[Gumbah Silerbac]

A girl I really like got engaged and pregnant about six months after we parted ways. I really liked her while our relationship was on but got the feeling she was not that into me. I always felt she belonged to someone else, that we weren't meant for each other but I still liked her, A LOT! She confessed she was still caught up with her x-bf and it all made sense. She was clearly still in love with him. She refused to have sex/make love (whateva u want to call it) and this made me really insecure and desperate to claim her as mine. Don't get me wrong, sex was never a pre-requisite, but, among other things, I felt she was making excuses and almost "saving herself for someone else" (perhaps someone more deserving). I laugh now when I think back on my desperate efforts to make her love me, but at the time, it was traumatic and extremely frustrating. I feel stupid thinking back on how I assumed blame for our messed up arrangement but with the state of mind I had at the time, I don't see how I could have done anything differently. It almost drove me mad, I couldn't even eat! We eventually broke up because thinks were inconsistent and the disparities were getting bigger and bigger. It broke my heart all over again when I heard she was I pregnant and engaged. Here I was still licking my wounds while she had started a new life with a 'new man'. Or was he new after all? I spoke to my mother about it and she told me it's unlikely the guy is new. It's probably 'the ex' or a guy that was always there. The funny thing is, she used to tell me "I worried about nothing" every time I would confront her about her not being into relationship as much as I was. In hindsight, I think I had eveything to worry about. It makes sense why she was never worried as much as I was - She couldn't be bothered by something that meant very little, if anything, to her.

The key lesson: Never settle for less, and never ignore how something makes you feel, even when you can't pin-point the problem. If something FEELS wrong - it probably is. Love yourself first. Aways.

[SoftPink627]

Before anyone tells me this thread is old I ALREADY KNOW, I am just posting this if people come across it and can use other ppl's stories to help them get through their situation. This happened to me. I don't know if you still check this or not but I'm writing my response so that other girls know that this happens. I was with my ex for 4 years and about 3 months after we broke up I saw a pic on myspace of him on one knee. I know he broke up with me because he wanted to be with her. When it happened initially I was surprised why I was so upset because I had fallen out of love with him but I came to the conclusion that it was an ego thing at the time. You figure I was with the guy for 4 years and she was only with him a couple months. With that said they were married 6 months after we broke up. It's been about 3 years and now I completely understand why he did it... They are perfect for each other and still married. Everyone needs to remember that an ex is an ex for a reason and yeah I definitely wouldn't want to be married to him, she can have him lol now I'm the one getting married and I'm so glad that my ex and I broke it off because if not I wouldn't be where I am today. Just remember if you are in this situation you need to think logically about the situation... Yes it hurts but do you really want to be with someone who wants to marry someone else? No way! What if the roles were switched and you fell madly in love with someone and had an annoying ex who kept wanting you back, yeah that's not attractive. Anyway just think of it as a blessing that now you can be with someone who truly loves you and someone you truly love =]

[cozyk]

You have no power over who she is seeing, marrying, etc. no matter how crazy this seems,, actually is. What you do have power over is to determine why, if you loved her like you say you "did a lot to her, and she always forgave you". Why did you do these things? What have you learned from this? Those are the things you have power over. I am sorry you are going through this pain. It's the worst, don't let it be in vain, learn your lesson.