[N0help4u]

Can you walk a different way or get some guys in your class to walk with you?

Have you tried telling this guy that he needs to leave you alone?

[angelbaby93]

I've tried to tell him to leave me alone I even push him away but he just can't take a hint my sisters have even threatened him a few times and one time itold him to get away from me or I'm calling the cops he just walked away that time and he followed me to school one time but is everywhere else I'm at when I'm not in a house and none of my friends really live by me and I rl;y can't walk another way especailly when walking to my store its all opened over there and walking around the block his house is still there

[angelbaby93]

U both have been great help thank you very much and I will keep pushing the issue until something is done about this man.. I just don't want him to get arrested and then get let out of jail and come after me or if he isn't found guilty somehow

[mermaid moon]

Get some mace, tell him you have something for him and spray him till he falls on the ground then kick him in the face.

[asking]

1) you need to get the attention of your mother and impress upon her that you feel in danger from this man. Tell her you need to talk to her and lay it all out in detail. Remind her how long it's been going on and that it is getting worse. You are being regularly molested, stalked, sexually harassed, and intimidated by this man.

2) Ask her to go to the police with you to file a complaint. Bring at least one friend who has seen this happening, or even two.

3) If the police do not take you seriously and act on your behalf, find an attorney. If your parents can't afford an attorney, there are many who will work pro bono (free) or find a local legal aid society (who also provide free legal advice).

4) Find a women's shelter and tell them what has been happening to you and ask them to give you advice about what to do. They should know how things work in your area. Make sure that you tell everyone you talk to that this man is stalking you, touching you, and sexually harassing you and you are afraid he is going to attempt to rape you soon.

Make sure you mother supports you in this. She's stressed, but this is more important and you need to get her attention. You have a right to have her stand by you in this. Also, get help from your sisters too if that helps you.

[Gemini54]

Get some mace, tell him you have something for him and spray him till he falls on the ground then kick him in the face.

Um, sorry, but this is going to make things MUCH worse. Firstly, she could be changed with assault and secondly he could get REALLY angry before or after and do her a great deal of harm.

When dealing with someone that is not mentally healthy - you DON'T get violent with them.

Bad, bad advice.

[angelbaby93]

Thank you all for your advice one more thing I would like to say is that my mother says I lead him on because ths man will say hi to me and I feel like if I don't say hi to him back that he will try to hurt me somehow I don't know how that's leading someone on

[asking]

It is not your fault. You have been trained to be nice.

However, your mother has a point in that you should not talk to him or be friendly. At this point, I understand your concern about retaliation. I personally think it is a legitimate one. You need to get help as soon as possible. However, if it feels safe, tell him not to touch you or talk to you anymore. Try to get someone to keep you company when you are outside until you get more help. You are right to take this seriously. Get someone else to go to the store until it's safe for you.

And in the future, you do NOT need to say hi back to any weirdo who approaches you. Practice being unfriendly. :)

We are all rooting for you here.

[Ren6]

It is not your fault. You have been trained to be nice.

However, your mother has a point in that you should not talk to him or be friendly. At this point, I understand your concern about retaliation. I personally think it is a legitimate one. You need to get help as soon as possible. However, if it feels safe, tell him not to touch you or talk to you anymore. Try to get someone to keep you company when you are outside until you get more help. You are right to take this seriously. Get someone else to go to the store until it's safe for you.

And in the future, you do NOT need to say hi back to any weirdo who approaches you. Practice being unfriendly. :)

We are all rooting for you here.

I would say to him this... "I do not want to speak to you. Any contact you have with me from now on will be considered harassment, and I will report it as such." Then, report him if he attempts to communicate with you. Also, I would avoid his street. Good luck... I know first hand what this is like.

[angelbaby93]

I told him to leave me alone when I saw him this morning coming up my street while I was waiting for my mother to come home from work and he came over to me and said hi so I said please leave me alone I don't want to talk to you and he said but why that's not nice and then I walked in my house shut and locked my door and he tried to come inside but when my dog barked at him and he saw her trying to go through the window he ran away

[N0help4u]

Have you asked him why is he bothering a minor. Does he have family or relatives that you can tell them what he is doing?

[asking]

Have you asked him why is he bothering a minor. Does he have family or relatives that you can tell them what he is doing?

Angelbaby has asked to be left alone more than once. At this point, ADULTS need to become involved. It is not up to angelbaby to deal with this by herself. It is precisely because she appears so vulnerable and unsupported by adults that he is picking on her.

The police should be notified and the family should consult a women's shelter for further advice. This creep is trying to get into her house. He's escalating. His mental illness if any is irrelevant. He's committing crimes. He's stalking her, he's verbally harassing her, and he has repeatedly assaulted her (he touches her without her consent), and now he is actively trying to get into her home? What is that, home invasion? If somebody tried to get into my house, I'd be on the phone to the police so fast...

I don't understand why everyone here is not telling angelbaby to report this to the police. He's ALREADY "done something" again and again and again. He does not need to actually commit forcible rape for them to be involved. If the mother won't act, find another adult. Any adult, even if it's the woman who runs the grocery store. Some adult in the same city has to help you, angelbaby. Go to the police by yourself if necessary and DO NOT tell them it's partly your fault. None of this is your fault.

Earlier it sounded like you had not told him to leave you alone, but you had already and now you've done it again. You've done your part.

How old are your sisters?

[N0help4u]

I agree her parents need to be the ones to confront him.
As far as reporting it to the police. There have been replies by me and others that police don't do anything until there is physical abuse.
They do not act on verbal or what intent may have been. She (her parents) should probably keep giving the police updates and requesting they try and do something. But often when you keep going to the police they decide to fine the victim as well as the person that is giving them a hard time. These things all do need reported to the police what they will do I don't know, but your parents should insist that they want the police to keep a folder.
I think maybe you should write a journal on everything he dones to you.

Your suggestion of going to a woman's shelter for further advice is a really good idea.

[mermaid moon]

Ask a police officer to approach him. Wouldn't it be wonderful if an officer would do so, undercover. You need a police report from here to heaven, so get started. This stalker type will not stop. If anyone ever tells you you are in any way responsible, do not believe it. No one teaches women and girls about the stalkers in the world and the damage they do.
When you give a stalker ANY attention, you feed their madness. Being nice or being nasty is all the same to him. There is a word for such diseased characters, erotomania. Maybe my spelling is off, but trust me, it is a delusional disease like psychopath and sociopath. You need to find and read a book called, THE GIFT OF FEAR. It is a wonderful teaching book.
Go to the police. Do it every day. And get an order of protection. Just reading this makes my skin crawl. If the police do not respond go to a women's shelter. Do not stop until someone begins a paper trail of the creep.
Good luck to you.

[mermaid moon]

Gavin DeBecker's THE GIFT OF FEAR
SURVIVAL SIGNALS

[asking]

As far as reporting it to the police. There have been replies by me and others that police don't do anything until there is physical abuse.

NOhelp4u, I think you are mistaken about this. In all the places I know, stalking is a crime. Trying to get into someone's house is a crime. Assault is a crime, particularly in combination with all these other things. He has already committed a long list of crimes against this girl. In any case, that's for the police to decide. They need to be made aware of the seriousness of the situation.

These things all do need reported to the police what they will do I don't know, but your parents should insist that they want the police to keep a folder.

Forget folder. They need to arrest this guy and get his attention.

I think maybe you should write a journal on everything he dones to you.

Excellent suggestion. Start it today, using your original post. But break it up into paragraphs and use complete sentences so it's easier for someone to read.

Your suggestion of going to a woman's shelter for further advice is a really good idea.

Yes! That too.

[N0help4u]

The parents need to stress that he is stalking to the police.
Different states vary

Here is California's stalking conditions

California Law
In California, both criminal and civil laws address stalking. According to the criminal laws, a stalker is someone who willfully, maliciously and repeatedly follows or harasses another (victim) and who makes a credible threat with the intent to place the victim or victim's immediate family in fear for their safety. The victim does not have to prove that the stalker had the intent to carry out the threat.

(a) COURSE OF CONDUCT. Means a pattern of conduct composed of a series of acts over a period which evidences a continuity of purpose.

(b) CREDITABLE [credible] THREAT. Means a threat, expressed or implied, made with the intent and the apparent ability to carry out the threat so as to cause the person who is the target of the threat to fear for his or her safety or the safety of a family member and to cause a reasonable mental anxiety, anguish, or fear.

(c) HARASSES. Means engages in an intentional course of conduct directed at a specified person which alarms or annoys that person, or interferes with the freedom of movement of that person, and which serves no legitimate purpose. The course of conduct must be such as would cause a reasonable person to suffer substantial emotional distress, and must actually cause substantial emotional distress. Constitutionally protected conduct is not included within the definition of this term."

Hopefully they can convince the police he falls under these guidelines as a stalker.

[angelbaby93]

Thank you all for your help I have just contacted the police about this and they have told me that they will send a police officer to patrol in my neighborhood and they will keep a special eye on me and on this man so he staays away from me

[N0help4u]

That's great. Make sure they keep up on their word and do that. Let them know the approximate times you have to pass his house.

[angelbaby93]

I will thank you all for your help and have a nice day