[papermate]

Hi ladies.
So here I am posting this hoping for some sort of insight. In about 3 weeks I should be expecting a period, but am pretty certain it isn’t coming. June’s was short, and very light (14-18 - 4 days, and out of all of those, I don’t recall it filling a regular tampon once, but still had clotting which was a sign to me that I wasn’t PG but I did ignore this at the time) ( Sorry if TMI but) – in fact I thought I was PG taking two HPT’s just in case – my body wasn’t feeling right and my breasts seemed to feel heavy, but after both tests came back negative I took it as all symptoms of PMS – and tried to relax.

[Just a little background information – when I was 17 I had a D&C, immediately after I went on the Depo-Provera BC Needle after about a year I went off it due to lack of calcium and the long term effects it was having on my body, also my partner and I were still together and serious so I didn’t feel the need for it anymore either; we don’t practice safe sex, but we are exclusive. ] All of that being said… to this day, I’ve yet to have a scare – so a small part of both of us kind of assumed I wasn’t likely to conceive again, and although it was upsetting It was something I decided would be all right. . since children weren’t something I really wanted in my life due to my own childhood/upbringing. We’ve been careless now for well a little over a year and a half – and well July kept going by day by day ; and my moods varied like the weather. The tests just didn’t convince me, in fact I was almost positive I wouldn’t be getting a period, even though body wise /PMS symptom wise.. in my head it was coming - on the 18th in the afternoon I went to the washroom and when I whipped I had a pinkish color and proceeded to assume it was my period instantly taking a tampon – I proceeded to do this for about 4 days.. just in case – and each time only to realize the light amount of red that was on the tip of the pon. Normally I’m like clotzilla – so this was so out of the ordinary for me.. it was at first watery and reddish – then just red. It lasted for only two days.. really ; there was hardly pain.. well not compared to my normal AF that leaves me on the couch in pain for days. I’m so easily irritated, annoyed, constantly exhausted and I cry so easily…and my nipples/boobs feel like I may be going through puberty or something! Its unreal. So after those few days.. I waited for more AF.. but it never came. Thus leaving me to go to shoppers and once again purchase another two tests. (my boyfriend says he’s going to check their stocks, see if its worth putting money on LOL…I just get paranoid) I’ve seen enough negative to know what a negative looks like.. . and I’ve never once seen an evap line – but what happened was I peed, waited the two minutes.. and the thick blue line appeared.. and then behind it was a faint second line – I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me so I found myself sitting in the bathroom for almost 15 staring at it.. . showed him and he even said ; that’s not a line – but he however did see something. We both took it as a maybe false, maybe positive - took the second one the next day.. during the day.. instead of waiting until the next morning ; and the same thing. I’m going for the third times a charm trick, convinced that if it is a positive it will defiantly show this time. But I almost feel as if I don’t need the stupid HPT to tell me – my bodies pretty much told me everything. Both my BB’s are lactating when pressures putt on them, my lower abdomen is so bloated; the only reason I know its bloated is because I can’t seem to stomach anything without wanting to vomit. That and the scale – has fully agreed with me,with almost no weight gain.
My mouth is so dry that even sometimes when I try to – swallowing is next to impossible. Its kind of irritating, being so unsure of this pregnancy thing. I find myself thinking I am ; and then not sure what to think about next. Its such a huge decision, it’s the choice of someone else’s life.. which is the reason I was completely unsure of having kids in the first place – we are both at a point where we can fully provide for this child if that’s what it is. We’ve been together since 17 lived together every day since – ill be 21 in march, and he just turned 22 with a sales job. I’m not worried about money – I find myself more worrying about support since my family isn’t even around ; and his is.. not very close. Wed have to make our own family. It just all seems overwhelming.
:confused:

[JudyKayTee]

Your post is almost too lengthy to sort through - what are you asking?

Are you pregnant despite two negative pregnancy tests?

Should you even consider having a baby at this time in your life?

[papermate]

It is above lengthy ; that's my finger tips going as fast as my thoughts.
- I had two negative tests in June - come July there was a faint line, on both tests.
Having an abortion the previous time was the right thing to do considering my life,lifestyle etc. to this day its something I regret;even just wishing I had given a child life,in hopes of it finding a home and parents that can love it- the thought is the same with this.. if it turns out to be a pregnancy. I'm just not sure my boyfriend feels the same way ; I feel as if he's happy about it.

[JudyKayTee]

Do you need opinions about having an abortion; advice on whether you're pregnant? Honestly, I don't know what you are asking.

If I read this right you have had one abortion, you've been having unprotected sex and you are questioning whether you are pregnant?

How quickly did you have symptoms with your first pregnancy? If you are this worried, perhaps you should see a Doctor.

[J_9]

I also am very confused about exactly what you are asking.

[jenniepepsi]

I had a hard time following that too.

Best advise I can give you is SEE YOUR DOCTOR.

With 2 negs and 2 pos its time to get a blood test done. And your doctor can help you figure out what to do next.

Good luck hon.

[papermate]

Thanks all. I realize there was a bunch of information in the above ; my thoughts are a mess.