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    H_King85's Avatar
    H_King85 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Aug 3, 2009, 01:56 PM
    Being Selfish
    My girlfriend and my mother have now both told me that I am self-centered or should I say selfish. I don't see this because I am always thinking about other people. The only way I can see this in anyway is I use relations with "I" to topics. I don't want this ruinning my relationship. I feel this is changeable. How do I go about not showing/being so selfish?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Aug 3, 2009, 03:02 PM

    More info please.
    merissam's Avatar
    merissam Posts: 24, Reputation: 2
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    #3

    Aug 3, 2009, 03:11 PM

    I think you should say all of the time you haven't been self centered.and then ask them about the times that you were self centered and say that you didn't know and your sorry for them thinking that you were trying to be (:
    merissam's Avatar
    merissam Posts: 24, Reputation: 2
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    #4

    Aug 3, 2009, 03:11 PM
    I meant times you haven't been self centered.
    Torrid13's Avatar
    Torrid13 Posts: 637, Reputation: 149
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    #5

    Aug 3, 2009, 03:18 PM

    You definitely need to ask them about the areas you need to work on... otherwise, there's not enough information for us to really help you out.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #6

    Aug 3, 2009, 07:42 PM

    I agree with the others be open and ask them to give you some examples of things you do that make them feel this way.
    LifeChangesMan's Avatar
    LifeChangesMan Posts: 329, Reputation: 39
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    #7

    Aug 3, 2009, 07:48 PM
    How about next time you go to start a sentence with I, substitute it with some sort of animal, for example instead of, " I do everything perfect." you could go with, "Penguins do everything perfect" or "Spider-Monkeys do everything perfect."

    Just an idea.
    Gemini54's Avatar
    Gemini54 Posts: 2,871, Reputation: 1116
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    #8

    Aug 3, 2009, 10:38 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by LifeChangesMan View Post
    how about next time you go to start a sentence with I, substitute it with some sort of animal, for example instead of, " I do everything perfect." you could go with, "Penguins do everything perfect" or "Spider-Monkeys do everything perfect."

    Just an idea.
    Er, what? How bizarre. I sort of like the suggestion because it's like something out of Monty Python's Flying Circus ( the parrot did it not me! ), but I'm not sure how it will assist him to focus on others rather than himself.. . his family might just end up calling the men in white coats...
    HelpinHere's Avatar
    HelpinHere Posts: 1,062, Reputation: 144
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    #9

    Aug 3, 2009, 10:51 PM

    I believe he was using sarcasm to prove a point.
    To make it more serious.

    Original; self-centered: I think we should go to the movies.
    After changing his style: Do you want to go to the movies?

    Think it's good advice, but needed a more relatable way to say it.
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #10

    Aug 4, 2009, 04:49 AM

    Ask them what areas you need to improve on this way you can go into it with information on what to improve.
    artlady's Avatar
    artlady Posts: 4,208, Reputation: 1477
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    #11

    Aug 4, 2009, 04:57 AM

    It is changeable and I would have said perhaps it was a misunderstanding but when Mom AND the G.F. agree,its time to pay attention.
    Ask them to be specific and to give you examples of what they mean.
    In the future,try to include others in conversation and truly listen.
    People who are self centered generally don't honestly listen and appreciate others input.
    It is not something I think can be faked so look at why you behave this way to really get to the crux of the issue.
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