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Florence333 · Aug 9, 2009, 09:12 AM

My dad died on a holiday in Switzerland. He died in Lake Geneva. He was very healthy.
I just don't get how he could have died so tragically. All he did was go for a swim. I cry a lot and feel very alone. Can anyone give me any advice on how to pull myself together? Also, does anyone have any theories to what caused him to die like that? Thanks

Wondergirl · Aug 9, 2009, 09:23 AM

I am so very sorry, Florence. My dad died suddenly too. He was at a church supper meeting, had eaten supper, and was talking with the man next to him, but then suddenly fell over onto the floor. He hadn't been sick and the doctor had recently said he was in good shape. It turned out to be a massive heart attack.

That was in 1994, and I still think about him every day, wishing I could ask him a question or at least hear his voice. My siblings and I put together a book of stories and memories about him and got that bound, so we each have a copy. We planted a tree in his memory, and we talk about him often. We believe we will see him again in the next life.

Don't be afraid to cry and to grieve. We still do at times, even after 15 years. And like we did, you will have to find your ways to remember him with joy and with love.

Florence333 · Aug 9, 2009, 09:31 AM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I am so very sorry, Florence. My dad died suddenly too. He was at a church supper meeting, had eaten supper, and was talking with the man next to him, but then suddenly fell over onto the floor. He hadn't been sick and the doctor had recently said he was in good shape. It turned out to be a massive heart attack.

That was in 1994, and I still think about him every day, wishing I could ask him a question or at least hear his voice. My siblings and I put together a book of stories and memories about him and got that bound, so we each have a copy. We planted a tree in his memory, and we talk about him often. We believe we will see him again in the next life.

Don't be afraid to cry and to grieve. We still do at times, even after 15 years. And like we did, you will have to find your ways to remember him with joy and with love.

Thanks for your answer

jmjoseph · Aug 9, 2009, 09:49 AM

Florence333,

I too lost my father suddenly. He and my mother were decorating the Christmas tree, and he had a heart attack, and died right there in the den. I am so sorry for your loss, and hope you will be strong at one of the most difficult times of your life.
GOD only knows why he takes some of us earlier than others, and I know it doesn't seem fair for you. But , I'm sure your father wouldn't want you to be sad. Just remember all the good things about him, and all the fun you had with him. Help your mother grieve too. You cry all that you feel you need to. I have prayed for you and will again later. I wish you the best.

Florence333 · Aug 9, 2009, 09:55 AM

Originally Posted by jmjoseph

Florence333,

I too lost my father suddenly. He and my mother were decorating the Chrismas tree, and he had a heart attack, and died right there in the den. I am so sorry for your loss, and hope you will be strong at one of the most difficult times of your life.
GOD only knows why he takes some of us earlier than others, and I know it doesn't seem fair for you. But , I'm sure your father wouldn't want you to be sad. Just remember all the good things about him, and all the fun you had with him. Help your mother grieve too. You cry all that you feel you need to. I have prayed for you and will again later. I wish you the best.

Thank you for your answer joseph, it was helpful

joanne 1986 · Aug 10, 2009, 06:10 AM

I'm really sorry for your loss, I too lost my dad at a very young age I was 4 at the time, I still miss him and think about him everyday! Its really hard when you lose someone. Have you talked to your mum about this?maybe some counciling will do you good. Opening up to someone can sometime be great and feel as if the weights been lifted. Hope you get through this difficult time soon. X

Florence333 · Aug 11, 2009, 12:12 AM

Originally Posted by joanne 1986

im really sorry for your loss, i too lost my dad at a very young age i was 4 at the time, i still miss him and think about him everyday! its really hard when you lose someone. have you talked to your mum about this?maybe some counciling will do you good. opening up to someone can sometime be great and feel as if the weights been lifted. hope you get through this difficult time soon. x

Yeah we are going to have counseling

britEl · Aug 11, 2009, 12:26 AM

In lakes there can be such strong currents it could pull even the strongest swimmer under water and they could drown. I am extremely sorry for your loss, just last month a friend of mine had drown in a lake it is horrible I know. All you can do is remember him, all the great times you had with your father. Cry, it helps don't hold back your tears to seem strong do not bottle it up inside just cry. Pray for him. Go to counseling. Talk to your family about him. Talk to people do not block people out let people talk to you. A death does not mean there is a death in your love for him.

artlady · Aug 11, 2009, 12:48 AM

I am so sorry for your pain.

My father died very suddenly from a heart attack and that was in 1985.I still miss him and there are times I still cry for missing him.

The pain does get better in time.

Know that your father would not want you to be overwhelmed with grief and that the beauty of love is that he has your love with him,just as you have his love with you.

That will never die.

I have a journal and I write to my Dad in it ,I have for years.I ask him questions and I feel sure I know what his answer's would be.It helps me to feel closer to him.Maybe it would help you as well.

I don't know why he was taken from you ,my faith tells me that one day when I am reunited with him,it will all become clear.

The questions you have are questions many people in grief ask.
Sadly,no one can say for sure why God chose this time to take him home.

Cherish the memories you have and the years you had together.
He lives on in you!

ChihuahuaMomma · Aug 11, 2009, 11:45 AM

I was a little older than you when my Dad passed ((I was 15)). It hurts no matter how they go. I'm so sorry for your loss. You just need to find a quiet space and cry and grieve. You must find your own personal way to remember him. I'm getting a tattoo in memorial for my dad in a few months. Good luck to you.

ChihuahuaMomma · Aug 11, 2009, 11:48 AM

P.S. Talking to my Dad helps. I have a picture of him on my bedside table. I always say "Good morning" and "Good night" to him. Tell him how much you miss him, tell him that you are thinking of him, tell him about your day. That always helped me and I know that my Dad is listening when I talk to him. He was always a good listener.

ontarioman · Dec 7, 2012, 09:16 PM

I was 11 when my father died too and the 40th year since he died passed and I dreamt he came back for a day. I still miss him dearly and Im 52. The love you have for him all your life will keep him in your heart. You're very young but old enough to undertand what his passing means. By all means mourn and just carry on living and growing to be an adult. All the best.

kiki0987 · Dec 28, 2012, 05:23 PM

My Daddy died too, only two days ago though.
I am 11 also and I miss him so much!
We were so close and I don't know what to do without him.
He died from a blocked artery and a bad heart (which nobody knew about).
Be strong and think about all the happy times you guys had together, as that is what I am doing.
He is in a better place now and maybe our dads will meet in heaven :)