[beanster]

My husband had an affair six months ago and it was very hurtfull for me.He said that he wanted to leave me and he was with her even the night that my beloved pet died and to top it off it was our anniversary.Now he claims that he has no contact to her anymore but I get this feeling again and found that he had posted photos of her on his Myspace page and her son called him his stepdad on his Myspace page.I confronted him but of course he denies it.To make matters more complicated,I have still to file my papers to immigration to adjust my status so I can work but it is more money than I can make with some pet-and baby sitting.I cannot work until I get the paperwork done and aproved.So since months I am waiting for him to give me the money.I have already filed and just need the money for the fees to send it off.Is he stalling on purpose?He blames me for our financial woes but what can I do?

[Krs]

Of course he would deny it...
Once a cheater always a cheater.. I would find it so hard to gain his trust back and even if you did your marriage would not be the same.

Why can't you work?

[beanster]

I am German and so I need to become a resident to work here.it's three applications;one for the work permit,one for adjustment of status and the health certification.All of them cost a lot of money.I paid the health certificate(200$) and the paralegal (200$)and have the money for the fingerprints and the work permit but I need another 325$ for the adjustment of status and that he doesn't give me.But without it I will not get the work permit.we have been together for ten years and married since five so I think it's time I become integrated.

[Krs]

Do u have a lawyer?
I would speak to him.

[beanster]

How can I afford a lawyer?Know somebody who would help me pro bono?

[Krs]

How long have you been married?
And which country are u in?

[beanster]

I have been married five years as I noted in my earlyier posting and I am in California,U.S.

[velvetjones]

I have been married five years as I noted in my earlyier posting and I am in California,U.S.

I'm confused as to what your original entry status was before you got married and why you didn't apply for an adjustment to permanent resident alien right after you got married?

[beanster]

I had to file for the petition first and that was granted.I came on a tourist visa.But the adjustment is a lot of money and he never gave that to me and I could not work to save it up myself.We don't have much money to start with,just enough to pay the bills but then it seems tha he is spending a lot for whatever!I have no idea what he does most of the time.So it's a circle:I need the money to get the papers to work but cannot save the money without working!He is unable or willing to get it done.

[velvetjones]

I had to file for the petition first and that was granted.I came on a tourist visa.But the adjustment is a lot of money and he never gave that to me and I could not work to save it up myself.We don't have much money to start with,just enough to pay the bills but then it seems tha he is spending a lot for whatever!I have no idea what he does most of the time.So it's a circle:I need the money to get the papers to work but cannot save the money without working!He is unable or willing to get it done.

Perhaps you should investigate how he is spending money and confront him. Do you really want to be in this relationship or get legal status to work and move on?

[SINGLE4]

How can I afford a lawyer?Know somebody who would help me pro bono?

Here in Nebraska we have legal services called "Legal Aide". Go to the District Court of your county to where you'd file for divorce and they can give you options.

Good Luck!

[beanster]

I think that is what I should do but unless all this is resolved I don't have the freedom to do so and I think that he knows that and is stalling on purpose.

[valinors_sorrow]

Here in Nebraska we have legal services called "Legal Aide". Go to the District Court of your county to where you'd file for divorce and they can give you options.

Good Luck!

I like this post. Start with Legal Aid. I assume there is no friend or family member who could loan you the money to be paid back later over time. There is a bit of an element of you being held "hostage" in this so if Legal Aid is a no-go, I would call and call any place you think could help (look inside the front cover of your phone book or call 2-1-1) to see if anyone could help you.

[beanster]

Tried Legal Aid.He makes too much money!it's over the income limit!

[velvetjones]

I doubt he knows what freedoms you have at all. I see what he has done/is doing as emotional abuse, and there may be some way to get help with legal fees, form fees because of what I have read before on the INS website regarding "battered spouses".
http://www.uscis.gov/graphics/howdoi...htm#background
There may also be local free legal and/or financial help/referrals available through the DSHS/DHSS, local women's groups, women's legal groups, immigration assistance groups, local charities such as Salvation Army, St Vincent De Paul, other church groups, there are a lot of possibilities, but it will take some work.

[beanster]

Thank you!I will check it out!that helps.I did not know that there even was the possibility.

[talaniman]

He has made you a hostage and uses money to control you. You have a computer start googling abuse sites and lawyer services. He is counting on you not knowing what to do. I'll bet you also have no friends to turn to or anywhere you can go, to break this chain of abuse.

[beanster]

I have some friends but one is in Oregon right now and one outside the country.Both want to help me when they are back.I am very active here in the community and do volunteer work and plan to open a rescue shelter for unwanted and injured reptiles.They are my passion.So I am not alone but nobody knows the legal steps that I could take.Many people know about my situation and were witnesses to some of his c.. p.

[talaniman]

If your married half of everything is yours so first you need a lawyer period.

[beanster]

Can't afford one right now unless I find one who works pro bono.