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    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #21

    Sep 2, 2009, 09:23 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Ludichris View Post
    How would you suggest handling the wedding situation? I am IN the wedding and I will not allow her to control my life that much to back out of it. But in regards to the cake, simply call her and tell her I don't think it's a good idea that we go get the cake together? Tell her that I need time to heal and that we shouldn't contact each other??
    You don't even have to explain yourself. Just tell her that you're not available to pick up the cake with her.

    One of the rules of no contact is to only communicate when it's absolultely necessary. You've had a lot of unnecessary communications with her that is hindering your progress in the healing process.

    Check out these two stickies, they should help:

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...qs-332732.html
    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...es-351302.html
    shazamataz's Avatar
    shazamataz Posts: 6,642, Reputation: 1244
    Uber Member
     
    #22

    Sep 3, 2009, 12:08 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Ludichris View Post
    How would you suggest handling the wedding situation? I am IN the wedding and I will not allow her to control my life that much to back out of it. But in regards to the cake, simply call her and tell her I don't think it's a good idea that we go get the cake together? Tell her that I need time to heal and that we shouldn't contact each other??
    Exactly that.
    She needs to understand that you are finding it hard to move on when she is still messaging you.
    Those messages are basically a constant reminder of her. Even if you only get a message once a week, that one extra week of healing you will have to do.

    You don't have to be blunt, just basically tell her that at the moment you need your space and that after the wedding it would be better if you do not talk to each other for a while.

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