[jor900]

When I was in the 9th grade my faith was booming, no one could stop me from shouting halliluah to the LORD! But then I got into a relationship (which was a bad idea I've never had a good one) he was really nice and funny and didn't seem like the type that would hurt me at all so I put a lot of my trust in him. Well come when I was on vacation he dumped me over myspace and told me not to call him. I was crushed and as hard as I prayed the pain didn't subside. Since then its been one trip after another never getting on my feet again as hard as I try to run straight to God. I love him he knows I do, but I'm having to fight my own sins for my soul. I ask every night for forgiveness but I feel so filthy and sick in a way. And ever since all those consistent troubles there's been something I like to call a demon sitting in the corner of my mind saying every time I pray "what if he's not there?" I can't stand it I'm so miserable and I want my faith back more than anything. I never stopped praying though and never stopped following his word but I can't find him. I'm so very lost, and so thirsty for the lord, but every time I call to him, he doesn't seem to yell back.
PLEASE I beg you if any of you have any answers, please help me.

[N0help4u]

When you ask God to forgive you and you still feel sick inside it is YOU that are not forgiving yourself.
You need to give it all to God and just start living a godly life and have faith that he forgives you.
He says that when you repent and turn back to him he throws your sins as far as the east is to the west and forgets them.

You are the one holding on to it. In time the closer you get to God the easier it will be to get over this.
I have been there and it takes time. Read your Bible, do some topic studies, find some good Christians, pray and hang in there.
And remember lesson learned don't fall back again God will bring you someone special in time. The more you yield yourself to God the more this feeling will vanish.

[Wondergirl]

First, you need to grieve over the failed relationship. God didn't leave you, and is there waiting for you to work through the failure. How can you do that?

[N0help4u]

Also remember the story of the woman that pushed through the crowd to touch the hem of Jesus' garment. He turned and said 'WHO touched me'. He was being touched by all these people around him yet he turned for that one woman touching him and noticed.
Why? Because she pushed forward and made a special effort when it seemed like she couldn't or wouldn't make it to touch his garment. Yet Jesus turned and noticed.
That is what you have to do.

[rnrg]

When i was in the 9th grade my faith was booming, no one could stop me from shouting halliluah to the LORD! But then i got into a relationship (which was a bad idea i've never had a good one) he was really nice and funny and didn't seem like the type that would hurt me at all so i put a lot of my trust in him. Well come when i was on vacation he dumped me over myspace and told me not to call him. I was crushed and as hard as i prayed the pain didn't subside. Since then its been one trip after another never getting on my feet again as hard as i try to run straight to God. I love him he knows i do, but im having to fight my own sins for my soul. I ask every night for forgiveness but i feel so filthy and sick in a way. And ever since all those consistent troubles there's been something i like to call a demon sitting in the corner of my mind saying everytime i pray "what if he's not there?" I can't stand it im so miserable and i want my faith back more than anything. I never stopped praying though and never stopped following his word but i can't find him. I'm so very lost, and so thirsty for the lord, but everytime i call to him, he doesn't seem to yell back.
PLEASE i beg you if any of you have any answers, please help me.

Sometimes it helps to keep a journal of our relationship with God. List your prayers and answered prayers along with your difficulties and how God brought you through. Then when "things" get a little messy in our life, and we think that God has left us, we can look back over what HE HAS DONE and His faithfulness. It makes the "rough" ride bearable since we know that God will see us through.

Also, about forgiveness, we only have to ask God once with a sincere heart to forgive us. If we truly did that, then He has forgiven us. He promises in His Word that He will not bring it up again. When Satan or his demons accuse you or bring up the fact that God will not hear you, or that you are not forgiven, just remind Satan that God has promised in His Word to forgive and forget; Satan has to flee. Have faith and trust God. God wants a relationship with you probably even more than you do with Him.

Remember to always put God first in whatever you do. That includes choosing the person you date. Spend time with God daily and seek His will for your life. If you are a young person, hang out with other believers. Get involved with your church group. God has a plan for your life as you know. Don't let the "world" pull you away from following after Him. All Christians have difficult times. Its just a matter of, "Do we immediately run to God at the first "hint" of difficulty (and when good times come) OR do we continue on and try to handle it ourselves?"

Being a Christian is a growing process, learn from your mistakes and move forward. Remember, God never walks away, it is always we that do that.

Read God's promises as in Proverbs 3:4-6 (New International Version)

4 Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. [a]

Rita

[DrJ]

Faith seems pretty easy when it's never been tested.

You said you are praying for the pain to subside... have you considered the possibility that subsiding the pain is not the solution that He wants you to have?

You know there is nothing that can be put before you that you cannot overcome. And it sounds like you still have this HUGE unresolved issue in your life that is following you around everywhere like a little demon in the corner.

Understanding... acceptance... forgiveness... not just for the boy that left you but for yourself, as well.

We are all always fighting our own sins for our soul.

[0EntitY]

First one would have to define God to come to any kind of understanding in a reference sense. Maybe some time soon I will give my definition of God. I like the non-Biblical quote, "God helps them who help themselves". Whoever thought that up might not have understood it's full wisdom.
What is important is right now or the present which is reality. When you think about it, there is only the present. The past and future are only in the mind. I try to do things that help keep me in the present, where I feel better, think better, and make better decisions. So, my advice is to reach first base, before attempting anything else. I like going for walks on the beach and doing physical things that require my attention be in the present...

[N0help4u]

Past, present, future and living in the present really doesn't get you closer to God though.
It gets you more aware of your being in relation to here and now and you yourself but it never really got me closer to God. Closer in the sense that I prioritized my life a bit better but that's about it.

[Wondergirl]

You don't find God; He finds you. He is in the face of each person you see. Jesus' second great commandment was to reflect God's love for you by giving that love to others. Find ways to show love -- read my "signature" below this.

There's an old Sunday School motto - Jesus first, others second, and yourself last. That spells J O Y.

We are blessed by God to be a blessing to each other.

[Alty]

I am not a Christian but I do believe in God.

My faith in God was tested the most when my parents died. I prayed all day every day for a miracle. I begged God to let them survive.

When my Dad lost his battle I hated God. Why didn't he answer my prayers? I was so angry, so hurt, I literally screamed out loud that I hated him, that I would never again trust him. I meant it with all my heart.

Then, 6 1/2 months later, my mother died. Again I screamed at God. How could he leave me all alone? How could he take two such wonderful people from this earth? Why? There had to be a reason. I wasn't willing to listen though.

It took a long time for me to realize that just because I asked for something, it didn't mean that I should be granted what I asked for.

There's a reason for everything, and only God can decide, only God knows.

Do I still wonder why? Yes, I do. Do I have a relationship with God again? Yes, I do.

I asked for a miracle, the answer was no.

He's still there for you, you just have to accept that what you asked for, it wasn't meant to be.

Peace. :)

[N0help4u]

I am not a Christian but I do believe in God.

My faith in God was tested the most when my parents died. I prayed all day every day for a miracle. I begged God to let them survive.

When my Dad lost his battle I hated God. Why didn't he answer my prayers? I was so angry, so hurt, I literally screamed out loud that I hated him, that I would never again trust him. I meant it with all my heart.

Then, 6 1/2 months later, my mother died. Again I screamed at God. How could he leave me all alone? How could he take two such wonderful people from this earth? Why? There had to be a reason. I wasn't willing to listen though.

It took a long time for me to realize that just because I asked for something, it didn't mean that I should be granted what I asked for.

There's a reason for everything, and only God can decide, only God knows.

Do I still wonder why? Yes, I do. Do I have a relationship with God again? Yes, I do.

I asked for a miracle, the answer was no.

He's still there for you, you just have to accept that what you asked for, it wasn't meant to be.

Peace. :)

That's the way you have to look at it. God has three answers when we pray for things we want
Yes and it is his perfect will
Or it is his permissive will and we learn a lesson from it

N0 and we accept it knowing he has his reasons
Or we go against it and again we learn a lesson from it

Not now and we accept it knowing he has his reasons
Or not now and we again go against his perfect will

Talk about ''in the best interest of the child''

We are God's children when we reach out to him
But we may not always feel his presence it doesn't mean he is not there.
It just means we are going through the valley.
There will be many valleys and mountain tops through the years.
The thing is are you going to stick with God through it all and not go by feeling.
Feelings can be misleading Faith is the better choice.

[0EntitY]

NOhelp4u, please define God?

[N0help4u]

God is the creator and he wants us to have a relationship with him. He is righteous and he has his absolute truth.
He can not go against his nature.

I don't know exactly what you want defined about God.

[Alty]

NOhelp4u, please define God?

The Christian God, seeing as that's what the OP is asking about.

This is not the place to start a debate.

[N0help4u]

I don't think Oenitity is looking for a debate but it being an open board could well turn into just that.

I agree the point is that OP did say they WERE a Christian and she is trying to get back to God
So defining God really isn't the problem here I don't think.

If OP had said how do you find God then it would be open to defining God.

[0EntitY]

No debate... I already gave my comment to OP, and I think a debate was trying to start of that comment. I will say Good Day too all...
This forum is simply, not my cup of tea...

[N0help4u]

I wasn't trying to start a debate with my early comment. I wouldn't even have said it if OP hadn't said they were Christian trying to find their way back to God because I know a lot of the spiritual faith is based on past, present and future as you were talking about but it wasn't (jn this case) what OP was referring to.

I really do enjoy talking the self help new age spirituality stuff but OP can bring that up if they want.

[mary79]

From experience I can relate to feeling this way. I felt that when I prayed or talked to God, he wasn't hearing me and was so far from me because of my sins. And even when repenting I knew I lived in sin. It seems you sincerely love the Lord to feel bad or guilty about your sins. I want to share with you what I was reminded. First of all. Isn't no guy in this world going to do for you what God has and will do for you. The hurt from our experiences indeed distracts us spiritually. But if I'm not mistaken God does tell us in Hebrews 13:5, that he will never leave or forsake us. Our sins and lifestyles may cause us to fall away from himat times to the point we may not feel or hear from him, but that doesn't mean that HE is not with us. God also reminded me once that Jesus Christ died for ALL my sins. OUR sins. Meaning past, present, and future sins. Jesus did not suffer and die for nothing. He did it for us. So when we sin and become truly repentant, we can be forgiven. I empasize TRULY. We are not too bad for the blood of Jesus. We are not too bad for Him. I told God that I was feeling so far from him and I also expressed the fact that I felt so ashamed of the things I had been doing. I told him I would understand if he was not hearing or looking at me. Later on I turned on the radio and heard this song:

It's 2 am, the ticking in the hall is keeping time
The clock is counting down to morning's light
Too many times I've crossed the line
And put my faith aside
And the regret I feel won't let me sleep tonight

And even though it feels like You're a million miles away
In the night time stillness I can hear You say:

Chorus
No height, no depth
Could keep you from my love
No thing that you could ever do
There's no place so far
That you are out of reach
No matter what you feel this still is true
No thing can keep my love from

I never thought I'd get so far from where I started
I must have left You one day at a time
And thinking of the things I've done and longing for what's lost
I can't believe You'd want me as I am

And even though it feels like I'm the smallest one on earth
Somehow Your quiet voice inside is heard

Chorus

No matter how we've fallen
No matter where we are
God's heart is always waiting
His arms are never far

Chorus


Erin O'Donnell on MySpace Music - Free Streaming MP3s, Pictures & Music Downloads

you can hear it on her myspace page
Best wishes

[dincher]

This is a very good question posted by Jor900. I've always wondered why some people have that spirituality in them - like they shout the halleluyahs' and all.

Others consider themselves to be christians and don't feel so spiritual. I'm one of those people. Back in the day, I felt so spiritual, I really did do everything in my life to reach my goals of serving Him.

Today, after a bad marriage, and a rude awakening that my religion wasn't the real deal, when it comes to spirituality I feel so blah.

Meanwhile some good friends around me have "woken up" from leading the so called bad life - lives filled with drugs, sex, etc, and now today, they're super spiritual.

So I wonder, how is it possible that some people become spiritual (even during problems) and others are just blah.

More importantly, what causes these people who weren't spiritual to "wake up" and become spiritual? It's not like they were praying to God when they were doing drugs, as an example, or when they were getting arrested by the cops. So why do they suddenly feel the spirituality?

[Maggie 3]

God is His Word the bible, we need to read it every day. That's how we get to know
God and keep Him close, in our heart. We feed our spirit with His wisdom and
Knowledge that is in His word. Study to obey God's Word in everything, and keep
In His Will and His Way. Stay close to God, it is the secret to
Joy and peace in your life." I am the Way the Truth, and the Life".
"Draw close to God and He will draw close to you" James 4-8

The Lord Bless You, Maggie 3