[Alty]

Jennie, you obviously love your daughter very much, it's easy to see that you only have her best interests at heart.

She has been through a lot in her young life, and she has a lot more to deal with in the future, as do you.

My son has ADHD, parenting him is 10 times harder that parenting my daughter. Everything he does is a huge accomplishment because he has to work so hard to get it. You'll find that out when Ayla is in school, lots of time spent on homework etc.

I just can't imagine taking on extra children when your own child has so many issues. I also can't imagine caring for other children but spending the majority of my time on the computer while they're in another room playing unsupervised with a child that (by your own admission) has a lot of tantrums, outrageous behavior etc.

I realize you've already accepted payment from the parents you're sitting for. So make the most of it. It's summer, have some fun with the kids, go outside, set up a little kiddie pool, let them splash around, get your feet wet.

Maybe do a craft. No extra supplies necessary, just use things around the house. You'd be amazed how many things you can do with empty toilet paper rolls and empty milk jugs. Trust me, I have a whole shelf full of cute little projects the kids and I have done just using stuff we found around the house.

Play with them, enjoy them, spend time with them. The computer will still be there when the house is quiet and you have some time.

[Justwantfair]

Not to beat a dead horse, but Jennie, this is what I was referring to, you have been on for the last four hours straight, with a daughter and hubby home.

Why don't you fit in some quality time with them today?

[jenniepepsi]

Justwantfair, your assuming too much. I had also said that they were both still sleeping (at 8am) and did not get up until 2 hours ago (9am) in which case they are both at the pool right now at 11am.

[Justwantfair]

That doesn't equal four hours, just so you know.
Why didn't you want to go to the pool with them?

[jenniepepsi]

Um.. yes it does...

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I have 3 infected bug bites on my calf right now. I tried to go in the pool last night but it stung too much.


I really meant what I said earlier about taking all of your advise seriously, and I won't be sitting on the computer during the day when the kids are here. I didn't have the worlds greatest role model for motherhood, my mother either didn't pay any attention to what we did, or she was over controlling and abusive. I am still working on trying to find a balance, and NOT turn into my mother.
And I did a lot of learning by trail and error, and I'm still learning.

[Alty]

I have 3 infected bug bites on my calf right now. I tried to go in the pool last night but it stung too much.

You still could have gone, sat on the deck and watched, cheered, spent time with them.

Instead you're at home, on the computer.

Family time is important, more important than a web site.

I see you've also gone to invisible mode, why?

[Justwantfair]

Well here it's four complete hours, you are listing three hours.
According to my clock it's since 9:38 am and my clock now reads 2:03 pm, that is four and a half complete hours.

So since I know that the clock are off the times between here and there, they are not off by the complete hours since you have been on this morning. So maybe your first post was 7:38 am your time because it is now 12:03 pm your time.

So I guess your real concern was while babysitting, not the extra attention you could be paying your husband and daughter. If you want to build great foundations to a relationship, then you can't build that being online. That is all I am trying to say.

You said that they were up at 9 am, that would have been a good time to go sneek in some quality time with your family, since you knew you wouldn't be going to the pool.

[Alty]

We have family nights ever day of the week, during the day when hubby is on nights.

We have movie night, games night, reading night, craft night. A different activity every day.

It keeps us connected, gives us a chance to talk, enjoy eachothers company.

We also do our family walks every day, take the kids, the dogs, walk around the neighbourhood, go to the playground, our beagle loves the slide, it's funny.

I'm only online when the kids are otherwise occupied, or when hubby is home spending time with just them. They need the one on one with him, they get a lot of that with me.

Weekends are for family outings. We're always on the go.

Jenny, you only have a short time with your child while she still wants to be around you. Before you know it she'll be a teen and she won't want you around as much. Then she'll be grown up, move out, have a life of her own. You're missing out on the best years of her life, the time to make the memories that last forever, create that bond that never breaks.

Does you computer give you love? Does it hug you, kiss you, call you mom? No, it doesn't.

Just because you're not babysitting today doesn't mean you have a free day. You still have a child, a child with a lot of issues, and she needs her mother.

Just saying.

[jenniepepsi]

Again you are assuming way too much.

When did I say I was on the computer this whole time?

When did I say I did not get off the computer and spend time with them? I ate breakfast with them. Me and ayla watched some morning cartoons together. Me and ayla played 2 players on a game called peggle.

So basically the way you are saying it, is if someone posted yesterday at 2pm, and then posted again at 4, and again at 6. that means they have been online from 2pm-6pm non stop?



And we don't play outside unless we are in the pool because it has been an average of 115* for the last few weeks, with heat warnings out from the national weather service.

I do not work, not ONLY because of my bipolar. Yes its difficult to keep a job because of it. But that is not the only reason. I homeschooled ayla for 2 years before this year. Now that she is wanting to go to public school, I have stopped. However I have made the CHOICE to be a Stay at home mom, even when she goes to school, because I want to be here at home for her, before school, after school, and any time during the year when she may get sick, or hurt and need to come home from school. This is my choice.


I'm sorry ladies... but I am starting to feel a little ganged up on and criticized here... I still love you all, and I'm not angry, my feelings aren't hurt or anythign like that... but I think I'm going to step outside, have a ciggarette and a few deep breaths. Besides, its lunch time, and I need to start cooking lunch ;) talk to you all later.

[N0help4u]

I'm not trying to gang up on you. I only wanted to share what my experiences have been about how people take things.
Heck the past two months I have been doing hardly anything but sitting at this computer from 7 am to midnight because I am in such a funk that I am all alone, no responsibilities and no money.
I know how the get up away from the computer to go get something to eat, then check the site for a bit and then rearrange a closet or run a neighbor to the store get back and check computer again, goes. That is why I suggested the setting aside time because even though you may not be on it the whole time the being drawn to it can be a problem.

[Alty]

I didn't mean for you to feel that way.

I think we all have legitimate concerns.

Jennie, I just can't imagine spending as much time online as you do with a child that has so many problems and other children to boot.

I realize you don't have the extra kids today, I just have to wonder why you aren't with your husband and child.

You say there are problems in your marriage, maybe it's lack of time together.

Do you and hubby ever go out on a date, go for a walk, spend time one on one?

How about family time?

As for lunch, why not ask Ayla to help. I ask my kids to help all the time. They can do simple things, like butter the bread for grilled cheese, get the cheese out of the wrapper, put it on the bread.

They both set the table, get the drinks, help. It's time with me and teaches them in the process.

I just think a lot of us are a bit confused how you have so much time to be on the computer when you have so many problems at home.

Not ganging up on you. I'm just questioning things.

Okay?

[Justwantfair]

again you are assuming way to much.

when did i say i was on the computer this whole time?

when did i say i did not get off the computer and spend time with them? i ate breakfast with them. me and ayla watched some morning cartoons together. me and ayla played 2 players on a game called peggle.

so basically the way you are saying it, is if someone posted yesterday at 2pm, and then posted again at 4, and again at 6. that means they have been online from 2pm-6pm non stop?

You were on the computer the whole time. If you watched cartoons with your daughter you came back just to post in between commercials. There are 2 - half hours gaps in your posting, but I have been on all day and there are at least two hour gaps in my postings as well, while I read posts or go have a cigarette. Besides the fact this isn't the only site you frequent.

I am just not buying it, but since you cried 'foul' I will back off.

You will be the one to regret this time later, so it's no harm to me.