[student64]

I have a daughter who is living in Ohio.
She is depressed because she and her boyfriend are not together. She moved their because of him.'
She constantly nit pick at him and they are alway's fighting. Now she is not happy and want to move.
I don't know what to say anymore. How can you help me. What should I say to her?

[dwalex]

It sounds like your daughter got in the trap of tying her happiness to a relationship thereby giving control over her happiness to another. At the extreem, this is called Co-Dependency. If she does not crawl out of the trap and learn to love herself for who she is and believe in her personal worth as a stand alone individual, she will never find true happiness in a relationship or not. Some books on topic are FEELING GOOD, THE NEW MOOD THERAPY by David Burns and FEELING BETTER, GETTING BETTER, STAYING BETTER by Albert Ellis. If she is truly depressed and has a history of such relationship woes, she should consider professional help.

As far as what you can do personaly, you can offer encouragement, give advice and then allow her to live her life. To step in and try to rescue her would likely make matters worse and you cannot help her until she is willing to look at herself honestly and help herself.

Best wishes,
Dwalex