[passmeby]

I see your logic, HelpInHere, but how can there be a compromise here? That is what I'm trying to tell him, too-there's no way to compromise this issue. No way around it, I'd be stuck with a good portion of the dog's care (he has to work during the day, so who else is going to do it?) and I'd be stuck living with the thing and dealing with it's antics. So that's not really a compromise, that's more like a total defeat, but it involves a living creature, so yikes! No good!

I think in the case of getting pets, all parties should agree to take the animal on. Kind of like if it were a question of having a baby. No one would EVER tell someone who doesn't want kids to "just have one for the other person's happiness" or to compromise on that issue, so what's different here? As I said before, my husband knew there'd be no chance of a dog well before he married me, so...

I'm definitely going to hold my ground on this, I just wanted to post it partly to vent and partly to get ideas. Thanks for reading and responding, guys. I've got a pretty good response put together for next time! Thanks!

[passmeby]

We do have some hamsters and a flock of chickens, but I care for those guys.

I absolutely do love animals, just not dogs and a few other critters. I grew up on a good sized dairy farm, and in addition to the cows we had all kinds of creatures here and there, esp cats! Got to have those "barn cats"! I was an avid equestrian, always had a horse. So it's not at all that I don't like animals!

[mydogquestion]

Maybe your husband could volunteer at a dog shelter as a dog walker. He could go see the dogs when he has time and you do not have one in the house..

[passmeby]

He wouldn't volunteer, no way. And he'd want to adopt them all anyway if he did!

[Twink24]

Dogs really aren't as big of a responsibility as your making it seem. And you saying you have no tolerance for gross things that make messes doesn't make any sense to me, for your children probably drool, make messes, and fill up diapers which I would find way more disgusting than a dog. Your house is small? Get a small dog. Once it gets out of the 'puppy stage' they are much more independent and do not need to be looked after constantly. I really don't think hurting your relationship over your stubbornness is a good idea.

[HelpinHere]

Dogs really aren't as big of a responsibility as your making it seem.

Some dogs are, some are not.

The trick is finding a good dog that can just lay around, be mopey and depressed until his master comes home (the husband) and still be calm and normal when the other owners are around.
That's how my dog is, I like it, except he won't play with me when it's just me... :rolleyes:

[Chey5782]

Get a cat. They are typically a little more hygienic, they sleep a lot, they don't really get in the way. They aren't dogs... consider the idea?

[passmeby]

He doesn't care for cats unfortunately, so a cat wouldn't exactly stop the wanting of a dog! I personally love cats but I can't have one because I won't let him have a dog! LOL, so it does work both ways! But then again I never ask him if I can have a cat because I respect his position on cats.

Honestly, I'm not psyched on getting ANY animal right now. We've got the 2 hamsters for the kids and the chickens. I know, not exactly pets, but a responsibility nonetheless! I've got the most crafty chicken, "Frank", she (he?) gets in and out no matter what! So I'm not animal shopping or looking for a compromise... just looking for something to say to squash the asking for a dog all the time, that's all.

We're hoping to be able to do some travelling and possibly move very soon as well, so that itself doesn't lend well to a dog (or a cat, really)...

Twink, I'm not here to defend my feelings on dogs, OK? Some people just don't like dogs, and that's OK. My marriage isn't hurting over this, I'm just annoyed that he keeps asking, that's all. Esp since he knew long before we married that a dog would be out of the question!

[Chey5782]

That still doesn't sounds very fair to me. Marriage is about compromise. Let him get an outside dog, so you don't have to care for it? If you aren't hurting over it then what is the point in asking if for no reason other than to manipulate him. It doesn't sound like talking does any good if he knows how you feel and keeps bringing it up. He disrespects you by making you feel bad about not liking dogs, but is it really so intolerable that he talk about it, at least he hasn't just brought one home without caring how you feel.

I'm not saying any of this to offend you, I've just read through this post and it all sounds pointless. He's not going to get a dog because you won't let him. He probably talks about it just as much to express this desire as he does to annoy the crud out of you. (If he is anything like my husband that is.) I'd probably ask for advice too, because if my hubby did it all the time the only way it would end for us would be if I lost my mind and screamed and yelled at him until he FINALLY got his head out of his butt long enough to understand how much it bugged me.

That would be a pretty bad way of being forced into responding to the dog issue. I'd probably fail at this if I was in your position, so I guess I am just poking my hand in it to say I feel your annoyance and good luck. Yeah I know, pointless.

[passmeby]

Hey, Chey, yeah, he probably does do it half to annoy me, but I'll tell you, I see this kid-like sparkle in his eyes when he asks, he really does think that one of these times I'm going to say YES.

Anyway, I don't believe in outside dogs, unless we're talking about completely free dogs on a huge farm (and we don't live on a farm! ). I cannot see a dog tied to a stake or in some little fence with a little house, barely ever getting any interaction. Sorry, but I find it a form of cruelty and I wouldn't allow it to happen!

[Chey5782]

Ah, well without knowing if you have a big fenced in yard or where you live I couldn't begin to tell you the answer to that one. But if it was an idea you were agreeable to if you did have a big fenced in yard, you could always tell him, you fence it yourself you can have an OUTSIDE dog. It COULD potentially solve the problem. My ex husband was like this about dogs too, and I told him no unless he took on the responsibility, he said OK, we got her, he never did anything to train her whatsoever. The day I watched her pin my 2 year old son to the ground I called a buddy of his and gave her to them, they had wanted her badly anyway. So men who want a dog they probably won't take care of get no sympathy from me. You might even be doing the dogs of the world a favor if he wouldn't care for the dog like he claims. Have him chew on that one sometime.

[passmeby]

You're right. I know him, I know him WELL, and I know he won't properly care for the dog... and it'll get worse and worse as the "newness" of it wears off. Just like the weight set, the project truck, and so on! I know him so well, when he had to have this stupid wieght set (once again, wouldn't shut up about it! ) I made him sign a contract. I put in everything I thought would happen, and whaddya know, it all came true! Oh, I still pull out that contract and laugh and laugh!

He's the type of person who has this grand idea in his head but he's lazy and impatient. He probably wants a dog that'll walk by his side and chase a ball and ride alongside him in the truck, but that's not really realistic. And he's not thinking about the "work" part of it all and how much time it would take to get a puppy to become what you want it to, it's generally years before your dog calms down and behaves great and is most trustworthy. He's surely not thinking of what it's like to have to take the dog out to potty all winter long, or on rainy days. Or raking up it's poo in the cold or rain (or anytime for that matter! ).

Yeah, an outside dog would be an answer, but what's the point? He'll never play with it. We can't afford fencing for a dog anyway. And my luck, the thing will get loose and go on a crime spree!

[Chey5782]

Hahaha. A weight set is way different than an animal though, you are very right to tell him no when it comes to another life. A dog isn't a novelty toy, it's a living breathing chewing fluffy being that deserves proper care and a good quality of life.

Oh.. god... you should get him one of those electronic dogs for Christmas!

[HelpinHere]

Here's a point. Show him this thread!
Maybe everyone agreeing with you will throw him off just a little bit! XD :)

At the very least, just print out the replies that AGREE with you! :D
That'll show him, lol.

[passmeby]

I forgot about the weight set, so I'll just use that as my argument next time! ;)

Or I could tell him if he gets in real good shape and gets a six-pack he can have a dog. That might be considered a win-win! :)

[HelpinHere]

Lol, good mindset! Live up to your old commitments before you try to start a new one! Lol

Chey5782 agrees: I would SO do that next time he makes eyes at you about a dog. Cynics and Experts agree!
Passmeby agrees: LOL! Yeah, I could print it out, think he'd notice huge gaps and missing pages?

I didn't expect a greenie, let alone two, for that post. It's all good, I'll take what I can get! :D

Besides, passme, that's what paint's for! Screenshot, cut out the posts that you don't want, drag the others to look like one chain, and copy paste the numbers to look like you didn't edit it! When you print it, your husband would be none the wiser!
Lol, anyway, it was just a joke.

I do agree. If he can't commit to something to better himself, *cough*weightset*cough*, then he would only, make life miserable for a dog. Completely agree with you there.

[shazamataz]

I am a little late for this thread but I will add my comments anyway :)

Definitely do not, ever get a dog! Even with the compromise.
No matter how much he begs and pleads, a dog should be brought up in a loving home, not with someone who hates it.

[artlady]

I don't think a dog would be happy in your home with you as the primary caregiver.He would sense your dislike and resentment and would probably suffer from any number of neurosis.
Dogs are very attuned to that sort of thing and your husband should know that if he is even considering a dog.
They are extremely sensitive to human emotion and he would not be happy.
That should be the bottom line,it would be a match made in hell and no one wins.

[N0help4u]

I agree that taking care of goldfish is different than taking care of dogs. I think he wants to get a dog because it is something people like to have as a part of good memories for then and their kids growing up. And you can't walk and play catch with other pets. Then when you do get the dog the other pets tend to get neglected more sometimes.
I think the kids will get stuck cleaning up after the dog.
If you do get a dog I'd get something like a Jack Russel and build it a big dog house outside so it has a place outside as well as letting him in the house too if that is possible.

[Chey5782]

I don't know... I REALLY loved my pet turtle. Until my dad set it free one summer while I was away because he was too lazy to care for it.