 year old boy. He just came in from doing yardwork. On his own, he willingly takes on chores and responsibilities. He is in charge of his own homework( we help if necessary). He still tortures his little brother sometimes, and does things to annoy his mother and I , but all in all, he's a great kid.

What's my secret?

I never have been one to read, or follow, child rearing books, BUT... There's a guy named Dr. Kevin Leman. Who authors children's AND adult books. The first one you need to get is " Have a new kid by Friday", the next is " How to bring your kids up without tearing them down". The first book teaches kids that "B" is not going to happen until "A" happens first. It conditions kids to obey orders, rules, everything you want. It makes them WANT to do better.

Read these two, then the rest of his books.

They will change your life. This guy is amazing. Him and Dr. James Dobson both. Look them up and then go shopping.

Your child needs to learn from YOU. YOU need to get this child under control. If you don't , she will only get worse. In the meanwhile, you should take her to another counseler.

Would you seriously send your kid to STRANGERS that will do GOD knows what to get her to mind?

[dwb79]

I spend one on one time with her everyday. She does home work and yard work what you would call chores. She likes to do yard yard with me.

[jmjoseph]

I spend one on one time with her everyday. She does home work and yard work what you would call chores. She likes to do yard yard with me.

Does she get in trouble at school?

How are her grades?

Does she respect her teacher?

If this is a "home only" issue, maybe she has resentment towards her siblings.