[stevetcg]

Will it's hard to go over to her house to see our baby when im there!I don't think it's healthy because she still not ready to come to terms with this being are baby so can I tell this stuff when im in there.

Once visitation is ordered, her feelings on the matter become largely immaterial. If she has a problem with you doing your visits at her place, it is up to you to arrange suitable locations to take the child to during your visitation times.

As an aside, check out McDonalds playground on Wednesday nights. You will see a disproportionately large number of men without wedding rings there with their kids (Wednesday being the most common weeknight for visits).

You are about to enter into a fraternity of men who know exactly what you are going through.

[Justwantfair]

I just want to say what I think is the problem in mediation

Mediation is when you meet with a facilitator to help you and your ex make an agreement together and both agree to the terms. They will help be a neutral, un-biased third party. Have you done mediation?

What you described was a supervised visitation with the mother as a 'supervisor' and that is rarely pleasant.

[Useritson]

Mediation is when you meet with a facilitator to help you and your ex make an agreement together and both agree to the terms. They will help be a neutral, un-biased third party. Have you done mediation?

What you described was a supervised visitation with the mother as a 'supervisor' and that is rarely pleasant.

No Well I have no records so I do not see why I would need that for supervisor visitation.And sorry if I said anyting bad to you

[stevetcg]

No Well I have no records so I do not see why I would need that for supervisor visitation.And sorry if I said anyting bad to you

Which is exactly what you bring up in mediation. That is a reasonable argument and one that is used all the time.

One parent will frequently request/demand supervised visitation with no other grounds than "I am not comfortable with him taking my baby"

The usual response to that: "Sorry ma'am, its his baby too"

[Useritson]

Which is exactly what you bring up in mediation. That is a reasonable argument and one that is used all the time.

One parent will frequently request/demand supervised visitation with no other grounds than "I am not comfortable with him taking my baby"

The usual response to that: "Sorry ma'am, its his baby too"

Ok that help me out a lot!But I do think she has a right to know where our baby is going to be,So I was trying to get her and my baby to come over my house to stay so she could see what my places looks like.She would agree then back out when I told her this is only till I can get her without her

[Useritson]

Mediation is when you meet with a facilitator to help you and your ex make an agreement together and both agree to the terms. They will help be a neutral, un-biased third party. Have you done mediation?

What you described was a supervised visitation with the mother as a 'supervisor' and that is rarely pleasant.

Im doing that now because that's the only why right now and yes it very unpleasant

[ScottGem]

OK, I was busy most of the day, so I just got back to this thread. I'm going to repeat some of what Steve told but its make you understand how things work here.

First, no one likes to be wrong! But most of the regulars here are concerned more with the asker getting the right answer then with their being right or wrong. That's why many of us will ask for more info before giving advice. That's what Cadillac was doing. You talked about this schedule as if it was some state mandated document and so he was trying to find out what this document was. But instead of answering him you kept coming back with one line responses that didn't answer his question.

As Steve pointed out we VOLUNTEER our time here. If we ask for more info and the OP (original poster) doesn't supply that info, then it gets frustrating. What makes it further frustrating is when the OP starts showing an attitude about this. I was able to take a stab at what you were saying only AFTER you had posted several notes, many of them barely understandable. Instead of throwing back, quick, 1-line responses, try taking your time to marshal your thoughts, proofread your response and answer the questions asked.

Now, as we have told you, it is unlikely you will get overnights until the child has stopped breastfeeding. But you can build that into the visitation schedule. Like I suggested, you have different scheduled for different stages of your daughter's development. But this can all be entered into the court order.

Right now, as I understand it, there is no court order and you don't seem to be able to reach an agreement on your own or even with mediation. So it comes down to presenting your cases before a judge who will then hand down a ruling. If you want to get anywhere near what you want, you need to prepare your motions carefully and that's where an attorney comes in. If you present a document to a judge that is as poorly constructed as many of your responses here, you are not likely to get much.

[Useritson]

OK, I was busy most of the day, so I just got back to this thread. I'm going to repeat some of what Steve told but its make you understand how things work here.

First, no one likes to be wrong! But most of the regulars here are concerned more with the asker getting the right answer then with their being right or wrong. That's why many of us will ask for more info before giving advice. That's what Cadillac was doing. You talked about this schedule as if it was some state mandated document and so he was trying to find out what this document was. But instead of answering him you kept coming back with one line responses that didn't answer his question.

As Steve pointed out we VOLUNTEER our time here. If we ask for more info and the OP (original poster) doesn't supply that info, then it gets frustrating. What makes it further frustrating is when the OP starts showing an attitude about this. I was able to take a stab at what you were saying only AFTER you had posted several notes, many of them barely understandable. Instead of throwing back, quick, 1-line responses, try taking your time to marshal your thoughts, proofread your response and answer the questions asked.

Now, as we have told you, it is unlikely you will get overnights until the child has stopped breastfeeding. But you can build that into the visitation schedule. Like I suggested, you have different scheduled for different stages of your daughter's development. But this can all be entered into the court order.

Right now, as I understand it, there is no court order and you don't seem to be able to reach an agreement on your own or even with mediation. So it comes down to presenting your cases before a judge who will then hand down a ruling. If you want to get anywhere near what you want, you need to prepare your motions carefully and that's where an attorney comes in. If you present a document to a judge that is as poorly constructed as many of your responses here, you are not likely to get much.

Yes thank you ScottGem I think everybody help me out I most likely will be sent to mediation because I have not done that yet.To respond what you said I already said I was wrong for the way that I acted with cadillac59 and got nothing back.But don't say getting help for free and we do this for free.I go to other site and no one acts like that.And yes the say the same thing they can't understand what I'm saying but they come off like they really want to help you and get right to it and ask is this what you mean.But why don't you guy take what I'm saying and think about it before you guy come back and say all the time we were right you guys are wrong!I was a man about what I said and said I was wrong but if you guys can't say will we could have done it this way but we were are concerned more with the asker getting the right answer and if we did something to get you mad sorry we just did not understand what you were saying.

[ScottGem]

But why don't you guy take what im saying and think about it before you guy come back and say all the time we was right you guys are wrong!I was a man about what I said and said I was wrong but if you guys can't say will we could have done it this way but we were are concerned more with the asker getting the right answer and if we did something to get you mad sorry we just did not understand what you were saying.

No one said anyone was right or wrong. Also I don't know what other site you posted on, but different people have different styles. The written word only conveys a small portion of communications. I don't know why you feel that Cadillac was not being helpful. I think he was.

But that's really no longer an issue. You have your answers lets leave it at that.

[Useritson]

No one said anyone was right or wrong. Also I don't know what other site you posted on, but different people have different styles. The written word only conveys a small portion of communications. I don't know why you feel that Cadillac was not being helpful. I think he was.

But that's really no longer an issue. You have your answers lets leave it at that.

See you are not getting what I'm saying!I said that I said sorry and I was wrong for how I did come at him Cadillac !I told him sorry and I was hoping he would respond to my sorry that I said to him but he did not.But you see how you say different people have different styles?Yes people all do but if you can't see how I got mad I was feeling he was trying to be a smart guy but he was not.So I can clearly see that I was wrong and I think if you can as a man say were you are wrong at then you will never get better.So I say and will tell him one more time I'm sorry for how and the way I talk to Cadillac .He was trying to help me and I was the one being a smart guy.But you have to understand that I mistook the way he was saying it and if you guys can't say well sorry if you took it that way you was just frustrating with your with one line responses.So you we both can understand and we both win.But if you guys keep coming back and seeing stuff like people have different styles then we will never understand each other.And I'm not trying to upsets you!

[ScottGem]

No, YOU are not getting what I'm saying. I fully understand what you are saying. I realize you apologized and I applaud you for it. I'm talking about using this site in the future. I'm trying to help you understand that you should assume that anyone responding to your posts is trying to help and try to work with and be specific about answering any questions they have.

As to Cadillac, he may have unsubscribed to this thread so he hasn't even seen it since his last post. The fact that he hasn't responded to your apology should not be held against him.

Now please drop it.

[Useritson]

No, YOU are not getting what I'm saying. I fully understand what you are saying. I realize you apologized and I applaud you for it. I'm talking about using this site in the future. I'm trying to help you understand that you should assume that anyone responding to your posts is trying to help and try to work with and be specific about answering any questions they have.

As to Cadillac, he may have unsubscribed to this thread so he hasn't even seen it since his last post. The fact that he hasn't responded to your apology should not be held against him.

Now please drop it.

Should have know you were coming back with the last word you guys got to have that thank you for everything!

[Useritson]

No, YOU are not getting what I'm saying. I fully understand what you are saying. I realize you apologized and I applaud you for it. I'm talking about using this site in the future. I'm trying to help you understand that you should assume that anyone responding to your posts is trying to help and try to work with and be specific about answering any questions they have.

As to Cadillac, he may have unsubscribed to this thread so he hasn't even seen it since his last post. The fact that he hasn't responded to your apology should not be held against him.

Now please drop it.

One more thing why did you have to respond and then want to drop it

[ScottGem]

Seems to me you are the one who keeps wanting to get the last word in. I want to drop it beause the issue has been exhausted. I don't want to rehash things.